Monday, December 29, 2008

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas!



Merry Christmas! We hope you all have a safe, healthy, and happy Christmas. And remember the real reason for the season, the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. What an incredible gift that knwoledge is to us all!

And as a side note, I won't be writing any time soon as on Friday I am going to be induced and have my own little miracle!

Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Blagojevich Revisited

You all know how much I love Governor Rod Blagojevich of Illinois. Like I mentioned in my previous blog about him, I saw him a lot on the news when we lived in Indiana, a part of "Chicagoland". I didn't like the man. We all know why he is in trouble and my hopes have come true that he is continuing to prove himself a raving idiot.

Now if you were a leader caught doing something naughty and the whole country knew, would you 1)admit your wrong and gracefully step down from office or 2)deny it ever happened and cling to your power kicking and screaming? It's a hard choice, I know, so take your time to ponder.

Last night I was watching the news and heard the latest on our friend who states "I have done nothing wrong. I will fight until my last breath." Now remember we are talking about him being caught trying to sell Obama's Senate seat. I am beginning to wonder if the daily ritual in Blagojevich's office is to smoke their morning pot along with drinking their morning coffee. Or maybe he lives in a world called "opposite land". Better yet, perhaps he is just stark raving mad. I can't decide which it is. I guess I need to check up on my laws, but I always thought trying to sell a Senate seat was a bad thing. It reminds me of my favorite quote from Frost/Nixon, which is about Watergate (and no I haven't seen it because it is rated "R"), by President Nixon, "I didn't say it wasn't illegal. It's just not illegal when the President does it." Once again, I needed that clarification because I thought laws applied to everyone. Whew! I guess I need to be on a power trip to be above the law.

As for "fighting until my last breath", stop being so dramatic Rod. We're not talking about you having a good cause to fight for. Sweetie, this isn't some Holy Crusade. This is about kicking your corrupt butt out of office for failing to live up to your duties as governor by your illegal actions. Don't tell me you've always tried to serve the people. I didn't know the people have been begging you to sell off a Senate seat for your own profit. Just give up! You're beat, my friend.

But see, I was right. I said he wouldn't go down without a fight. And he is continuing to amaze us all with his witty and logical reasoning. What will he do next? Oh how boring this world would be if we didn't have corrupt politicians!

Monday, December 22, 2008

The Perfect Picture

Jimmy came home from Nursery yesterday with a Christmas card they had made for him. I love the card because the picture is all Jimmy, my sweet little guy, when he is not defending the world from bad guys. It's so adorable. Looking at it makes me want to scoop him up and cover him in kisses.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

The Blessing of Old Carpet

Our house is eleven years old and I love it. I never dreamed my first house, especially in St. George, would be so nice. There may be things I would change, as with any house, but overall I just love my home. Except every Saturday when I vacuum I am reminded of how much I hate the old carpet in the toy room, stairs, and upstairs. I am sure the carpet is as old as the house. And for some reason it is a light beige, which is just a silly choice especially when people actually dare to live in the home. Needless to say, there are quite a few stains on the carpet. I notice them every time I vacuum and it bugs me. One day my dream is to get the rest of the house carpeted like the family and living room. But for now I just "suffer".

As I was vacuuming this week and noticing a few more marks from the kids on the carpet, I started to let myself get annoyed. Then a thought popped into my head "At least you have carpet and in your OWN home." It made me think. This is true. I was focusing on one little part about my house that bugged me and was missing out on the bigger blessing. I mean who doesn't have a few marks on their carpet and if so, who cares? The story of getting our house is surely a blessing and I can't say when it began because I am sure the Lord was preparing us for years to be where we are in life.

I'll start after law school so as to spare you the rest. We had been renting in St. George for a little less than a year and saw no reason to move. We had planned on renting for some time to save up for a house. But then my husband got a bug in his pants about house hunting. He thought we should start and I said "Okay." It was a completely scary process for me (because hello, buying a house is a huge investment), but I trusted my husband's answer to prayers. We found a great house that was nicer than we had hoped for and made an offer. It all worked out for us so that we were able to get the home. Some work needed to be done, especially on the yard, but nothing major. We didn't know at the time that the economy would be struggling so much in the future over house loans and then later bailouts. Had we waited a few months, we probably wouldn't have been able to get the financing we did and be able to buy a house. But we did. And we had no idea my husband would be called as bishop since a new bishop was put in the week before we moved in. Who would have imagined the blessings this calling has brought to our family? It is overwhelming to see how the Lord got us to be where we are, where He needed us to be.

And here I am grumbling about carpet. I think sometimes we forget the bigger picture, the greater blessings in our lives. We get focused on something not being just right and forget the blessings we do have. Being nine months pregnant is very uncomfortable, but I am so blessed to be able to bring life into this world and take part of that sacred process. Or what about our bodies? We complain about them not being perfect, but we have bodies and for the most part they work! Who cares if we don't meet some societal standard, we have a body! We're living and fulfilling our divine destiny! Isn't that an amazing miracle in itself?

Sometimes we just miss the big picture. This can be applied to any aspect of life. I often imagine the Lord smacking his hand against his head and saying "When is she going to get it? When will she stop whining and see the big picture?" Thank goodness He is perfect and, therefore, patient and loving despite my blindness. We are all so very blessed. We just need to overlook the little snags in life, like old carpet, and recognize what blessings we do have.

Friday, December 19, 2008

My Twelve Days of Christmas

"The Twelve Days of Christmas" by Lee Greenwood is a fun song, but I often find it annoying. And it's really not practical for my needs. I really don't want a bunch of noisy stinky birds, men leaping around in tights, milk maids, rings, and all sorts of loud chaos. If my "true love" really loved me, he'd know better. So I came up with my own version of the song, one I find more practical to my needs and one I can only dream of coming true.

On the first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A Jimmy using big boy undies

On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.

On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five rotating personal chefs,
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six 24 hour maids,
Five rotating personal chefs,
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven weekly dates,
Six 24 hour maids,
Five rotating personal chefs,
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight perfectly fitting bras,
Seven weekly dates,
Six 24 hour maids,
Five rotating personal chefs,
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine personal trainers,
Eight perfectly fitting bras,
Seven weekly dates,
Six 24 hour maids,
Five rotating personal chefs,
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten pounds less of baby weight,
Nine personal trainers,
Eight perfectly fitting bras,
Seven weekly dates,
Six 24 hour maids,
Five rotating personal chefs,
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven days at Disneyland,
Ten pounds less of baby weight,
Nine personal trainers,
Eight perfectly fitting bras,
Seven weekly dates,
Six 24 hour maids,
Five rotating personal chefs,
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve hours of undisturbed sleep,
Eleven days at Disneyland,
Ten pounds less of baby weight,
Nine personal trainers,
Eight perfectly fitting bras,
Seven weekly dates,
Six 24 hour maids,
Five rotating personal chefs,
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Snow Day!!!!

No school today because of the snow we got last night, something like 3-5 inches. Not normal for St. George. It's the first snow day in ten years, or so the paper says. Anna is very excited and finally got to make her real snowman. She was the last one outside playing. We were able to have a little nowball fight. poor kid just wanted someone to alst ourside with her, but her siblings and 9 month pregnant mom just aren't super fun.




Jimmy also had a blast running around in the snow. He even tried to ride his bike before he got stuck in snow.



Rachel, the girl with no fat, lasted only a few minutes. She came inside screaming that she was cold and so now is huddled under a blanket. Good thing we don't get snow often!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Moron Alert

I love people, especially stupid people who shoot off their mouths without having all the facts. In Tuesday's paper there was a wonderful "Letter to the Editor" that echoed this genius at work. The man writing in was condemning the LDS for it's hypocritical actions of fighting against Proposition 8 in California, but then ignoring the obvious problems in the "Mormon community" in regards to the polygamists. The following is an except of this so well thought out argument:

"I realize that the LDS church is probably the most powerful, wealthy and influential single entity in the state of Utah. But to use the guise of their "moral convictions" to determine any citizen's right to marry is outrageous. I have yet to see or hear of any campaign from the LDS church to apply their moral righteousness to the blatant illegal and immoral activity within the Mormon community itself. The LDS church obviously has no problem with the common FLDS practice of middle-aged men sexually abusing children; taking several underage girls as their "spiritual" wives and condemning them to life-long servitude. Instead, it chooses to impose it's "moral standard" to deny marriage rights to adults of the same sex. What hypocrisy."

