Time to become a fashion designer

I love fashion. I always have. When I was a young girl, I had the ambition to become a fashion designer. I was constantly drawing women in various dresses, skirts, pants, outfits, etc, dreaming of the day when I would see my creations come to life. My brother and I would spend hours critiquing outfits we'd see out in public, going over what worked and what didn't. (Yes, we were kind of buttheads.) I love the way clothing can flatter a person and set the mood for whatever adventures lay ahead. Maybe it's the artist in me, but I really admire an outfit that makes a person shine and accentuates their features and figure. Sometimes this can be an issue when I see friends and family that I just want to help, give a few tips on how to better flatter their figures or hide their trouble areas. Not that I am an expert, but I am detail oriented and so notice the good and bad of every outfit. My own fashion has calmed down since having kids and moved more into the practical realm. I still love to look good and search out for that perfect little piece that adds to an outfit, but you won't be finding me running around the playground in any sort of heels, no matter how adorable, to catch my kiddies.

I mention my love of fashion because while at the mall today (Yes, I was at the mall today. It doesn't happen often, but I did promise the boys I would take them on the coin operated little rides there after going to the gym with me.) I happened to have the chance to study the "Prom" dresses at the Deb Store. I use the term "Prom" dresses loosely because I really don't consider that attire advertised for such an occasion to be appropriate for the said event. After looking at those dresses, which were located right by the ride-on toys, I started to wonder if perhaps I really should persue my childhood dream and become a designer. I don't think I could do worse than what was out there. And I know I could design more modest dresses. Ha! That wouldn't be hard! But I digress, I must share with you a few of my most favorites, or as I like to call them "fashion disasters".



 #1 The Pink Stripper- it's a bathing suit gone Prom dress! This outfit only works if you have 0% body fat, which means now not only can we see  pale flesh exploding out the sides at the beach, we can enjoy it at special occasions like Prom as well. Nothing is more flattering than walking around in a bra with a long skirt attached to the front. Plenty of places to shove dollar bills!

#2 The Drafty Disaster- I have NEVER liked the look of having the skirt shorter in the front and longer in the back. It seriously looks like someone cut out a part of this poor girl's dress. As if she isn't showing enough chest already, you'd think they would have used said cut portion to cover some of that cleavage.

#3 The Droopy Hippie- The tye dye is really taking away from the whole formal aspect of Prom so why not add a blingy belt to make it fancy again? Um, no. But let's address the real issue. Unless you are 10 and under, going bra-less is not a good thing. Someone needs to perk up and cover up here because we are getting way more than we bargained for.

#4 The Genie- When you think of this, do you not see Barbara Eden in "I Dream of Jeannie"? What were they thinking? Let's take the bra skirt dress and drape some different colored fabric around it. That'll make it look good! No, it looks like a Halloween costume and is even more hideous than the "Pink Stripper". Every girl's dream is to go to Prom dressed as a genie!

#5 Red Hot Skank- Someone call the police! This girl has stolen my lingerie!

 #6 Safari Explosion- Our model seems to be confused. Is she a zebra, lion, or giraffe?We all think African jungles can be pretty cool, but we don't want a dress that looks like someone took the jungle, ran over it with a steam roller, and called it a dress.

Oh fashion, you'll never let me down! There will always be something new and hideous every day to enjoy and make me wonder if I should become a designer.