Reflections on a tub

This morning I had the chance to scrub our two bathroom tubs, a rare experience for me. You see, scrubbing tubs is Marshall's chore. It all started when I was pregnant with Jacob and got too large to bend over comfortably. Ever since then it has just stuck as his chore. Every Saturday morning when we clean the bathrooms, Marshall scrubs the tubs. Today he was at Fathers & Sons, waking up from a night of uncomfortable sleep with two very excited boys, and so I took it upon myself to do his chore.

The first thing I noticed was the soap scum and dirt marks randomly found on both shower walls. I had to laugh at the literal way men's minds work and then had cause for reflection. Marshall knows he is to scrub the tubs every week and so he does . . . just the tubs. If I wanted him to also include the shower walls and tub ledges, I need to specify that in the chore, but I just say scrub the tubs and so he does just that. Now granted, I am very grateful for his help in chores. We both think dads should be involved in the housework because it shows the kids that Mom and Dad work together and that guys do chores too. Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking that at all. It was amusing because in my mind, I assume scrubbing the tubs also includes the whole showering/ tub area. For him, it just means the actual tub.

It got me thinking about the differences between men and women. Guys are so literal and will do exactly what you tell them. Women will do what you tell them and so much more, like clean the entire bathroom, organize the shampoo, and place fresh flowers on the vanity. Women are detail people. Guys are not. And you know what, that is okay!

Newly married and not-so-newly-married Sue used to get frustrated because Marshall didn't realize that by saying one thing, I also meant two more things along with that one thing. Or that he didn't just know what I needed after a bad day or hold me exactly at the right time or in the right way. Then Sue clued in that guys aren't just hairy girlfriends. Guys are different and it is what makes them different that makes them so loveable. Truly, it is. I would murder someone if my husband was just another sister spirit in male form. Blood would run.

Now I can laugh when I see the tubs scrubbed and soap scum on the shower wall. I try to not get annoyed when I have to specify to my husband what kind of emotional or loving support I need from him. Guys want us women to be happy, they just don't know how a lot of the time because we are so complex. So instead of getting all upset over it, we should just tell them what we want, even if that means saying something like, "I would really like it if you cuddle with me on the couch with your arms around me and my head on your chest." If you have your heart set on flowers for your birthday, tell him instead of setting him up for failure because he could not guess your desires and got you chocolates instead. Both parties will be happy, you because your needs are being exactly met, him because he is making you happy just the way you want, which is all he wants to do. You just made his job a million times easier and reduced his stress of having to guess. And when guys make their simple requests for affection or affirmation, it means just that, nothing more! Crazy, right?!

I love how men and women are different. Life would be so boring otherwise. I love that I found only the tubs cleaned in our bathrooms. Did I mind scrubbing the shower walls? No. I'm glad I have a husband who does his chores regularly without complaint. I am glad he is so literal and not just like me. I am glad we have such an open relationship that we can communicate our needs so both of us can be happy. Who knew scrubbing a tub would cause so much deep reflection?

What ever happened to . . .

Michael Moore? His name popped in my head the other day and I reflected on how he has been much more reserved these past few years.  I wonder if there is a correlation between the volume of his opinions and our current U.S. President. It seems the sound has, if possible, gone down. Amazing!

Remember "Farenheit 9/11"? Talk about some whacked ideas of one very disturbed not so little man. And yet how his tune has change now that Obama is in office. Quotiong Moore concerning Obama and our country,  "... Obama will rise or fall based not so much on what he does but on what we do to support him."

President Bush failed because he was best pals with Osama Bin Laden, having numerous late night chat sessions together trying to figure out how to best ruin America. Never could one man have done so much to destroy our country. It wasn't the terrorists, it was all President Bush. All. He had the fate of the country in his hands, like some Greek god bent on destruction.

But President Obama, now that is a different story. He's a good guy and he is trying his best. If his plans and work flop, it's not his fault. We, the people, are to blame. You know, because we have such great power to have our voices to be heard. We keep pushing for our country to get further into debt. We keep destroying the job market and have been the cause of the drop in the housing market. All us. Poor President Obama is just a good guy trying to pull all us together. If we just followed his vision, we'd all be happy and secure.

Someone get me a shovel because I am knee deep in some pretty smelly stuff. No wonder I haven't heard much from Michael Moore lately. He likes Obama. Huh? Wonder what we'll hear from him come election time.

Fall Time

What I love about Fall-

• Fresh apples. Apple pie, crisp, cider, caramel apples and anything else you can do with an apple.
• Halloween
• Decorating for Halloween
• Thanksgiving
• Pie for Thanksgiving
• Thanksgiving leftovers
• Leaves changing colors
• The smell of a fire going in a fire place
• The smell of leaves burning
• Keeping my windows open and allowing fresh air to waft through the house
• Being able to play outside at all times of the day
• See's Pumpkin Pie Truffles
• Hot chocolate
• Pumpkin ice cream
• The excitement of the holidays
• Jumping in piles of leaves
• Rain
• Soup
• BYU Football
• Have a cute hubby to snuggle up to

What I don't like about Fall (and they are few)-

• Election signs EVERYWHERE
• Leaves being tracked inside
• Dark mornings and nights. Just make me want to go to bed or stay in bed. Zzzzz.
• All the Halloween and Thanksgiving treats have calories. For rude!
• Missing my parents on Thanksgiving

Stolen Innocence

 I recently finished reading "Stolen Innocence" by Elissa Wall.  I have read books in the past about women who have escaped from the FLDS, but never about one who recently fled and, especially, during the Warren Jeff's reign. Wow.

I was amazed at how much the people of the FLDS were devoted to Jeff's even when there were times they wanted to question his actions, but no one had the courage to speak up and out. I was blown away at Jeff's doctrine and how he would rewrite the philosophy of his church and nature itself to fit his own desires. Families being town apart and being assigned to different fathers and husbands. The heartache, the trust, the deception.

Elissa Wall was assigned to marry her first cousin at the young tender age of fourteen. She struggled to accept the prophet's will as she fought with her own feelings of doubt. To be forced into such a union and suffer such abuse and ignorance. I admit, I was so happy for when she found her strength, along with the support of her current husband, to leave behind that world of pain and confusion.  Although it was a trial to adjust to life on the outside, she and her husband did it. She fought against Warren Jeffs and her "first husband" with the court to find justice, which she did. What an amazing journey to see this young girl use her voice to finally triumph over her demons.