Hello, moron, try checking your facts first. The LDS church has no association with the FLDS church, therefore, why is it the LDS church's sole responsibility to oust the FLDS from practice? I admit I am not an expert on the history of what has been done to stop the polygamists. I know about government raids in the past, etc. But to put the whole blame on the LDS church for the existence of the FLDS church seems asinine. If this gentleman had tried to learn a little bit about the LDS doctrine, he would see that such behavior by the FLDS is in strong contradiction to our LDS beliefs. Don't tell me that my church has no problem with the practice that goes on in the FLDS church. I didn't know polygamy existed until I moved to southern Utah. I was horrified to find out that people still practice it and think it is a heavenly mandate. The first time I saw a polygamist, I was taken aback. I grew up around Amish and Mennonite people and they were always so kind and friendly towards us "English". They are a happy loving people. But these oddly dressed folks in southern Utah who separated themselves from the rest did not seem at all friendly or happy. It was baffling to me. I am still trying to bend my mind around the whole concept. And every LDS person I have talked to about it has felt the same as me towards this horrible practice. So you're wrong Mister in thinking we have "no problem" with this issue. The LDS church makes all the effort it can to disassociate itself from these people.

As for condoning child and spousal abuse, I don't think so. My husband is a bishop and as such people come to see him to repent of various sins. These are things he keeps confidential between himself and the said person. However, in the case of abuse, he has to inform the proper authorities. There is no tolerance for such things in the LDS church. Get your facts straight, buddy.

"No, I am not Mormon and not gay. I am a 63-year-old Vietnam veteran and was raised in a loving Christian home. I was taught to respect the personal religious beliefs of any individual and that I had no right to impose my beliefs on anyone."

Good for you for not being Mormon or gay. As for being a Vietnam vet, what is the point of mentioning that? You know, you fought in a war that created a lot of controversy. By going and fighting you were taking a stand for something you believed in.

I too respect the personal religious beliefs of others. And the last time I checked there wasn't any requirement to go to the temple that included verbally or physically attacking any who believed different than me. What happened in California concerning the church was our ability to exercise our rights to practice free speech and stand up for what we believe in. We did not use violent means. And the majority of the voters who did vote for Proposition 8 were not LDS. So please, check your facts.

I know I shouldn't get so worked up over someone so stupid, but sometimes I can't help it. I don't like it when people tell me what I believe or that I should be ashamed because I allow something like polygamy to go on. Not true. Plus my writing material would be far less if there weren't idiots in the world like this guy. I know, not everyone has the blessing of a functioning brain, but still I think it wise to have some facts before shooting off one's mouth.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Gingerbread Men Fun

Last night for part of our FHE we decorated gingerbread men. It's a favorite tradition in our home. Lots of frosting, sprinkles, and candy were involved. Rachel and Anna even made "Baby Jacob" gingerbread men. It was great!



Marshall's quick on the draw to avoid any more sprinkles on Jimmy's part. The more sugar the merrier!




Look at that sugar high waiting to happen!

Snow!

Yesterday it snowed all day. It didn't amount to much, but the kids still had fun and got to drink lots of hot chocolate. Rachel did declare by the end of the day that she was ready for the snow to be gone becuase it was too cold. We are such wimps!



This is what we call a St. George snowman because he's vertically challenged due to teh lack of snow. Still Anna made a good attempt to make him.



Excited to see snow!

Monday, December 15, 2008

The True Trial

We all have different trials we experience in life. Addictions, depression, financial loss, familial loss, infertility, inactive family members, divorce, long-term illness, etc. The list could go on and on of all the possible trials we can experience in this mortal existence. But I believe the greatest challenge we undergo is how we allow these earthly trials to shape the person we become. The ability to take the good that we gain from surviving such trials and pushing aside the bitter feelings that can result from such experiences. I have seen too many people consumed by their hardships until they become bitter and unkind people. They are left to stand alone and they are miserable for it.

I remember sitting around with a group of mothers once and hearing one talk about how she had the hardest time keeping up with her child's laundry. She had only one child, but was having difficulty with all the clothes her daughter went through. I was a bit shocked when another mother replied "Oh that's nothing. Wait until you have four kids. Then you'll see." This response made it seem like the young mother's feelings were invalid. How dare she complain because she only had one child. She didn't really know what it was like to be overwhelmed by laundry. The rest of us in the group were a little taken aback. Since then I've tried to not belittle someone else's feelings regardless of their situation. I have three kids now, but I remember feeling very overwhelmed with one child at times. I'm not about to tell an exhausted mother of one that she can't complain because she has no idea how "it really is".

The same applies to trials. I think the human part of us wants to hold on to bitterness and declare to those around us "You don't have it as bad as I do! You don't know what it is like so anything you say is invalid or insensitive because you aren't walking in my shoes." True, I don't know what it is like to deal with certain trials like poor health or drug addictions. I don't know what it feels like to go through infertility treatment or to have a parent die at a young age. But I try to have compassion for such people and hope they will have it for me in my struggles.

For the longest time I had a chip on my shoulder when it came to the experiences I had had growing up. I had a crazy childhood with inactive divorced parents and my mom going through various relationships. It sure as heck shaped me into one bitter angst filled young woman who hated men and was extremely jealous of those families I saw sitting together in church on Sundays. I used to think "They have no idea how lucky they are! They don't know my pain! It's not fair!" But finally, through the Atonement, I was able to see that these feelings of bitterness weren't helping me. They were turning me into a hardened person with little compassion and that wasn't who I wanted to be. Had these people done anything wrong to merit my jealousy? No, they just were blessed in ways I wasn't. But I failed to have compassion and love for them. I took it personally, which was silly because their blessings had nothing to do with me.

It was only through the Atonement that I was able to gain understanding and leave the bitter behind. The Savior does know all and can succor us because of who He is. We can turn to Him during our trials and seek strength, love, and comfort from Him, even when we feel all alone. And He will bless us to overcome. We will rise victorious over our trials if we put Him first. He will put people in our lives who can help us be strong. He will enable us to learn the good from our trials and leave the bitter behind so that we can become better people and better be able to succor those around us. I know if I had never learned to let go of my hurt feelings from my past I would have been dwarfed spiritually, never being able to attempt to reach my full potential. Of course, i am not always perfect at pushing aside those feelings. They can still be triggered at times. But the more I turn to the Savior and look to Him to make me whole, the less I struggle and the more I triumph.

Put the shoes down!

I read in the paper today about President Bush being attacked by a protester during a news conference in Iraq. Said protester yelled in Arabic, "This is your farewell kiss, you dog!" and then hurled a pair of size 10 shoes at the President. Luckily, Bush ducked and the shoes hit a wall instead. Obviously, this man wasn't a fan of Bush's war policy in Iraq.

I am all for people being able to speak their minds and have an opinion that differs from mine. That is fine. But what I have a hard time with is people who try to get their views across by violent means. "I hate President Bush and his war in my country so I am going to throw shoes at him!" Yes, that'll teach him! Granted, shoes are probably the only "weapon" this guy could get close to the President, but still it sounds ridiculous.

I love discussing differing opinions on a wide range of subjects with people. I always come away learning something. But when someone starts acting up it kind of turns my mind off to what they are trying to say. For example, after Proposition 8 was passed in California, there were mass protests that involved violence, destruction of property, and just pure hatred. Yeah, I am really going to listen to you argument and deem you a rational person as you fling hate filled insults at me while spray painting my house. I don't think so. Any chance you had at getting my attention and having me treat you like a dignified human being left the moment you picked up that can of spray paint. Don't these protesters understand that once they turn to violent means people pretty much don't listen to what they have to say and rather see them as irrational jerks? Probably not because most of these people are too filled with hate. If I were the President, chucking a pair fo shoes at my head won't make me reconsider the war.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had the right idea when it came to non-violent protests. It was kind of hard to ignore the message that was being conveyed by the protesters. They did it peacefully and it turned out that the police ended up looking like the bad guys. People started to reconsider and really think about the way black people were treated. The same applies for the persecution for the early Saints. Sure, people didn't like the church, but many were amazed at the perseverance of it's members. "Will these people never give up their cause?" No. And because the Saints stuck it out and did so quietly, they were able to eventually flourish and remain strong. How damaging it would have been to early Church it they returned the abuse unleashed upon them back to their abusers. Nothing would have been accomplished.

