I remember once I posted on Facebook about Rachel's tomboy side and I had a lesbian acquintance comment on how Rachel might be gay. I didn't really respond to that, but laughed to myself as my child is only 7. I think too often in our "open minded" society, we are quick to label people. Kind of a big contradiction if you ask me. We're supposed to love people for who they are, but we need to label them as well. Or at least our children when they show certain tendencies. Wow. Imagine how much different Rachel's life would turn out if I immediately thought she was gay and favored her supposed "lesbian tendencies". Thankfully, I am smarter than that.
Right now I see Rachel as a 7 year old tom boy and will treat her as such. I am in no way worried about her. When I was her age I avoided taking showers at all costs, barely brushed my hair, and was often found playing soccer with the neighborhood boys, when I wasn't beating them up. I did not care about how my clothes or hair looked. If I was dressed, I was good to go. And I think I turned out okay. I am sure we all know that I am not a lesbian. I love my husband, who is a man, and find him irresistibly adorable. But how different and confused would I have turned out if my mom immediately started treating me different and shaped me into thinking I was gay.
I think we label people too early in life, with children "coming out" when they are just being children with their various personalities and tendencies. By labeling our children, we cut short their normal development, hindering them to become who they are. Then we wonder why they turn out as depressed teens or adults.
Guess what? I love to wear big dangling earrings and a nice skirt, but I still enjoy getting dirty and banging things with a hammer. That is just who I am and I love it. And I love Rachel for being Rachel, exactly who she is supposed to be.
3 comments:
So true, Sue. Just let kids be who they are. I mean, Marshall loved to play dress up and barbies and then grew up to love theater and singing, and as you know, he is the happily married father of four. :) I think we label certain behaviors as being "gay" when they aren't - different people just have different interests, but it isn't a reflection on their sexuality.
I love Rachel. I can't believe that someone could make that kind of a judgement on a child. I was stuck right in the middle of my 3 brothers growing up and I could always be found catching snakes or mice, shooting guns, and making mud pies. I think I turned out okay. I think Rachel is wonderful just being Rachel.
Julia also enjoys pretending to be a boy sometimes in pretend games. Like you said, I think it's important to let kids be themselves.
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