Ever Learning

I think I may actually be starting to get a hang of this whole mortal existence thing. This past year has been a rough one for various reasons, basically coming down to my learning that I am not in charge. My hopes and dreams were good ones, but the Lord had different things in mind for me. It has been  a struggle to get my will in line with the Lord's, kind of like redirecting a river's path.

I cannot imagine what it would take to change a river's path. It would obviously take a lot of work to dig a ditch for the river and then divert it into the new path while closing off the old one. You'd have to make sure the new path is far enough away from the old one so the river cannot overflow to the previous path. Width and depth in the new route would have accomodate the river, even when at its fullest. And the new channel would have to be strong enough to bear the force of the water.  I don't know the mechanics behind it, but I am sure it would be a process you'd have to get all the details correct. I feel like the Lord has been gently and lovingly been doing the same thing with me, slowly pushing me along a new direction in my life, while I am busy dragging my feet and trying to stick to my old planned out route. Sometimes I do well with the new plan, sometimes I just want to rely on my original path, hoping it will just somehow work. It's been a learning process that at times has been a bit painful.

As I sat visiting teaching today, discussing Elder Hales' talk on trials from this past General Conferece, a thought suddenly hit me. Life would be so much easier if I originally had accepted the Lord's new plan for me instead of fighting him along the way, sticking to my own plans. It wasn't until I had humbled myself and embraced the Lord's will that I was able to feel the promised peace and blessings He had in store for me. I had wasted so much time battling it out with Him instead. And while I fought him I was blind to the blessings He had in store for me because I wanted my desires instead of His.

Now I can see and understand the peace that comes through trusting the Lord. I don't know why things have worked out the way they have and some of my righteous desires haven't been granted. Sometimes I still struggle and have rough days. But what I do know is that by accepting the Lord's will, I have found great peace, strength, and comfort to help me endure those tough days. I do know that the Lord fulfills all His promises. I know He has a reason for all things and as long as I trust in Him, I will be okay.

Hopefully each time I go through this process, I'll be quicker to listen to the Lord. I'll let myself have His peace and be able to move forward in faith.