Why Some Women Need To Be Hit With My Purse

The first time I heard the term "better than sex" was when I was a teenager. We were visiting my mom's friend and she told us we HAD to try Dove chocolate ice cream bars because they were "better than sex". Being an innocent teen, I was curious as to how good these bars actually were. After trying one I remember thinking "Well that sucks. It was good, but it was an ice cream bar. Is it really bts?" Not to mentioned being grossed out because I knew about my mom's friend's sex life. Ick! Then I vowed never to become someone who would let her intimate life be topped by a food item and never to compare something so beautiful and intimate to something so common.

It has amazed me over the years how I have heard this term, used only by women, to describe various decadent desserts or other supposedly amazing experiences, like getting a face massage, to be better than sex. Really? Why do they suppose it is acceptable to publicly compare their sex life to something? That just isn't right. Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and men went around talking out how last night's football game or steak at Texas Roadhouse was totally "better than sex". The cries of outrage from their wives would be heard all over the nation. They would be labeled as insensitive jerks for judging their women's bedroom performances. It would be ugly.

Why do women think it is okay for them to publicly ridicule their husband's performance? It's one of those stupid double standards of some women that makes me want to whack them over the head with my purse. With "New Moon" coming out there has been a lot of drooling and ogling going on by women over the shirtless Jacob and glowering Edward. Some have even commented about how their husbands need to step up the game in the bedroom to compete with these young muscly heart throbs. Are you kidding me? Again, someone needs to explain to me why women feel it is acceptable to talk openly about their sex lives and entertain these lustful thoughts. Oh yeah, you can't explain the rationale to me because it isn't right. D'uh!

What would one of these women do if their husband came home from watching a movie and raved on and on about some sexy young actress and how their wife needs to work-out more, get a boob job, and some highlights to keep him from turning his head. Death, destruction, and mayhem would be unleashed, or at least that man would be sleeping outside without any hope of reconciliation in this life. Women wouldn't stand for it. So why do it to men? It's a perversion, cruel, and just plain old wrong.

Not to mention the fact that is brings your marriage down to a base level. It should be taboo to talk about your intimate relationship with your spouse. You'd think women of the LDS church would know better since the doctrine teaches it is sacred and holy. Seriously, maybe your sex life would be better and your marriage happier if you didn't blab about it to everyone. Perhaps you could try talking about it to your husband instead, since he is the other half of the relationship. It does take two to tango, you know.

When it comes down to it, there is something seriously wrong with you if you start rating your intimacy with your spouse based on desserts. There's something wrong with YOU if you start comparing your spouse to someone else on the movie screen or in real life. These are the seeds of infidelity. If you want your husband to treat you like a queen, then start treating him like a king. Keep what goes on in the bedroom in your bedroom and between the two of you. No one else. Please, save us all from gagging and spare us your feelings on your sex life. We aren't the ones who need to know. Your husband is.

A Confession

After all my ranting and raving about "New Moon", I saw the movie. Mind you, it was out of sheer kindness towards a friend. You see, it was my friend's birthday and she wanted us all to go and see the movie together. She even bought me a ticket. So I went for my friend. And I survived.

I must admit the second movie is much better in quality than the first. The vampire make-up isn't as bad, though still not very good, and the acting improved, though still wasn't compelling. I love what one critic had to say, wondering why either Jacob or Edward would fight over chronically depressed Bella. Seriously, the girl is never happy. Then Edward decides to leave and that makes it all the worse. Her screaming nightmares got to be annoying. Her clutching at her sides when she would think about Edward. Oh the pain! From the memories or from constipation?

The movie only cemented the fact that I prefer, if I was forced at gun point to pick, Jacob. He was much more warm and caring. Edward remained his cool aloof self. Oh, how sexy! I like how one woman described Edward as lust and Jacob as love. I agree. Jacob just seems to, um, actually care about Bella.

But I can't believe I have wasted this many words on the movie already. I confess, I saw it. I didn't die of boredom, but I wasn't sold on it either.

