Reflections on a tub

This morning I had the chance to scrub our two bathroom tubs, a rare experience for me. You see, scrubbing tubs is Marshall's chore. It all started when I was pregnant with Jacob and got too large to bend over comfortably. Ever since then it has just stuck as his chore. Every Saturday morning when we clean the bathrooms, Marshall scrubs the tubs. Today he was at Fathers & Sons, waking up from a night of uncomfortable sleep with two very excited boys, and so I took it upon myself to do his chore.

The first thing I noticed was the soap scum and dirt marks randomly found on both shower walls. I had to laugh at the literal way men's minds work and then had cause for reflection. Marshall knows he is to scrub the tubs every week and so he does . . . just the tubs. If I wanted him to also include the shower walls and tub ledges, I need to specify that in the chore, but I just say scrub the tubs and so he does just that. Now granted, I am very grateful for his help in chores. We both think dads should be involved in the housework because it shows the kids that Mom and Dad work together and that guys do chores too. Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking that at all. It was amusing because in my mind, I assume scrubbing the tubs also includes the whole showering/ tub area. For him, it just means the actual tub.

It got me thinking about the differences between men and women. Guys are so literal and will do exactly what you tell them. Women will do what you tell them and so much more, like clean the entire bathroom, organize the shampoo, and place fresh flowers on the vanity. Women are detail people. Guys are not. And you know what, that is okay!

Newly married and not-so-newly-married Sue used to get frustrated because Marshall didn't realize that by saying one thing, I also meant two more things along with that one thing. Or that he didn't just know what I needed after a bad day or hold me exactly at the right time or in the right way. Then Sue clued in that guys aren't just hairy girlfriends. Guys are different and it is what makes them different that makes them so loveable. Truly, it is. I would murder someone if my husband was just another sister spirit in male form. Blood would run.

Now I can laugh when I see the tubs scrubbed and soap scum on the shower wall. I try to not get annoyed when I have to specify to my husband what kind of emotional or loving support I need from him. Guys want us women to be happy, they just don't know how a lot of the time because we are so complex. So instead of getting all upset over it, we should just tell them what we want, even if that means saying something like, "I would really like it if you cuddle with me on the couch with your arms around me and my head on your chest." If you have your heart set on flowers for your birthday, tell him instead of setting him up for failure because he could not guess your desires and got you chocolates instead. Both parties will be happy, you because your needs are being exactly met, him because he is making you happy just the way you want, which is all he wants to do. You just made his job a million times easier and reduced his stress of having to guess. And when guys make their simple requests for affection or affirmation, it means just that, nothing more! Crazy, right?!

I love how men and women are different. Life would be so boring otherwise. I love that I found only the tubs cleaned in our bathrooms. Did I mind scrubbing the shower walls? No. I'm glad I have a husband who does his chores regularly without complaint. I am glad he is so literal and not just like me. I am glad we have such an open relationship that we can communicate our needs so both of us can be happy. Who knew scrubbing a tub would cause so much deep reflection?