Tomorrow is the first day of school and is Anna's first year going all day. She is SO excited about starting First Grade and eating lunch at school. Last year she was upset because she didn't get to do such cool things. I am sure tonight she will have a hard time going to sleep because she is so excited.
I am torn. I am really excited for her and I know she'll have fun. But part of me is sad because she'll be my first kid to go all day. Ah! What happened to time? Of course, I have also looked forward to this day because it means my job gets easier, but at the same time my little girl is growing up! Who said she could do that?
And then part of me worries if she will be okay. Will she get lost? Will she be too shy to ask for help if she can't open her milk at lunch? Will she miss me? Will she get too tired? How will she do? I am sure these are all normal worries for a first time mom. I just can't believe the time is here already.
So yes, the first day of school is tomorrow and I have more jitters than Anna. She'll do wonderfully and I am sure once a few days pass and I see that she is okay, I will calm down too.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Halfway Mark!
Today marks the halfway point in my pregnancy and I am filled with mixed emotions. I am so excited to meet our new addition. I can't imagine another boy combination of us and what he'll look like. I am anxious to see what his little personality will be like.
I also am amazed that I am already at 20 weeks. It only seems like in the past two months I have felt pregnant. Sure, I've been sick all along, but I only have started to show and feel the baby move in the past month or so. I thought the sickness would never end, but it has subsided greatly and here I am at 20 weeks! Wow!
And I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the least bit nervous about the next 20 weeks. I am starting to get winded going up stairs or hills. Carrying solid Jimmy is work and poops me out. Wasn't I in shape before all this started? Not being able to lay on my stomach can be frustrating, not to mention having to go to the bathroom frequently. I am still getting over the random virus I picked up on vacation (so not cool to do) and last night had a little panic attack when I realized I would be 20 weeks today. I told Marshall that I wanted the baby to come now and I didn't want to do this anymore. That I wish I could just take off my belly for a little while and let him carry the baby, like with one of those faux pregnancy tummies that straps on. It hit me that I was only going to get bigger and more uncomfortable and I thought "Ah! I don't want to!"
Now I am sure I am the only woman who has ever felt this way (yeah right). It's not that I don't want the new baby or am not excited about being pregnant. It's just that the reality of my ever increasing size and discomfort has materialized in my mind. It's fun to start showing and feel the baby move and watch your belly get bigger. I already feel big and awkward, despite the kind people that tell me I am not very big at all. I love being told that, but sometimes I do want to say "Even though I may not look big, I feel big for me so let me whine about how huge I feel and give me sympathy." Then comes the point where you think "Okay, I don't think I can get any bigger. Someone hit the "stop" button!" I'm not to that point yet, but with the moments of discomfort I have now, I know it will come before the baby is out.
My sweet husband, always good with an answer, knew that there wasn't any right answer he could give to my little panic attack. He calmly expressed his confidence in me and told me it would be okay. This was one of those times when I was very grateful for his calm manner. I am sure running around with his hands flailing and yelling "You're right Sue! You're doomed! You're going to be humungous and writhing in agony by the end!" would not have helped. I know I will be okay, I just hope I can still breathe by the end. It WILL be so worth it to meet our new little guy!
I also am amazed that I am already at 20 weeks. It only seems like in the past two months I have felt pregnant. Sure, I've been sick all along, but I only have started to show and feel the baby move in the past month or so. I thought the sickness would never end, but it has subsided greatly and here I am at 20 weeks! Wow!
And I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the least bit nervous about the next 20 weeks. I am starting to get winded going up stairs or hills. Carrying solid Jimmy is work and poops me out. Wasn't I in shape before all this started? Not being able to lay on my stomach can be frustrating, not to mention having to go to the bathroom frequently. I am still getting over the random virus I picked up on vacation (so not cool to do) and last night had a little panic attack when I realized I would be 20 weeks today. I told Marshall that I wanted the baby to come now and I didn't want to do this anymore. That I wish I could just take off my belly for a little while and let him carry the baby, like with one of those faux pregnancy tummies that straps on. It hit me that I was only going to get bigger and more uncomfortable and I thought "Ah! I don't want to!"
Now I am sure I am the only woman who has ever felt this way (yeah right). It's not that I don't want the new baby or am not excited about being pregnant. It's just that the reality of my ever increasing size and discomfort has materialized in my mind. It's fun to start showing and feel the baby move and watch your belly get bigger. I already feel big and awkward, despite the kind people that tell me I am not very big at all. I love being told that, but sometimes I do want to say "Even though I may not look big, I feel big for me so let me whine about how huge I feel and give me sympathy." Then comes the point where you think "Okay, I don't think I can get any bigger. Someone hit the "stop" button!" I'm not to that point yet, but with the moments of discomfort I have now, I know it will come before the baby is out.