Be Like Henry: Let the Ant Be

As a child I loved the book "Henry's Awful Mistake" by Robert Quackenbush. It was a fun story about a silly duck who creates a terrible mess all because of an ant. As an adult I have grown to appreciate the message behind the story and the valuable lesson taught through Henry.

Henry is a duck who decides to invite his friend Clara over for dinner. As he is preparing the meal, Henry, much to his shock and dismay, discovers an ant in his kitchen. This will not do! Everything must be perfect for his dinner with Clara. So Henry begins chasing around the ant, who eventually crawls behind the oven. Well Henry is not willing to give up there and decides to pull out his stove and find where the offending insect went. He discovers the ant slipped into a crack in the wall and goes after it with a hammer. Unfortunately, the ant chooses to hide on a pipe and Henry very foolishly hits the pipe with the hammer, causing a giant leak. He thinks quickly and ties off the water with a towel and counts his blessings that the dinner is saved. However, while cleaning up the wet kitchen, Henry slips, crashes into the table, and ends up covered in food and pans. Looks like he'll have to cancel his dinner after all. While he is on the phone with Clara, the towel comes lose on the pipe and poor Henry is washed out the door by the water. He can do nothing, but watch his house wash away. Henry ends up buying a new house and again inviting Clara over for dinner. Just as he is about to open the front door to his guest, Henry sees an ant. And he decides to look the other way.

What a fool Henry is! To completely ruin his dinner and home all because of one little ant. Who in their right mind would take a hammer to a water pipe? Henry was too caught up in getting that ant that he didn't realize what he was doing. Silly duck, right? We'd never do something so stupid as that, would we?

How about when we find fault with those who are our leaders in the church? It amazes me as a bishop's wife how people demand to be satisfied and if everything is not according to their wishes, they will let you know. To say a bishop, stake president, or even the prophet is not inspired because he does something you personally do not like, whether it be change a Young Women's presidency, institute a new stake program, or introduce new doctrine, is foolish and dangerous territory. To make public your dissatisfaction is even more treacherous because you are influencing those around you with your negative attitude.

Let's get one thing straight, the simple fact that it is the Lord who leads the church. When a prophet, stake president, or bishop is called, that person is chosen by the Lord and given all the rights and keys connected to that calling. That means that when they make a decision in regards for the ward, stake, or church they are doing what the Lord has inspired them to do. You may not agree with it. You may think President X or Bishop Y did a better job leading the ward or stake. But it doesn't really matter because it's not up to you, it's up to the Lord. If you've got a problem with your leaders, you get on your knees and pray to get in line with them. You work to love them. You can even meet with them and talk about what ails you. But you do not let what you perceive as their weaknesses or imperfections keep you from sustaining them as your leaders. You do not broadcast your opinion for all to hear.

Why? Because when you focus on the imperfections of your leaders, you become like our little duck friend Henry. He wanted everything to be perfect, or at least what he deemed to be perfection. Then the ant appeared and he became so focused and obsessed on that little insect that he failed to realize the destruction he was causing to his home before it was too late. He lost everything, but he also learned. And when that ant appeared again, Henry was wiser and choose to look the other way.

We must do the same with our leaders. They all are imperfect because they all are in this mortal journey with us. Some faults are more obvious that others. But we have the choice, like Henry, whether or not to focus on those imperfections. Do we hold grudges? Do we judge our leaders too harshly? Do we expect too much from them? Do we recognize that they are trying their best and see what good they do? If we fail to see the good and only focus on the bad, we will be like Henry. We will destroy ourselves, our families, and bring contention into our wards, stakes, and overall church, all the while not even realizing it. We wouldn't dream of hitting a water line with a hammer. That's just stupid. But what of venting about our bishop because he released who we thought was the best Relief Society president ever or dared to call us to an impossible calling?

We have to watch ourselves. Remember Henry and the lesson he learned. Remember to look the other way. Focus on the good our leaders do. Sustain them. Support them. Uplift them. Let their faults be and move on. After all, if we were bishop or stake president, wouldn't we want people to have patience for our shortcomings, which would be on display for all to see?