If you want me to listen to your point of view don't come running at me with hate filled words, spray paint, or shoes. Act like a rational and semi-intelligent human being and then perhaps I will treat you like one.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Those Sweet Reminders

Christmas is always a tough time of year for kids. The anticipation of waiting for Santa to come. Trying extra hard to be good. Acting out because it seems like Christmas morning will NEVER come. It's hard being a kid. Add to that the excitement and craziness of waiting for a baby to come and you've pretty much summed up our house.

It seems to me that my kids have lost the ability to say "please". Tantrums from the younger two are more apparent. Disobedience seems to abound. Fighting is daily. Sometimes I get so frustrated with the kids, but then I have to try and remember things from their perspective. They have a lot going on in their lives right now. Their world is about the change forever and they are not sure what all that entails. Mom is tired and sore a lot, her patience is less, and she can't do all the fun things she used to. Dad just finished tithing settlement and has been busy going to work at early early hours to get in as much time before the baby comes. Mom and Dad are both anxious and excited for the big change too, which means they tend to overreact at times.

That is why I am so grateful for people outside of our home who constantly tell me what good kids I have. I know my children are good people, I just need to be reminded of that at times. I know I overreact at times and think they are just being monsters, but overall they are great kids. They have their bad moments like anyone and right now they have a lot going on. Christmas is coming, baby is due to arrive whenever, and Dad is busy being bishop. That's a lot for them. I think they've handled it all so well.

I also enjoy those little tender moments when I see what good people they are becoming. Wednesday I took the kids to the store to get the baby's car seat. We also ended up picking out presents for the baby too. The kids have been begging to buy presents for "Baby Jacob". They had so much fun looking at baby toys and making their selections. They made plans for playing with the baby. They are just so excited to meet him and love him. And they try their best to help out mom when she is too tired or sore to do much. They look out for me. On Monday night we had the Relief Society president stopped by for a quick chat with Marshall. The kids all know her because she stops by a lot seeing as how she is the bishop's right hand woman. Anna heard part of their conversation and asked if everything was all right. Marshall told her that they were just talking about some people who may not have money to buy Christmas presents. Anna's immediate response was "Well, we can use some of our money to buy presents for them!" I am often reminded how sweet my children are.

Even though this time of year is hard for them with Christmas and the baby coming, they are doing their best. They are precious little children who brighten my life daily with their creativity and sense of humor. I would be so void without them and I would not be a better person if it wasn't for all they teach me. I am grateful for each of their personalities and the flavor they bring to our home. And I am proud of them for being such great kids.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Another Political "Genius"


I always admire people who don't give up without a fight, but there are times when one should "throw in the towel", especially if that one was caught doing illegal activities and arrested for said activities. Not that I am referring to anyone in particular, Governor Rod Blagojevich, or anything like that. Not at all.

I remember Governor Blagojevich from when we lived in Indiana and I didn't like him then. But you have to admit that he has a fun name to say. As long as you get the "Bl" and "vich" in there you can add whatever letters you want in the middle and people will think you know his name. It's great. Try it!

But I digress. Blagojevich had a promising career. He was young and charismatic. People liked him. But the poor governor was lacking one thing, brains. Now I am not saying all politicians are smart, but those who are corrupt at least know to practice some discretion in their dealings. Not Gov. Blagojevich. Maybe he missed that training course, "How to Cheat and get away with it 101" taught by the Daley family, held in Chicago for all shady politicians. He was recently charged and arrested for trying to sell President-Elect Obama's Senate seat to the highest bidder,not to mention all the other illegal activities the Feds found him involved with.

Now here is where Blagojevich genius' shines through. He knew the Feds were tracking his calls and trying to catch him in the act. But he still did his wheelin' and
dealin' when it came to the Senate seat. He was blatantly obvious about it. Not the sharpest tool in the shed. Some critics wonder if they man is sane or just really really stupid. What was he thinking? That he wouldn't get caught? And he was only asking for $300,000 for the seat, which is another mind blower. Dude, if you're going to try to sell something like a Senate seat and risk getting caught, demand more money. It's baffling. Is there anyone awake upstairs in that man's head? Not to mention his refusal now to step down from power. Yes, that's right, people are trying to disassociate themselves from Blagojevich at the speed of light and avoid being linked to his political suicide, but the man refuses to step down as Governor. No, it's much better to pretend that nothing happened and go on with business as usual. Yeah, see how that one works out for you Rod.

The bottom line is he got caught and he needs to come to a little place I call reality and deal with his stupidity. Ignoring the problem won't make it go away. It would be much wiser to quietly step down from office and admit defeat. This is one of those times when fighting to the bitter end isn't going to work. Dude, you were caught. Everyone knows what you did. But hey, just think how much more interesting it'll be now that he's decided to hang on to his power. What new level of genius will Gov. Blagojevich unveil to the country? One can only wait to see!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

What will they think of next?

I was having my usual Tuesday night fun of playing around on the Internet while my husband was at church when I came across this very disturbing article in Newsweek about gay marriage and the Bible. The author is obviously pro-gay marriage and writes about how the Bible is not a good guideline for marriage. All the funky Bible marriage examples are cited, like the having of numerous wives, Jacob, Leah, and Rebbecca, and even a reference to how King David may have been gay. It's also mentioned about how Paul looked down upon marriage as a last resort to control one's passion and that even the Savior himself was single and taught that family wasn't very important. Who in their right mind would use the Bible to justify marriage between a man and woman? Who would even want a Bible type marriage? (or so the author argues).

Wow! I think I am still trying to comprehend this article. It's like watching a car accident unfold in front of you and think "Did I just see that? Can't be." I still am a little dumb struck by this author's article because I can't believe it. There are so many points he makes that fire me up and make me want to cringe at the same time.

But I will say this, thank goodness for a living prophet. Thank goodness for the Book of Mormon. And praise be given for modern revelation. How confusing it must be to think the heavens are closed and all one has to rely on for knowledge is the Bible with all it's various corruption. A book that people can take and use to show it's support on either side of the gay marriage issue. I know where I stand because I've heard it many times from the prophet that marriage is between a man and woman. That's a pretty simple statement and hard to make pro-gay marriage. People can try to justify their leaning otherwise, but the truth is obvious. Um, unless you're an idiot or completely lost the spirit, there's no room for interpretation about what "marriage between a man and woman" means. Okay?

I am so glad I know the truth. I am so glad I have all the above mentioned gifts in my life. There is no guessing, I know. So even when I read disturbing articles like this one, I can say "Wow! This is an interesting twist, but I'm not buying it" and move on. You can read the article and tell me what you think. And hopefully you'll also come out being grateful for the fact that the heavens are opened to us and we do know the truth.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/172653/page/1
(sorry about having to cut and paste, but the link option is being goofy)

The Great Debate

To bottle feed or breast feed? There are lots of information on both sides that point to the benefits of both, but only bottle feeding seems to have a negative connotation associated with it. I used to think "breast was best" thanks to my brain washing by the La Leche League, but then I had my third child and the experience changed my opinion on formula.

I had had no problem feeding my first two babies, but for some reason Jimmy and I never clicked. It wasn't the same. And he had thrush really bad, which made nursing him stressful for both of us. Then at two weeks he spent a few days in the hospital due to some random virus. I tried to pump and keep up with him, but I just couldn't and lost my supply. I finally gave up and decided to bottle feed him.

Oh what a struggle that was! I felt like such a failure as a mom. I worried we wouldn't be able to bond the same as I had with my other babies. I feared that he wouldn't be as healthy if he had formula. But then we started on the bottle and I loved it! All the stress that had been there was gone. I knew he was getting food and so feedings were an enjoyable experience for us both. I've never been one of those women who just loves to breast feed and secretly I was relieved that pressure was gone. I felt like I could enjoy my baby more and relax.

Now with number four approaching, I am dealing with the great debate about how to feed. My husband says I should do what is best for me and not worry what others think. And he is right. But I am also a woman and so have that whole guilt thing going on. Deep down I really think I want to bottle feed. Last time it was such an enjoyable and happy situation. I did not feel the stress I did with breast feeding my other children. Plus it gave us all the chance to take turns feeding. But then I also feel guilty if I don't at least trying to breast feed. Plus, bottle feeding is more expensive than the alternative. And what will other people think of me? Stupid, right? But I've known people to look down their noses at moms who choose the bottle. But then bottle feeding will make my life so much easier now with my husband in such high demand in his calling.

