Men and Women ARE Different and That's OK!

I have been meaning to blog about this for some time now. A few months ago my sister-in-law sent us a set of marriage workshops on CD that she had enjoyed and thought we would like too. She was right! I wish everyone could listen to Alison Armstrong's "Understanding Women: Unlock the Mystery". Her message is positive, uplifting, and insightful.

What I love about Mrs. Armstrong is that her whole premise is along the idea that men and women are different, though we often fail to see each other that way and that is where the whole problem lies in relationships. Women see men as hairy women and get frustrated when men don't understand them and their actions. Men see women as weaker emotional guys and don't get why women do what they do. It may sound silly, but it is true. Armstrong spends her workshop discussing women, mainly how and why we are different than men. During my morning walks I would listen to her lectures and every day I was blown away by how accurate she was concerning my feelings and how well she explained their origin.

Men and women were "wired" according to their differing tasks in life. Men are the hunters and women the gatherers and everything they do stem from those inherit roles. Whether or not you believe in the whole hunter/ gatherer idea, there is merit to Alison's argument. From a Gospel perspective we believe men and women are differently and divinely created for different, but complimentary roles. The male is the one to provide, preside, and protect, and the women to nurture. This parallels Mrs. Armstrong's images of the hunter and gatherer very well. It was amazing to both my husband and I how well she explained these differences and why women act how they do. It was almost as if she had taken a look inside my mind and uncovered my deepest thoughts. And for my husband it was a great eye opener into who I am and why I am that way.

What I love about these lectures is that Armstrong is always positive. She never puts down or condemns men, but praises them. Men and women are different, here's why, now let's see how we can best work together with those differences. Too often men are belittled for not understanding or relating to women. Not here. Alison tells it how it is and gives responsibility to both men and women to act accordingly with that knowledge. No one gets off the hook. Women need to realize their behavior, where it is coming from, and curb the negative. Men need to be aware of why the behavior is happening and help the woman deal with it. Armstrong gives great tools and exercises that create wonderful discussions among couples and better help them work as a team, which is her ultimate goal.

It has been awesome to better understand myself as a woman. And it's been great for my marriage because I now know more about who my husband is and why he reacts to me the way he does. Anything I can do to improve what is already so amazing in my relationship is good for me. It has helped my husband better understand me, my chemical make-up as a woman, everything who I am.

When I find something that is good, uplifting, and beneficial to marriage, I have to pass it along. Check out these lectures. Both husband and wife should listen to them like we did. They are great and will create a lot of great conversations and understanding in your relationship!