Thanksgiving: The Commercially Un-Cool Holiday

Thanksgiving is only a week away! My how time flies. It seems like every year Thanksgiving gets pushed aside in anticipation for Christmas. All the stores are in full Christmas mode, with a small half isle of Thanksgiving stuff. Once Halloween is over it's time for Christmas, apparently. I hate how everything commercial does that. I admit, Thanksgiving isn't a glitzy exciting holiday, but it's one not to be forgotten.

I cannot tell you how excited I was when my oldest came home from school one day and told me all about pilgrims and what they did. My child was actually learning about such things in school? Wow! I didn't think anyone cared anymore, not to mention how any type of European settler to America is immediately labelled as "bad" nowadays. I was so thrilled Anna was learning about pilgrims. They were an awesome people filled with great courage, adventure, and conviction. They should be celebrated.

Did you know Thanksgiving wasn't an official holiday until 1863, when President Abraham Lincoln declared it to be so? This was during the Civil War, which was not a pleasant time for anyone. What a perfect idea for people to come together and count their blessings during such a horrible time of war. Perhaps we could learn a thing or two from them.

Not only is remembering why we have Thanksgiving important, but also keeping the actual holiday alive itself. I, for one, don't want it to be stamped out in my children's brains because it falls between two more exciting holidays. Halloween means free candy and Christmas means presents to kids. Kids need to be reminded that life isn't just about getting stuff. Whenever I am feeling down about life not going "my way", I always remind myself of the blessings I do have and then I end up feeling grand. We try to teach this to our children, especially at this time of year. Each November we get out our "Thankful Turkey" and every Monday night our kids add "feathers" to him. We cut them out from construction paper and take turns writing on them what we are thankful for. Then we add them to our bare turkey. It's a great exercise.

Hopefully giving thanks is something we do more than once a year, but we should especially do it on Thanksgiving so our kids know they have a lot of be thankful for. Here are a few things I am grateful for, in no particular order:

Electricity
Running water
Medication
Doctors
House
Van
Email
Gospel
Temples
Husband's Job
Good friends
Scriptures
Testimony
Food in the cupboards
Grass outback
Baby smiles
Jimmy kisses
Rachel hugs
Anna reading
Sleep
Warm blankets
Ice cream
Healthy body
Exercise
Service
Sunshine
Leaves changing
Water
Slippers
Washing machine
Dishwasher
Dryer

What are you thankful for?

"Women of the Silk"

What a fascinating read! A friend recommended this book and I loved it! I actually have two more of Tsukiyama's book on hold at the library. She is an amazing story-teller, taking her reader into the unknown world of rural China in the late 1920's. We meet young Pei, our heroine, who at a young age is sold into working at a silk factory in order to provide for her family. We learn how these young girls form a sisterhood and eventually unite to form the first strike in the silk factory. Along the way Tsukiyama teaches us about the marriage customs and relationships of the time and culture and the horrors of the Japanese invasion of China. A beautiful story of courage, growth, and freedom. A must read!

Gag me with "New Moon"

Finally, the long awaited "New Moon" in the "Twilight" saga opens this week. Pinch me! Or better yet please stick pins in my eyes rather than force me to endure any more of the excitement and marketing that is following this big event. I mean, seriously, when I was at the check-out at the grocery store the other day, I noticed "New Moon" Sweet Tarts. Sweet Tarts! Now I can have hunky Jacob Black or mysterious handsome Edward on my candy box. What more could a girl ask for? A bucket to vomit in?

As you all know, I am not a big fan of "Twilight". I do admit that I read the first three books. They were a fun read, what I would call "brain candy". They were entertaining and suspenseful, but not amazing. Aside from the fact that every other page I wanted to yell at Bella for being so dimwitted and clumsy, constantly throwing herself in harm's way. And I did see the first movie, "Twilight", and I laughed with my sister-in-laws at the horrible acting. Was Edward constipated or suffering from an emotional struggle? I couldn't tell.