Who knows what I'll do? All I know is that I want to do what is best for me and the baby. I want to be able to enjoy him and not feel any stress or pressure. I just need to decide and be proud of my decision and ability to make wise choices for me and my baby. And I need to ignore any guilt I feel either way. Now to decide . . .

Monday, December 8, 2008

To Know

Yesterday I had the opportunity to share my testimony in Fast and Testimony meeting at church. Always a great feat, but we didn't have too much drama in the process. Jimmy came up with me and Rachel soon followed. But then Jimmy went back down to sit with beloved Darci. Not too bad.

I felt inspired to bare testimony about the Gospel being true and because I know it is true I know my purpose in life, I know my worth, and I know what is expected of me. I have been feeling overwhelming gratitude for that knowledge. I didn't realize how much of an impact my sharing that would have on others. I had quite a few people come up to me and thank me for saying that. The idea of knowing who we are resonated with them.

I've been thinking about this whole idea and pondering it as of late. Do we really know how blessed we are to have that knowledge given to us through the Gospel? The big questions in life seem to be "Who am I?", "Where am I going?", and "Do I matter?". The gospel of Jesus Christ answers that all for us. By living it we know who we are, children of God with incredible worth and potential to do good. As a stay-at-home mom the world would have me think that I am some frumpy defeated person who gave up on trying to do something with my life and settled for struggling amidst piles of laundry and screaming children. Not so! I am doing the most important work I can be. I am sacrificing whatever personal plans I may have had for myself to raise my children. I am giving up everything to be at home with my kids so that I can help them become good people and live in truth and righteousness. I am bringing forth the next generation of adults who will help make the world better through their righteous living. That is no small task. And I know that because I have the Gospel in my life.

Because I know the work I do as a mom is important, I know where I am going. I know what is expected of me. I have direction in my life. Living without some course to follow, some structure, only leads to self destruction and misery. But I know where I am heading, I know what I want out of life,and where I want to end up. And I know how to get there thanks to the scriptures, prayer, temples, prophets, and local leaders. I know how I am doing and I know when I need to correct myself to stay on course. How simple is that?!

And since I know all of the above, I also am aware of my great worth and potential. By doing a miraculous work in my home and knowing how to accomplish my goals in life, I feel happy and know of my great worth. It's a wonderful cycle. The more I live my life according the the Gospel, which is what I want, the greater peace and joy I feel in my life. I may have moments where I feel overwhelmed or doubt my worth, but they never last long because I keep trying to do my best and am blessed for it. I am not deceived by the world, but can be happy for who I am despite what society tells me. I stand on a strong foundation that cannot be destroyed.

We are truly blessed to know the answers to the "big" questions of life. Living the Gospel makes our lives easier. All those worries and stresses about life are answered. We can have peace and joy in knowing who we are, what is expected of us, and where we are going. We can feel our worth and know that what we do is important, no matter how trivial to the world. We are not blind followers, but rather we each can know these things for ourselves through personal revelation. And once we know, we can never be shaken if we stay close to the truth. What an amazing gift we have been given!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Insanity Follow-up

And just so y'all know how amazing my husband truly is, he spent all day yesterday calling around to find a sitter so we could go out to dinner to escape. Keep in mind we already hired a sitter for tonight so we can go to our ward's adult Christmas party. But he knew I was at my wit's end and needed some time out. He wasn't able to find a sitter, but the gesture is priceless. What a sweet husband.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Into the Depths of Insanity


I am amazed that people still talk to me, especially my husband. With three weeks left to go, I am well into the sleep-deprived-overly-emotional-insane state of pregnancy. I have lost common sense and tend to fly on the side of irrational behavior. Not only do you sacrifice your body to have a baby, but also your sanity and reputation. It can be quite interesting.

Here are just a few examples from this past week of my episodes of insanity. On Monday I went to Costco to buy pull-ups for Jimmy, but got the wrong size. A problem easily fixed by returning the said pull-ups for the right size. No biggie. But I called my hubby on the way home from the store in tears, balling about how I felt like a failure and could do nothing right. We're talking about the wrong size of pull-ups here, not some serious character flaw, right?

Yesterday Anna got a card in the mail from her teacher thanking her for being such a good student and praising her progress in reading. I felt so proud of Anna and touched by her teacher that I got all choked up. Oh my goodness!

Then last night my husband had to run to the church to take care of some emergency business. I was very crabby about it all since he was supposed to be at home. This caused lots of tears on my part. Normally I have no problem with letting my husband serve, but the world was ending yesterday. Ah!

What amazes me is that it seems like I have no control over my emotions now. They are just there and ready to explode. I know I am doing it at the time, but just can't seem to stop. And then I feel so foolish afterwards. I often hear my husband say "I'm confused. What did I do wrong?" I don't know, but all I do know is that something you said made me cry. Perhaps it was because you said it while not making eye contact or you breathed in instead of breathing out after speaking. Or you were wearing blue on Tuesday when only red is acceptable. You didn't approach me in the proper fashion, on bowed knees with head lowered. Or maybe it's because you dared to enter my presence at all. Who knows? It's the great mystery of life. What sets off a pregnant woman? Is there any safe thing one can say to her? Not really. It's all a big guessing game. I am sure my husband often comes home from work and wonders if he'll meet "Sunshine Sue", "Medusa Sue", or "Sobbing Hysterically Sue". It's always a surprise.

So I fully admit that I am insane. I'm glad my wonderful husband still talks to me and endures this craziness. I am sure he is very excited for the baby to come. Of course, my emotions will still be out of whack after that. I remember watching "March of the Penguins" after Jimmy was born and crying hysterically when the baby penguins died. (Not a bright idea after giving birth. Duh.) But that's a whole different blog. Just know if I flip out or cry, it's nothing personal. It's just my new found insanity.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Daily Exfoliation

I always get random little flyers in the mail offering some useless service I will never purchase. Who doesn't, right?

Well today in the mail I got a postcard offering a variety of services from a local car dealership. One in particular took me a second to figure out and then made me laugh. It states the following:

Nu'ESSENCE AUTO SPA
Daily Exfoliation $9.95
(Exterior Hand Wash)
14 Minute Guarantee

It took me a second to realize the ad was talking about exfoliation for my car. I didn't know that existed. I always thought exfoliation dealt with removing dead skin to make one's skin look better. But to exfoliate a car? Seriously, what does that entail? Will they "exfoliate" away the scratches my van has accumulated over it's time with us? Will they be able to get the gunk on the back fender from our trip to Aspen Grove off? I haven't been able to. Come on people. It's just a fancy way to say they hand wash your car. Is that really so special? I do that to my van at home for FREE. Heck, I do it to some of my dishes, bathrooms, and even my children. I'm just not impressed. Maybe I should start using fancier vocabulary and start charging for my services.

But let's not forget the whole idea of an auto spa. Seriously, what kind of insane person takes their vehicle to an auto spa? Someone who lacks any money sense. Is it the "in" thing to be able to tell your friends that you take your car in for it's daily exfoliation? How lame is that? Especially in these hard economic times when lots of people are struggling. Sorry, I have to hit the spa, my car is looking a little rough around the edges. Please. Maybe I am evil, but I am thinking car spas are having a hard time right now. At least I hope people are being smart enough to not use them right now with money being tight. Of course, I see no need for them at any time and would hope people are smart enough to wash their own cars or use one of those coin car washes. Isn't it cool to be semi-grass roots?

If you can't tell, I think the idea of an auto spa or "daily exfoliation" treatment for my car is ridiculous, frivolous, and any other negative sounding "-ous" ending adjective. If I am going to spend any amount of money on exfoliation, it will be on me, not my car. I'd love to have my feet done and I'd enjoy it too. But even then I can't justify spending the money on that. Maybe as a treat after the baby comes. But my car, no way, no how, ain't happening.

One Reason Why I Love Living Out West



The Sunrise that greeted me on Tuesday morning.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

My Turn

Now that I've disclosed one of my husband's secret quirks, I'll share one of mine to be fair. I always find it funny/ stressful when we visit my dad's house because it is in immaculate condition. I don't think you could find any trace of dust or dirt on the premises, no matter how hard you tried. Eating meals there with my kids is always a bit stressful because I can see my dad wanting to pick up the crumbs as they fall from my children's mouths. My sister and I used to make vacuum marks on the rug with our hands if ever we ventured into the unused, but always clean dining room. We didn't want traces of our presence there to be detected. Like I said, his house is beyond clean.

