Do You Love Me?

This past weekend Marshall and I had the chance to get-away! Yee-haw! How often does that happen? We went up to the Shakespearean Festival in Cedar City. We had the chance to see "Fiddler on the Roof" and Othello". Both were amazingly done and had powerful messages.

I love the song "Do You Love Me?" from "Fiddler". It has such a great message and I was reminded of it again this weekend. After marrying off two daughters for love and not tradition, Tevye asks Golde "Do you love me?" She thinks he has gone insane. Why ask such a question? They've been married 25 years. Golde doesn't know and responds with singing about all the work, suffering, starving, crying, and laughing they've done for the last 25 years. Tevye keeps persisting and Golde keeps answering with what they've gone through during those years of marriage. Then the light dawns. She realizes that yes, she does love Tevye. All that they've gone through, the good and bad times, all the hard work they've done together does mean that they love each other.

It's a beautiful message and very true to life. Marshall and I talked about how so many marriages fail today because people don't realize that love isn't always roses and chocolates, it's hard work. They want instant happiness and never a cloud to appear on their sunny horizon. Not a very realistic thought. No sticking it out when there is little food or many sacrifices required. No working together as a team and doing whatever is asked in life. Too often people want it to be all about "me". Don't ask me to sacrifice or go through hard times. I want flowers, music, poetry, and sweets every day. Don't burst my bubble with reality! Well, the truth is, life happens. There is no stopping it. Rough spots will come and need to be smoothed over or trudged through. Waistlines, hair lines, and bra lines will tend to move with time. (sad, but true. sniff.) If one puts their trust and hope of love in all the silly little superficial things, he'll/ she'll miss what love is all about.

Tevye and Golde teach a very important lesson. Real love is constant and unconditional. That means that conditions can change in our marriage, but you can still have love. It's holding your wife's hair while she succumbs to pregnancy nauseousness. It's living on a small budget and going without so you can help your spouse complete graduate school. It's being alone for long hours so your husband can work or serve the Lord. It's holding hands or stealing a kiss for the brief moment your kids are occupied. It's having a tickle fight or laughing over stupid things you did as newly weds. That's love and I'll take it any day over flowers, chocolates, poems, or pampering. (though I won't shy away from any such gifts!)