That is why I will never cease to be amazed at all the hub-bub over the series as each movie opens. Women who think Edward is sexy beyond all belief and Jacob is the hunkiest thing around just boggle my mind. They're fictional characters. Not to mention one is a vampire and could possible kill you. Yeah, it would be so fun on a cold night to snuggle up to my marble-like Edward. Not. Or what happens when Jacob turns into a wolf? Um, that would be scary, expensive for the clothing budget, and a whopper to explain to the neighbors. "Sorry my honey ate your dog. He had a bad day at work and just needed to let go." Sweet. I kind of passed that screaming infatuated fan stage when I was a teenager. Plus, I'm happily married to my cutie, who's been teased for being a blood sucker because he is a lawyer. I've got the real deal, ladies! Take that!

I won't be waiting in line for hours to pack into a theater of hormonal women to see "New Moon". Actually, I'll never pay to see it. Like the election propaganda, I am counting down the time until I don't have to see or hear about Edward, Jacob, or Bella again. I know they will never go away, but if I have to see one more box of Sweet Tarts with their love torn faces on the packaging . . .

Jacob in the leaves

More leaf pictures, but cute ones. Jacob got to explore leaves for the first time yesterday. He wasn't too sure about them. I love the disgusted face he makes when he is trying to figure something out. He didn't like how they stuck to his clothes, but he did enjoy grabbing a handful and then watching them flutter to the ground. Cuteness!

Fall in St. George

One day I'll catch on that Fall comes a month later down here. The kids have anxiously been awaiting the chance to rake and jump in the leaves. Rachel and Jimmy had a great time with it today.

The Sacrifice of Parents

I am sure you all have had those days when you don't want to get out of bed. You just want to tuck the covers under your chin, let your body meld to the bed, and go back to sleep. Everything can wait another day. But then you remind yourself that you have a job waiting or kids needing to be fed, dressed, and pushed out the door to school. You have people counting on you and so you can't just take a day off, no matter how tempting the idea.

I've been pondering this idea lately and how it applies to the sacrifices of parenthood. I'm not talking about the sacrifices mothers make to bring life into the world and raise those precious spirits or the great responsibility that rests on fathers to provide and preside in their families. Though crucial, and sometimes overwhelming, those haven't been the sacrifices on my mind. I'm talking about the sacrifices we parents make to teach our children the Gospel.

Let me explain. I know at least once in your life, more if you are honest, when those of you who have had small children in your home, the thought has crossed your mind about not looking forward to wrestling everyone for Family Home Evening, scripture study, or family prayer. Even Elder Bednar talked in this past conference about how often their family scripture study sessions were a little crazy and he often wondered what, if anything, his children learned. Or take Stake Conference. We had our's this weekend and enjoyed two hours of trying to keep our kids from going insane while we listened to the broadcast from Salt Lake. Would it have been easier to stay home and not undergo such torture? Yes. But we covenanted to raise our children in the Gospel so we went and endured the struggle.

It goes along with the idea of not wanting to get out of bed. You get up because you have to. You teach your kids the Gospel because you have been commanded to. Sometimes it would be easy to skip a family prayer or Family Home Evening. The kids are tired and have been fighting or maybe you're crabby and exhausted from a long day. But that is when we as parents need to step up and sacrifice. Time to say "Yeah, I really don't feel like doing this, but I am because I made a covenant to do so for my children". And then you do it because a big part of being a parent is sacrificing your own needs for those of your children.

Over the past few months I have watched a dear family member walk away from the church as she has gone through a divorce. It wouldn't be such a big deal if she did not have children watching her every move. I can understand that times are tough for their family, but now more than ever those children need the guidance of the Gospel. They are not getting it and some are having those seeds of doubt planted in their hearts. They're bitter or impartial towards the Gospel. The choices they make now will affect their future and they are lacking the direction they need and seek because their parents are not doing their jobs.

Whether we like it or not, our children are constantly bombarded by the world, a.k.a. Satan. His methods are more enticing, flashy, and cool. He can be found everywhere in the media, fashion, morals, and attitude of our day. The world is speaking to our children and it's voice is loud and very clear. That is why we as parents need to make sure our children are hearing the voice of the Lord in their lives. They need to learn to recognize and follow Him or else they will be led astray. We can't just leave them to their own devices and hope they turn out okay. You have as much chance as that happening as you do hitting a bulls eye on a dart board with your eyes closed. As parents it is our responsibility and duty to make sure they are taught the Gospel. Sometimes that means we have to sacrifice, whether it be patience, energy, or time, to make sure it is being done.