The funny thing is that I inherited his quirk for cleanliness. Now I say first off that I am not to the extreme of my dad, whom I love very much, but I can get carried away. Watch out on Wednesdays when I mop my floor. I hate to have my beautifully cleaned floor walked on and begin the process of getting dirty all over again. I usually will spot clean it for a few days after I mop and then just give up and let it look used. I hate cleaning bathrooms, but I love to have them freshly cleaned. My husband and I used to joke that I would forbid him from using the bathrooms after they were cleaned because I am so particular about them staying spotless. How dare he use them! They are only for show! Not that he is messy, but I would rather my bathrooms stay in an eternal state of sparkling. Plus I didn't grow up around guys and all the bodily functions that entails. And I would vacuum the house every day if I could. I hate to see little pieces of lint on the carpet. Don't even get me started about clutter. I hate clutter on my counters or around my house. There have been times when I have told my husband that his mother doesn't live here so he better clean up after himself because I'm not. Yeah, I can be a butt head when it comes to my house, especially if I am in a foul mood, ie. pregnant or pms-ing, or having a bad day. My poor husband puts up with a lot and amazingly plays along at helping me keep things clean. Thank goodness he is laid back. I know I am very lucky. And I too have become wise and appreciate how he cleans in his way, most of the time. (I'm not perfect after all.)

Thank goodness the Lord invented these wonderful people called children. Over the years my tendencies for perfection in my home have calmed down thanks to the little ones who daily work to destroy order in my house. I take more time to enjoy the kids and don't spend every second cleaning up after them. I've become pretty laid back about it. It's something I've had to learn: chill or go insane! I still have my moments and my house always looks clean, but I've gotten better at letting the kids make messes and have fun. I want my children to feel comfortable in their home and I think I have accomplished that.

Now you know one of my "dark secrets". Y'all will probably be afraid to visit us for fear that my husband will wait for you to make a grammatical mistake and then pounce on you or that I will follow you around with a vacuum and broom. I promise, we love company and to have people over. We are not insane, just quirky like everyone else. (And don't tell me you don't have at least one quirk. Lying isn't good for you.)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Grammar Patrol

I have to tease my husband. He is just so adorable and wonderful and you all know that because I always tell you that. But he has one little quirk that amuses me to no end. Yesterday it took on a new height.

You see, my husband is the grammar patrol. He has always been very aware of the use of proper sentence structure and grammar. I am sure teaching missionaries Spanish at the MTC for four years only aided in creating this hidden passion for proper language use. When we were first married Marshall would always correct me when I would say something that wasn't grammatically correct. Now I didn't go around talking like some uneducated person, but sometimes I made errors. I am not a grammar queen. That section in English always bored me. After a while I told my husband that he needed to stop correcting me because it was getting really annoying and made me not want to talk to him. So he stopped and we haven't had any problems since. What a wise newlywed he was.

However, yesterday we were talking on the phone and I said something and then waited for a response. None came. I asked "why"? He said it was because I had spoken in a sentence fragment and he was waiting for me to finished. Oh my! Someone has been spending way too much time analyzing law documents or something. I spoke in a fragment?! My poor hubby needs to have more fun. I explained that I wasn't aware of the error, but more importantly when I pause in a conversation that means it is his turn to say something. It made me chuckle that his old grammar patrol self came out again. I'll have to be more careful in our phone conversations now.

Now you all have been analyzing my writing and noting my grammar flaws, right? In all honestly, I don't mean to talk badly about my husband in any way. I just think his little grammar quirk is funny and cute. I had to share. I am sure that since it's been seven years since I've been in school and I spend my days with children that my grammar isn't always perfect. But I still am able to communicate with the world and sound intelligent. Just beware the next time you talk to my husband!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Death by Broccoli


It's interesting to see how one's body changes with age. I'm not talking about the outward physical appearance, but the random odd things that can happen as one ages. For instance, I used to love to swing as a child, but as an adult it makes me want to puke. Why? Or what about pop? I used to be able to drink it just fine, but anything that isn't sugar-free now makes me want to gag. The worst is broccoli. I love raw broccoli in salads or just with vegetable dip. It's yummy. But for some reason raw broccoli makes me bloat up to an almost popping state of death. What's up with that?

Last night we had baked potatoes with homemade cheese sauce and cooked broccoli for dinner, one of my favorite meals. But my body decided to take things to a new level and make cooked broccoli evil too. I thought I was going to explode from all the baby and broccoli pressure. I was in such pain and discomfort all evening. It's not like my body has room to spare for such things since I have a big baby inside of me. Is this what I get for being good and trying to eat my vegetables? Not fair. Broccoli is good for the body and has lots of great nutrients. But now it has become my enemy. Vegetables are evil! You've been warned!

I've decided that if I'm going to die from eating something, I don't want it to be broccoli. Death by chocolate sounds much better. I mean they even have ice cream flavors by that title. It sounds much more appealing than "death by broccoli". Oh yeah! What a way to go! So I guess broccoli and I will have to part ways because my body has now deemed it "evil". I just hope my body never rebels against chocolate. That would be a tragedy and I might just have to do myself in with an overdose of that rich smooth dark delight.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

The Little Things

Who knew such joy could be given by spending a measly $2.40 at Home Depot? My how my world has changed and happiness has been brought back to life because of one little purchase.

What on earth am I talking about, right? A while back our lame tub stopper broke. It's the annoying kind of stopper that one has to twist and then push down. It never worked very well in the first place. We usually had to sit and try and twist it a few times before it would catch and plug. But then one day it broke completely. The only way we could keep water from leaking down the drain was to hold the plug in place with our feet. Not very relaxing while you freeze in an inch of water as you wait for the tub to fill up. And it was really lame because I like baths, especially when I am pregnant. I take at least one every other day. A nice soak helps to relax me and take away some baby tummy pressure. In fact, I've told my husband numerous time that I was just going to spend the rest of my pregnancy soaking in the tub.

So happiness was brought back to our lives when I was at Home Depot this weekend and remembered to buy a new plug. I took a bath tonight with it and I was in heaven. I was able to get in the tub after it filled up and even able to lay on my side to alleviate pressure. No worries about the water all leaking out if I didn't keep my foot on the plug.

It's amazing what a nice tub plug can do. It really is all about the little things. Now if I could only figure a way to spend the next four weeks floating in water until the baby comes then I'd be set.

Friday, November 28, 2008

'Tis the Season!


I love Christmas! I love the start of the season and today we began it by decorating our house, putting up our tree, and listening to Christmas music. We already had put up our outside lights on Wednesday. We are all so excited for Christmas, plus the baby is coming around that time too!

I love the magic of the season, especially for Jimmy as he "rediscovers" some things like Christmas lights and Santa. It's great!

Hope y'all have fun getting into the spirit of the season!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thankful List


Thanksgiving is upon us. I've been pondering a lot about what I am grateful for and here are a few things, in no particular order, that I have come up with:

1. Motherhood/ my children: My life would be so void without my dear sweet children. I know they often push my sanity to the extreme, but I wouldn't want my life any other way. My children challenge me and force me to grow and change into a better, more selfless person. They light up my life with their smiles, jokes, laughter, and kisses. Before I was active in the church I had planned out my academic and professional career to a "t". I wouldn't change my life now for any amount of credentials or worldly recognition. My job is the best in the world.

2. My husband: I don't think I will ever run out of good things to say about him. He is a gem and a dream come true. He is my perfect match and makes me a better person by knowing him. He has a great calming influence in our home and always strives to be righteous. I am so grateful that he is a worthy priesthood holder and can use his priesthood at any time if needed. I love that he can always take me to the temple. He is an amazing father too. He loves to play with the kids and cares about them so much. Being bishop has kept him busy as of late. Today Anna woke up in tears because Daddy was at church last night and already at work today and she wanted to see him. She missed him so much and being the great dad he is, he came home for a few minutes just to give her a hug. And although his calling as bishop is challenging, I feel very proud and in awe that he has lived worthy of such a calling. He is a good man whom I love deeply.

3. My husband's job: We have an income! What a blessing as I see those around me who struggle. I feel so blessed that we can provide for our family. It may not be as fancy as some, but we can still take care of our needs. And by my husband having such a great job, I can be at home with the children. I would just die if I had to send them off every day to daycare and go to work. I would miss out on so much. Although I may complain at times, I cherish my time with my children at home.

