Sunday, November 15, 2009

Gag me with "New Moon"


Finally, the long awaited "New Moon" in the "Twilight" saga opens this week. Pinch me! Or better yet please stick pins in my eyes rather than force me to endure any more of the excitement and marketing that is following this big event. I mean, seriously, when I was at the check-out at the grocery store the other day, I noticed "New Moon" Sweet Tarts. Sweet Tarts! Now I can have hunky Jacob Black or mysterious handsome Edward on my candy box. What more could a girl ask for? A bucket to vomit in?

As you all know, I am not a big fan of "Twilight". I do admit that I read the first three books. They were a fun read, what I would call "brain candy". They were entertaining and suspenseful, but not amazing. Aside from the fact that every other page I wanted to yell at Bella for being so dimwitted and clumsy, constantly throwing herself in harm's way. And I did see the first movie, "Twilight", and I laughed with my sister-in-laws at the horrible acting. Was Edward constipated or suffering from an emotional struggle? I couldn't tell.

That is why I will never cease to be amazed at all the hub-bub over the series as each movie opens. Women who think Edward is sexy beyond all belief and Jacob is the hunkiest thing around just boggle my mind. They're fictional characters. Not to mention one is a vampire and could possible kill you. Yeah, it would be so fun on a cold night to snuggle up to my marble-like Edward. Not. Or what happens when Jacob turns into a wolf? Um, that would be scary, expensive for the clothing budget, and a whopper to explain to the neighbors. "Sorry my honey ate your dog. He had a bad day at work and just needed to let go." Sweet. I kind of passed that screaming infatuated fan stage when I was a teenager. Plus, I'm happily married to my cutie, who's been teased for being a blood sucker because he is a lawyer. I've got the real deal, ladies! Take that!

I won't be waiting in line for hours to pack into a theater of hormonal women to see "New Moon". Actually, I'll never pay to see it. Like the election propaganda, I am counting down the time until I don't have to see or hear about Edward, Jacob, or Bella again. I know they will never go away, but if I have to see one more box of Sweet Tarts with their love torn faces on the packaging . . .

5 comments:

annjeanette said...

Sue, I COULD NOT agree with you more!!! I have been sick of it for months. I did read the books, but the only one I really liked was Twilight. I have this problem of having to finish a series once I start it. The writing was not good, most of the last three books were very repetitive, I thought it was inappropriate in a lot of respects, I could go on and on, but I won't. I will not be seeing the movie either. I am glad that I am not the only one who feels this way because I get so many weird looks when I share my thoughts about it. I have a friend here who told me that she knows people (I think from her ward and such) that reserved the ENTIRE theater for the opening night. Don't they have something better to spend money on? Okay, maybe that was mean, but seriously. Anyway...enough about that from me. Just know I agree with you!

Bonnie said...

Gosh, Sue, you are soooo out of touch. Edward is, like, so dreamy. You are just mean.

mean aunt said...

I vote for a New Moon watching next summer where we can all sigh dreamily at Edward just like we did with Twilight. And with the closed caption on so we won't miss a nuance of the brilliant dialog.

MyDonkeySix said...

Oh, I second that idea. The watching of the first show with y'all was a hoot!

judy said...

You are so right on! I could not nor can not understand the hype! Do people have nothing better to do these days, than to get wrapped up in this idiotic garbage! I couldn't even get into the first book, and only went to the movie to be with my daughter. Snoozer!