Our duty to our children does not end in their temporal well-being, but lies far deeper in their spiritual welfare. There can be no vacations or days off from the Gospel in the home. Satan never rests and neither can we.

Weekend!

Life is pretty much awesome. I just got our carpets cleaned, which badly needed them. I am going away over night with the hubby for a little firm retreat. And it's stake conference weekend so I'll see Marshall on Sunday. Sweet deal! Hope you all have a great weekend!

New Insight For Old Advice

In the past, probably last week, whenever I would get discouraged about not having something in my life, whether it be material or otherwise, my husband would tell me to count my blessings. I would grumble at him because I was in no mood to think about what I did have since I was too busy moping about what I did not have. You know the routine, life is unfair and no one has it as bad as you and don't try to convince you otherwise.

When I've counted my blessings in the past, I've always felt better by the end because I see all that I have and realize how blessed I am. But lately I have come to recognize further wisdom in this simple exercise. When I am bitter about what I don't have, my focus is on that one thing I want and I have blinders on to everything else. Not only do I overlook the blessings I do have, but also I fail to see the "tender mercies" that let me know my Father in Heaven is aware of me. With my focus elsewhere, I miss out on those spiritually strengthening and building opportunities.

We've had a few trials as of late and I have often gotten frustrated with the time it is taking to resolve some of them. (As I have mentioned numerous times, I am not a patient woman.) It seems as though sometimes it will never end, and I know some won't, and that the Lord has completely forgotten about me because He does not lift my burdens. That kind of thinking is wrong and is where I get into trouble. Since my eyes are looking at only my one desire, I fail to see all that is happening around me. Perhaps the Lord won't take away my trial, but He will work through other people and His own devices to let me know He loves me and knows my struggles well. He is waiting to lift my burdens, just not in the ways I expect or look for.

It has been amazing and humbling as I have taken the time and effort daily to be in tune with the Spirit more (which one cannot do when bitter) and notice the Lord's hand in my life. From my simplest needs or desires on to grander dreams, He is aware of me and He lets me know in small and simple ways. To realize that is overwhelming and makes me see what a fool I am when I doubt and rant about all my trials and the Lord not caring.

The next time you are feeling "picked upon" or as though you are alone, try counting your blessings. You'll quickly see all the Lord has given you and learn that He is aware of your trials and joys. You may just be focusing in the wrong place and miss seeing it.

A Potty is a Potty

I like to peruse the "$100 or less" section of the classifieds, where people advertise furniture, exercise equipment, and all sorts of stuff for less than a Ben Franklin. Sometimes there are some neat things, but yesterday I read about a whopper.

Beautiful antique chamber pot. Floral design. $35.

Seriously, who would want to buy a chamber pot? I don't care how beautiful the flowers on it are or how much of an antique it is. Do you know what they were used for? No amount of cleaning is going to make me want that thing. Some things are just not meant to be saved and revered in the future. What would I do with it? Put flowers in it? Use it as decor and tell guests, "Yeah, people used to pee in that. Pretty cool that I have it sitting on my coffee table now, right?" Yeah, that'd make them want to stay for dinner. In 30 years maybe I can sell my old toilet as an antique. You never know.

Piano Man Jimmy

Jimmy has taken to playing piano and singing. Today he sang about Darth Vader eating red peppers and getting killed. I couldn't resist sneaking in a video of him. What a cutie! Maybe he'll be musical like his dad!

Halloween Fun

We had a wonderful Halloween. The kids got lots and lots of candy. We have two big metal mixing bowls filled with all sorts of goodies. Even Jacob had fun and tagged along for most of the trick-or-treating. It's always a little sad once Halloween is over. Thank goodness we still have some more fun holidays coming up.

Cinderella, Captain Planet, and Superman

Me and my pumpkin