4. The Gospel: Oh how I would be lost without it! My life would be so different and I would not know the joy I do now. I am sustained and uplifted by living the gospel every day. And I would be lost without the guidance of the Spirit. Just last night as I was putting the kids to bed and getting frustrated with them, I had the chance to pause and reflect, thanks to the Spirit, on what a privilege it is to be a mom. No one else can do the job I do for my children as a mother. Little whisperings like that keep me going and remind me of my importance and worth. And without the Atonement and the Savior, I would be destined for misery. What more can I say?

5. Needs Met: So often as I clean my house or snuggle with the kids on a cold day I think about how blessed I am to have a roof over my head. A place to protect me from the elements and a place to call home. What a blessing that we have such a beautiful home where the Spirit dwells and we all can be protected. I also feel so grateful each week when I go grocery shopping and feel the satisfaction of being able to provide food for my family. My husband's job makes this possible, but what a great feeling it is to know what we have food storage and full cupboards. Also clothing and shoes to wear. I don't have to go out and kill our dinner or sew our clothes. We can go to the store and afford such things.

6. Friends: What would I do without my friends? Those who I email from a distance or who live nearby. They keep me sane, lift me up, and bring sunshine to my life. I love them all and am so grateful for each one. They understand me and my life and offer great support, love, and inspiration. I'd be less without them.

These are just a few things I am grateful for. The list could go on and on. Another benefit of the Gospel is being able to more easily see the blessings we have in life.

I hope you all have a Happy and safe Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Thanksgiving Program


This afternoon was the first grade's Thanksgiving program. Anna was so excited and did a great job singing. Here is a quick video of one part. She is in the second row and the fourth kid in. It's hard to see her face because of her bonnet and the video isn't the best due my small children who were SO helpful, but you get the idea. I tried! Anyhow, it helped me get into the Thanksgiving spirit, until the lollipop tantrum. See next video.

Program Continued


And any mom who has gone by herself to a school recital with small children in tow can understand this video. I was trying to record Anna's class saying their part, but Rachel and Jimmy had a fight over a lollipop. Great timing! I didn't realize the camera was still going. The kids think it was funny now, but not at the time.

Naturally Nesting

What is "nesting" and why does it happen? One definition of nesting states: "Around the fifth month of pregnancy, the "nesting" instinct can set in. This is an uncontrollable urge to clean one's house brought on by a desire to prepare a nest for the new baby, to tie up loose ends of old projects and to organize your world." Okay. But what is the biological process that causes it to happen?

I've been pondering this a lot lately because I am naturally an organized person. The above definition describes me on a normal non-pregnant day. Unless I am deathly ill, you will never find my unshowered during the day. Dirty dishes do not last in my sink. My house may have toys strewn throughout, but it is always clean. I organize my grocery list according to the departments in the store for maximum efficiency. I am always willing to try my hand at any home improvement project. I have my church bags packed the night before church. I plan my menus weekly. Every week I send out a family letter through email and mail three copies out to various members who are not email savvy. The list could go on and on. Being organized is my game, which is probably why when I haven't had the calling to teach in church I have been a secretary in various organizations. I like to run a tight ship.

So what does nesting do to me when I am pregnant? I've been known to repaint rooms 9 months pregnant. Right now I have most of my Christmas shopping completed, almost all my Christmas letter envelopes addressed, Christmas letter written, the baby's clothes washed, folded, and ready plus the bassinet set up and waiting, Jimmy's baby book finished, etc. If I could hang up our Christmas lights, I would. Last night I got fed up with our stove top and completely opened it up and cleaned it out. Take the definition I shared at the beginning and times it by 100 and then you'll have me now.

But I take pride in my spazziness. What's wrong with being organized? It makes my life easier. And what is wrong with nesting? Why does it get such a negative vibe? Granted, I haven't done anything insane like scrub all the door handles in our home, but still what's the big deal about being prepared? I'm proud of the way I do things. Sometimes I think my urges to organize are a bit odd, but I just can't help it. My husband knows enough now to just stay out of my way when I get a project going. But I am glad he isn't like me because often he'll tell me to just relax and let it sit for a day. He helps to keep me in check.

Still, I think this whole "nesting" thing is funny. I see nothing wrong with it. I have this big life changing experience coming up and so let me get out my excited nervousness. Let me be crazy and organize. Just sit back and reap the benefits. Now we just need to come up with a positive definition for me when I am not pregnant and yet still very organized.

Monday, November 24, 2008

My Little Superman



I am so proud of my little Superman. Yesterday turned out to be quite the ordeal for the poor little guy and he handled it all so bravely.

After lunch the kids were playing outside, which they do most days. All of a sudden I heard hysterical crying from Jimmy. He had gotten his fingers shut in the back gate. The kids had been playing with it even though I had told them it wasn't a toy. At first I thought he would get over it, but after attempting to console him and seeing he wasn't calming down, I started to worry. His fingers began to swell and the crying increased. I started to wonder if his fingers were broken. So I packed everyone up and headed to the church to tell Marshall that we were off to InstaCare. Poor Jimmy really wanted his daddy, but Marshall had tithing settlement all day. Our First Counselor offered to send the girls to his home so they could play with his family. I am so glad I took the offer because Jimmy and I had a long wait at the doctor. Apparently everyone gets sick on Sunday. But after much crying and some pain killer, Jimmy conked out in my lap as we waited.

He was such a trooper at InstaCare. He really wanted to go home after he woke up, but I told him we had to see the doctor. Shortly after our name was called so we could go back. He had insisted on having a band-aid on his finger and thanks to swelling it had to be cut off so the doctor could look at it. Jimmy was not pleased, but endured. Then we had to get x-rays. He started crying when the technician put the little apron on him, but we finally got him calmed down after telling him repeatedly that he had to wear it for the "special pictures for his bones." Since I am pregnant, I couldn't be with him during the pictures, but he was brave and listened to the woman as she posed his fingers each time for an x-ray. Poor little guy.

It turned out that he doesn't have any broken bones. Whew! But his fingers are badly bruised. So he has to wear a finger brace on the most badly hurt for a week. He was not happy at all when they put the brace on his finger and insisted on having it off. I explained it would help his finger get better and he finally accepted that answer. The finger that has the brace is one of his beloved "sucking fingers", but he has done so well with it being off limits. I thought he would wake up in the night in pain, but didn't.

He has been so brave and tough. What an ordeal for an almost three-year old. I am very proud of him. And also very grateful to the family that watched my girls while I was gone for a few hours at the doctor. What a day! What blessings!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Blessings of Sisterhood

Today marks the beginning of tithing settlement and any woman who has been a bishop's wife knows all that it entails. Lots of long Sundays and weeknights. It's our first time going through it and I am excited to see how well I fare. But more than anything, I am so grateful today for the women who have gone through all this before me and can offer some sympathy and compassion.

As the kids and I were leaving church, we ran into our second counselor's wife. She has raised her children and has many grandchildren, but she put in lots of experience as a young mother holding down the fort while her husband served in various busy church callings. This sweet sister came up to me and inquired about how I was doing. She then mentioned it being tithing settlement time and how it is always an ordeal. She said "It can be a great spiritual experience for you husband, but often not so much for you because you are busy trying to keep the spirit and stay sane." What? How did she know that's how I often feel as I support Marshall in his calling. It's so nice to know I am not alone and other women have felt this way. In fact when we arrived to church I told Marshall I had brought the spirit of contention with me, meaning two out of our three children were driving me nuts. Jimmy wanted to wear a Spider-man shirt to church and I refused. This he did not like, but we finally found a suitable church shirt we both agreed on. Then Anna insisted on having her shoes velcroed to the tightest possible setting, but claimed she can't do it herself. So I did it for her, but after a few times of her playing with them and wanting me to fix them, I left her to her own abilities. This caused much weeping and wailing. We can't go through one Sunday morning without someone hating me.

But this sister understood! She gave me a hug and told me to call her if I needed anything. I told her I just might call her to keep me sane and she chuckled because she knew exactly what I was going through. I am so grateful for the love and compassion shown to me by our dear sisters. Many of them have been bishop's wives and those who haven't still know what it is like to raise small children. It's nice to talk to my friends at church and know I'm not the only one ready to sell my kids some days. Or the older sisters who can commiserate with me about the uncomfortable last few months of pregnancy. I so appreciate their love and concern for me. I would be so lost without them and our sweet interaction on Sundays and during the week. What a blessing it is to be a part of Relief Society and be strengthened and uplifted by my association with these sisters.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Counting Days



I am debating renting the above to assist me over these last five weeks of pregnancy. I know people tell me that I look good and am so small, but I feel like I need some heavy machinery to help me do simple things like get out of bed or off the couch. It's embarrassing to have to leverage my weight so I can pop up. I feel like some helpless animal. The last part of pregnancy is just not glamorous. I try my best to not complain, but sometimes I just have to say that I feel huge!