My sweet husband, always good with an answer, knew that there wasn't any right answer he could give to my little panic attack. He calmly expressed his confidence in me and told me it would be okay. This was one of those times when I was very grateful for his calm manner. I am sure running around with his hands flailing and yelling "You're right Sue! You're doomed! You're going to be humungous and writhing in agony by the end!" would not have helped. I know I will be okay, I just hope I can still breathe by the end. It WILL be so worth it to meet our new little guy!
Saturday, August 9, 2008
McConkie Family Reunion 2008 in Aspen Grove, Utah
We had so much fun this past week with Marshall's family in Aspen Grove. Beautiful and cool mountain scenery with all sorts of activities. The best part of the trip was all the food being provided in a dining hall and age appropriate classes for the kids during the day. Anna loved her leaders Alan and Mikelle and went on all sorts of adventures. They had pirate day, hiking day (where they saw a bull moose), and animal day. She even had the chance to climb up a rock climbing wall. Rachel enjoyed her classes too with her teachers Ashley and Kim. They had pirate day, western day, and hiking day too, plus everyone got to go swimming with their classes. Even Jimmy liked his teachers and looked forward to playing with them.
Since the kids were entertained during the days, the adults could relax! We played games, went to the temple as a family, napped, did a Murder Mystery, and had a ball. It was great and the perfect vacation! The only bummer was that I got sick on the last day and am still recovering. Boo on that!
We also had fun at the family dance, family sports competition, and Western Night. They had all sorts of games set up with a western theme, like hatchet throwing, feather tossing, gold panning, bottle shooting (with toy guns for the kids), Indian stories. Plus train rides and free snow cones. It was a blast!
Now it's back to reality. Though I am glad that I don't have to walk outside to the bathroom in the middle of the night or take a shower with my bug friends. I am sure the kids will miss bunking in our cabin and playing with their cousins. We had so much fun! It was a great vacation! Thank you Granddad and Grandma! 
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Friday, August 1, 2008
I love Provo
It's funny how absence makes the heart grow founder. This will be my last blog for a week because we are heading up north for a family reunion in Aspen Grove. I can't tell you how excited I am to go back to Provo and walk around BYU campus on our way to the reunion. I have so many fond memories of BYU. Every fall I get "home sick" for Lavell Edwards Stadium and the changing colors of trees on the mountains.
But it's funny because when we were living there, I was ready to get out of Provo and away from BYU. It seemed like an eternity until my husband would finish his schooling. I came to hate our little apartment and wanted to move on. If you told me I would one day look back at that time with fondness, I would have laughed at you. Now I see all the fun times we had and muse at all the oddities of our very old and unique apartment. I love BYU and all the time I spent there. It was a big changing point for me in my life. I figured out who I was and where I wanted to be going. And I met my husband there. However, I don't think I would love it as much if I didn't have the chance to move on and put some space between myself and that time.
The same formula applies to law school. I thought we would never finish school and get out of Valpo. We had three kids in a small second story two bedroom apartment. Ah! I wanted to get out of the student mode and move on! But I look back at the time we spent in Valpo with fondness because we are no longer there, scraping by and unsure about what the future holds.
So as I get ready to go to Provo this week, I am excited. Not only for a family vacation, but also to see a place that holds a lot of special memories for me. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
But it's funny because when we were living there, I was ready to get out of Provo and away from BYU. It seemed like an eternity until my husband would finish his schooling. I came to hate our little apartment and wanted to move on. If you told me I would one day look back at that time with fondness, I would have laughed at you. Now I see all the fun times we had and muse at all the oddities of our very old and unique apartment. I love BYU and all the time I spent there. It was a big changing point for me in my life. I figured out who I was and where I wanted to be going. And I met my husband there. However, I don't think I would love it as much if I didn't have the chance to move on and put some space between myself and that time.
The same formula applies to law school. I thought we would never finish school and get out of Valpo. We had three kids in a small second story two bedroom apartment. Ah! I wanted to get out of the student mode and move on! But I look back at the time we spent in Valpo with fondness because we are no longer there, scraping by and unsure about what the future holds.
So as I get ready to go to Provo this week, I am excited. Not only for a family vacation, but also to see a place that holds a lot of special memories for me. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
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