My poor husband is probably so sick of me complaining about how fat I feel. He often looks at me like I am insane and says "Hon, you're pregnant. It's not fat, it's all baby." I know he's right, but I still feel like my bum, legs, and chest are huge. It's just a fact of life. I am sure having a hard time finding some suitable form of exercise that won't cause pain doesn't help. I am an active person and I love to exercise. I love it! But lately I just can't seem to do much aside from my little pre-natal aerobics dvd. It also doesn't help when I go to the doctor and get weighed. They have that set weight guideline for how much you should gain and it drives me crazy. I am doing well by it, but am getting near the end and so my doctor reminds me that we don't want to put too much weight on. Really? I am trying. Shoot, I barely have room in my body to fit a glass of water without it immediately having to come out. I do try, but holidays like Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas don't help.

Plus I think I am going insane. I bought a bassinet the other day at a second hand store. I took it apart, washed and cleaned it, and set it up in our room. Now it is making me all the more anxious for the baby to come. I am SO excited to meet the little guy! (And to not feel stretched to the max!)

I know the craziness of the last month or so is beyond worth the end reward. I just have to remind everyone that even if I look small, I don't feel so small! So keep telling me how good I look, lie if you have to, and I think I might just stay sane until the end. After that, who knows how long I'll be able to keep my whits about me!

The Blessings of Service

I had a blog all written about my crabby two-year old and how he is driving me insane. But then I had the chance to go visiting teaching and look outside of myself. Mr. Jimmy is still a crabby bum who needs to be taped to the wall, but my annoyance at his mood doesn't seem to be so pressing now. I used to have a hard time with visiting teaching because I am so shy, but now I love it. I have the chance to serve and connect with other sisters, plus get to know about their needs. It's a wonderful program.

I love the sisters I get to visit. They are all so much fun and easy to talk to. This morning I had the chance to sit and visit with one sister, whom is just adorable, and laugh over the crazy things kids do and the "joys" of pregnancy. It was great! And my kids actually played somewhat happily. We were able to catch up on things and just have fun talking about life and the Gospel.

Then we visited another sister who is having a hard time because she is very pregnant, her husband is up north working permanently, and she is sick and trying to take care of her young child. It was so good to visit with her and find out what we can do to help. I found out that her home teachers hadn't been coming so when I got home, I made some calls to make sure someone is going to check up on her in the elders quorum and get the woman a blessing, which she could use. And my companion IS going back over there with her husband to help change a light bulb that is difficult to reach. It all may seem like small things, but we'd never have known how this sister needed help if we hadn't gone visiting teaching. I am so glad we are aware now.

I love visiting teaching. It gives us a chance to build relationships with various sisters in the ward. We can socialize and have fun. And we get to talk about the gospel together and share our views and testimonies. Plus when someone has a need, we can become aware of it through our visiting and help care for that person. Is there a better chance for service than that? I don't think so. By serving we also take a look outside of our own lives and become more concerned for others. What's not to love?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Let the Man Be


I just finished watching a documentary type show called "The Real George Washington". I missed the first half, but what I did see what interesting and disturbing. The purpose of the program was to show how over time we've lost a lot of facts about Washington's personality. Often people see him as a bore, but in reality he was a vibrant military genius and warrior with a colorful past that involved a lost love and some teenage stupidity. So George Washington wasn't perfect? Whew! I am glad we got that covered. It is fun to learn little facts about prominent historical figures, but I do not like to see these great people painted in a negative light. I know no one is perfect and we all have our flaws, but I think it is unfair to judge our Founding Fathers according to our standards.

The first fact portrayed about Washington that bugged me was the idea that he used double agents and all sorts of "deceptive" spy techniques during the Revolutionary War. It seemed as if the authors of the show wanted to paint him as bad guy because he stooped to that level and even enjoyed using covert methods during the war. When I think of the Revolutionary War, I think of David vs. Goliath. Our little struggling land was David and the British were Goliath. We were so unorganized and unprepared for the war that it was amazing we had a hope of winning let alone that we actually won. I think the tactics used by Washington were genius. In times of war, deception is used. That is a given. Look in the Book of Mormon and how often the Nephites trick the Lamanites into thinking they have more men in their army than they actually do or get the Lamanites to drink wine that knocks them out. I don't think there is anything wrong with such techniques and sometimes they are the only option. But if they help the cause of good, so be it. It's not like George Washington or Captain Moroni were blood-thirsty leaders out for their own glory. They fought for their people. It bugs me when I see Washington's image tarnished because he used such techniques.

The second fact listed was the image of Washington as a slave holder. He inherited his family's slaves at age eleven after the death of his father. That's usually how the system worked. And he had slaves his whole life and treated them as property. So did most people at the time. I in no way or shape condone slavery, but the attitude of the time was that it was okay. Some people were beginning to realize it was not a good thing and would have destructive consequences on the country when finally prohibited, but it seemed like a great machine impossible to stop. In Washington's time, people grew up around slaves and thought nothing of it. In our time things are different and so, of course, we would be horrified at slavery. It is wrong. But we cannot label Washington as a bad man because he had slaves. He didn't know any better. He was a product of his time. The show did mention that in his will Washington stated his slaves should be freed and educated upon the death of Martha, but they made it sound as if it was only an attempt on his part to save his name. Slavery plagued our country and leaders for years and years, even long after it was out-lawed. To blame one man for not changing such a deeply entrenched system is entirely unfair. It took centuries to overcome and in some parts of the country people still struggle with equality. It's not all George Washington's fault.

I have no problem with historians wanting to educate us more on the more colorful and interesting details of prominent historical figures. It makes these great people seem more human and likable. But I do not like to see these legends portrayed in a negative light because they were imperfect. Yes George Washington liked to dabble in spying, he was a general in a war that forever changed history. I don't think we realize how scary and dangerous the time of the war was. And yes, he did own slaves, but so did most southerners at the time. But he also was the only man able to accomplish the amazing feat of uniting the land to fight and beat the British, thus establishing our nation and changing history and our lives forever. So cut the man some slack for being human.

Secret Spy Talents

I should have been a spy. Okay, right now I wouldn't look the best in a skin tight cat-like suit, but I do have other spy-like abilities I am finding out about. Did you know I can speak in code? Seriously. I didn't either, but I am discovering this talent, much to my dismay.

You see, today I feel sick. I picked up some puking bug from my in-laws. Yeah for family! I haven't actually puked, but I feel like I could at any moment. Needless to say, it's been a rough morning. Now I've told my kids that "mommy feels sick". In code this actually means "fight over anything you can think of and be extraordinarily crabby". It's only 9:15 in the morning and I am ready to send the kids back to bed. We've had fights over the silly little Batman car Jimmy got in a Happy Meal a few months back. Oh the screams of injustice that have plagued our house over this dinky toy. One would not believe. Then we've had disagreements over what to watch on tv while Mom mops. (Yes, I mopped my floor while sick because 1) I am insane and 2) it keeps me away from the kids so I don't sell them.) Rachel has a show on and Jimmy comes and turns it off. Repeat step over and over until Mom is about to lose it and banish everyone to their rooms for life. There have also been rude demands for snacks and such. Hello? Haven't I been drilling into my kids that they need to ask for things nicely and sometimes wait go get them? Apparently they have a learning problem when it comes to this one. When I am done mopping the floor, I tell the kids to stay off it. This actually means "test it out to see if it is still wet and get little foot prints everywhere." We go through this every week much to my amazement. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but sometimes I do wonder about them.

Now I know that I have the gift to speak in code. I just need to figure out how to make it work to my advantage because so far it's creating the opposite results. Do they have courses on it because that would be helpful? Perhaps I should check out spy school.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Twilight Hysteria

There are just some things I don't get in life. Leg warmers, men with perms, skin tight jeans, afros, pregnant women in bikinis, etc. These just don't make sense to me and leave me wondering "What the heck?"

The latest thing I don't get is the mass hysteria caused by the "Twilight" series and upcoming movie. I can understand teenage girls ogling over the "dreamy" Edward, but I can't fathom grown women doing it. I've heard many a woman talk about how sexy Edward is and how they would leave their husbands for him in an instant. What the heck? Is your marriage that bad that you would jump into the arms of a hundred year old vampire who acts like he is sixteen? How does your husband feel about this? I am sure this is great for his self esteem and your marriage relationship. I just don't get it. And what about the scripture that states something along the lines of looking upon a woman and lusting after her is committing adultery? Does this rule not apply to women? I think it does. It's a subtle fantasy that can lead to dangerous consequences, even if the character desired is fictional. And how many of these women would kill their husbands for fantasizing over Bella? C'mon. What the heck?

I will admit, I have read the "Twilight" series, except for the last book. I found them intriguing, but kind of lost interest with each book. There always seemed to be the same plot set-up. Bella, the heroine, gets herself in some major trouble and has to be saved. The question of her becoming a vampire is dragged out, as is the conflict of her being in love with a vampire and having a werewolf for a best friend. It got old after awhile. When I heard about the last book coming out, I was intrigued. But then I heard about the plot, which involved Bella's experiencing lots of sex as a vampire with Edward (after they were married), and I thought "No thanks." Why would I want to read that? I heard mixed reviews from people. Some loved it while others hated it. I think Stephanie Meyers kind of just gave up with the last book. Granted, I didn't read it, but that's because the premise completely turned me off from it.

As for Edward, I've never thought him dreamy and sexy or someone I'd leave my husband for. See there isn't anyone I'd leave my husband for because, um, I love my husband deeply and have made sacred covenants that reflect that. So thoughts like that never cross my mind. And Edward just seems a little too intense and creepy for me. I dated a guy at BYU who we affectionately call "Rebound Boy". He was always calling me and planning activities for us to do. He was always trying to take control and got very upset when I was unavailable. He always wanted to know what I was up to. Can you say stalker? I ended that relationship because I was being suffocated and I found my true honey, my husband. But I didn't like the little taste I got of being around someone like that. Edward seems kind of controlling, like Rebound, to me and women fall head over heels for him because it's sexy and shows his love for Bella? What the heck?

I know people are freaking out over the upcoming movie. I've seen previews and it makes me want to gag. It seems like a movie that takes itself too seriously. Let's have everyone look pale and pasty with bad stark lighting and they can all talk dramatic. Ugh. It's like some horrible teenage love movie with a disease. And grown women are going ga-ga over this? What the heck? I just don't get it. But then I was never one to throw myself at movie stars. I had those crushes as a teenager and that ended when I joined reality. So I don't understand grown women fantasizing over crushes and I don't agree with it. I am so sick of hearing about "Twilight". It's almost worse than the election campaigning.

So in honor of the all mass hysteria, I am leaving a you.tube link to my favorite "Twilight" spoof trailer.(the fist on the list) It is hilarious and makes knowing about the books almost worth my time.

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

Monday, November 17, 2008

The Parable of the Curling Iron

I have naturally wavy hair. This means that when I want to wear my hair straight, I have to use a curling iron to tame my wild locks. I've been doing it for years and have got it down to quite a simple science. However, no matter my years of experience with the all-mighty curling iron there are those times that I end up burning myself with it because I am not paying attention to what I am doing. This usually seems to happen right before I have to teach a lesson in church. Why not add some extra details to my face that can raise all sorts of questions? I wouldn't want to look good or anything.

Yesterday as I was getting ready for church, I had the misfortune of burning myself with the curling iron. I was busy thinking about something and wasn't focusing on what I was doing. I still have slight marks from my last burn and now a new one to add to the collection. It amazes me because the hot iron only touched my skin for a split second before I pulled it away in pain. It's not like I held it there and let it singe my skin. But it didn't matter, the mark was still left. How annoying and painful!

Now I don't know if it was because I was in a pondering mood for my Relief Society lesson that day or what, but I thought about how my little curling iron experience is comparable to life. Often we are faced with decisions that can have long lasting consequences. Even the smallest deviation from the path can cause us pain and mar our spirits. The choice to let down our standards and view an inappropriate movie or listen to a spiritually destructive music. Deciding to take a quick look at something pornographic just to see what all the hype is about. Slacking off in a calling because we just don't have the energy to do it today. Forgoing scripture study or prayer because the day was just too busy. Letting our visiting or home teaching slide for a month or so because we think no one will really notice or care. Not paying tithing for a little because the budget is too tight. Or skipping going to the temple because we think we just don't have the time at this point in life. Avoiding Family Home Evening because it seems like our small children don't seem to listen or care about what is being taught. All these are little decisions, but they can have lasting effects on our lives.

In church yesterday there was a lot of doctrine taught by our bishop about how Satan tries to deceive us. He will use lies mixed with truth, outright lies, or try to redefine the Savior in the world's view. How often have we heard "I don't think Jesus would do that. It's too mean."? I've heard this often in reference to Proposition 8 and there are members who have been sucked in by this lie and gone against the prophet. It doesn't matter what trips up a person in regard to following the truth, what tempts a person to deviate from the straight and narrow, the point is that we will suffer from our choice whether the consequences are big or small. We cannot afford to let the adversary think for even a minute that he has the possibility of getting a hold of us. Repentance is a wonderful thing, but how much better would our lives be if we didn't let ourselves be tempted and fall in the first place?

So learn from my curling iron experience. Pay attention to what you are doing every day to keep the Spirit in your life. Are you slacking off in some way? Are you letting yourself be tempted? Pay attention to your surroundings. Are you trying to justify sin because it's only for a "short" while that you plan to stray? It doesn't matter the excuse you use, your choice for taking a spiritual vacation will have lasting consequences. Perhaps the marks won't be as obvious as my curling iron burns, but they will be far more destructive and painful. In this day and age we cannot afford to take the slightest deviation from the Spirit. Be wise and choose the right.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Five Percent?

Yesterday in the paper there was a "Letter to the Editor" from someone who proposed the idea that the LDS church cut tithing down to five percent of income due to the "hard" economic times. I kid you not. I read the letter and kept waiting for the punchline, thinking it was a joke. But it wasn't. This lady was serious. Times are hard and the church needs to help out by letting it's members off the hook. The church needs to give more.

This lady must not have any idea of the bishop's storehouse and welfare aid available to those members who are truly struggling. Or fast offerings? The bishop uses these to help out members of the ward who are in need of aid. And what about how often the church rushes to aid those, including many not of the faith, who are devastated by natural disaster? The church doesn't do enough to help it's members? I don't think so. It is the most generous and has the best organized welfare program I know of.

Now let's talk about how this woman feels the five percent members would save could be used to better help their own families. I doubt that. Most people have no idea how to use their money wisely. Look at the economy. There have been times when I actually have thought about how much we pay in tithing and think "Wow!" It's a good bit of money. But what would I do with it if I had it at my disposal? Save more? Spend it on stupid things I don't need? Go out to eat more? I don't know. The point is that I don't miss the money I pay in tithing. We get by just fine and we always have. There have been times when things were tight and yet we still paid our tithing. Those times when one wonders how things are going to work out. But amazingly, not really, the Lord has blessed us and we have made it through those tough times. We weren't dripping in jewels and sitting on piles of cash, but we had enough to take care of our real needs. There has never been a question about paying tithing and there never will be. Look at the widow and her two mites. That was all she had and yet she paid and was blessed.

Most importantly tithing is a commandment from the Lord. Those are non-negotiable. You either accept it or you don't. There isn't any haggling over price. All we have is from the Lord. EVERYTHING. And you can't give ten percent back to Him? C'mon. What's the deal with that? The Lord always blesses us for our obedience to His commandments. I just don't see how we lose out on this one. How could someone have the audacity to ask for a smaller requirement? The Lord doesn't work that way. Not only that, but we live in one of the most prosperous countries. How can someone complain about paying tithing in the United States? Try living in Africa or any struggling country. These faithful members do what is asked of them and love the Lord in doing it. They have far less than us and yet give freely. Talk about being spoiled where we live.

The bottom line is you either follow the Lord or you don't, just like with Proposition 8. You can't negotiate with the Lord when he has set the conditions. You do it and are blessed for it far beyond your imagination. Or you don't and suffer the consequences. Don't think that when you reach the judgement bar you can sweet talk your way into the Celestial Kingdom. The Lord is a little bit smarter than that. He doesn't ask of us more than we can handle. If you have a hard time with paying tithing, make changes to your budget. But don't whine about how unfair it is. One can only imagine the condition of this lady's testimony who wrote this letter. Unfortunately she has been decieved and strayed from the Lord. It can be a great warning to us all.