A Mom's Job Description

I found the following by Erma Bombeck and got a good laugh from it. So true, but so worth it!

POSITION: MOM

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long-term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often-chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work various hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts "on call." Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES: This is for the rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily, until someone needs $5 to go skating. Must Be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.

Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery-operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION:

Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

My new great read

I am hooked on Charles Todd's Ian Rutledge series. The first book I read, number four in the series, was "Legacy of the Dead". Since then I have read the first two books and plan to continue on. I love these books!

In the series we follow Detective Ian Rutledge, of the Scotland Yard, as he continues his life investigating murders while recovering from the aftershock of fighting in World War I. Such a task isn't easy for Rutledge as he is often "haunted" by his war memories. The flash backs to the war are fascinating. WWI tends to be a forgotten war in comparison to the second world war. But it is full of fascinating facts, drama, and heroes. The conditions endured in the trenches are unimaginable.

Along with his "war baggage", Rutledge contends with his boss who is set on making him look unqualified. Regardless, with exciting plot twists and turns, our dear inspector always catches his murderer. Never a dull moment, filled with interesting facts and tidbits that leave one guessing. Scott gives the reader just enough to keep interest, wanting to know more. And the characters are believeable. I feel as if I know Inspector Rutledge on a personal basis and am always curious what he will uncover in his next case.

Best of all, the books are clean! So if you're looking for a good read, try out Charles Todd's Inspector Ian Rutledge series. You won't be disappointed.

Would you be jealous of you?

I had an epiphany the other that perfectly describes my attitude towards myself, something I find a lot of women experience. This came to my mind, "If I wasn't myself, I would be jealous of me."

Now I say that not to sound snotty, but to point out one of my greatest flaws, my inability to see the good things that I do and have. Instead of recognizing the things I do right and the good in my life, I tend to focus on what I do wrong and the things that go crazy. If I miss exercising for a day, have a random car problem, a tough day with the kids, or don't have feel confident in my calling, then that becomes the focus of my day. Forget all the good I accomplish by caring for my children, playing with and reading to them, making crafts with them, the mountain of laundry that gets washed, folded, and put away, groceries that are bought, and dinner cooked. Or my beautiful home, sweet children, amazing husband, financial security, food in my cupboards, etc. Or the fact that I do my visiting teaching every month, faithfully fulfill my calling without ever going insane, and read my scriptures daily despite not being able to ever have the privacy to pee by myself. Nope, gotta focus on the cookie I ate after lunch, the arms that aren't toning as fast as I want, that stupid pimple that showed up last night, how I yelled at the kids before bed, or how my faith still has a long way to go.

I know I am not the only woman who goes through this. And I know people who deal with depression are more often overwhelmed with the little daily glitches. But that doesn't mean we want to be this way or try to. It just happens. It takes effort to think differently.

That's why I was really struck with the thought of seeing myself through someone else's eyes. Not how I think people see me, but how I really am. I began to count my blessings and see that I am a pretty awesome person and have a lot to be thankful for. I am one of those women I look up to because they seem to have it all together. It made me stop and ponder today before getting upset or down over the little things. It made me give myself allowance for imperfections because they aren't that life ruining as I thought. Who cares? Is it really that big of a deal?

The next time you find yourself depressed about your life or your body, try to see yourself how others see you. Would you be jealous of you? Would you think yourself one of those amazing beautiful righteous women who seem to have so much good in their lives? If you're honest, really honest, the answer will be yes. And then those little or big imperfections of life won't seem like much after all.

Perfect Picture

Is there a better picture to describe life with a one year old? (Yes, that is the dishwasher door he is standing on. Just figured out how to open it today.)

It's better to be irresponsible

Why does our society reward irresponsibility and poor money management? I really need to stop being such a responsible, hard working, honest person because we're not the ones that get ahead in the world anymore.

I am just a tad annoyed at the current economy. There are all sorts of programs available for people who have gotten "in over their heads" with their mortgages. Lower interest rates, refinancing for a fraction of the price, etc. I can't count how many times we have received notices in the mail that we may be able to lower our mortgage by taking advantage of said programs. Seriously, I could have planted a forest for all of the paper they have wasted on me. I have disregarded these notices over and over because I know exactly what is going to happen. Finally, after being sick of all the "junk mail", my husband called one of these places to find out about the government programs available. Just on a whim.

What happened was what we both expected, so no tears were cried, just annoyance shared. We don't qualify for such programs. Simple fools that we were, we have always paid our mortgage on time faithfully. No cheap refinancing for us, no lower interest rates. But if we had hit hard times in paying our mortgage, well then, we would have been welcomed with open arms.

Now I wasn't looking for a free ride. We bought our house knowing what we got ourselves into and have paid our mortgage without issue. What bugs me is that there are programs available for people who have lived beyond their means and goofed up our economy. I agree that such programs are good for people who have lost employment or hit some financial set back. I've been very grateful my husband has remained employed and I haven't had to go to work. But what about all the morons out there who just were living beyond their means? Is it right that they benefit and are rewarded for their irresponsibility? Heck no! But then again, it's not much of a surprise since society tends to praise bad behavior nowadays.

Man, I missed out. Maybe I'll just go out on a shopping spree with my credit card. If I max it out and default payments, I'm sure I can find a good program to help me out. Spend today, think tomorrow!

Do you believe in leprechauns?

As you have probably figured out from my blog decor, I like to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. I have my little leprechaun, shamrock, and Irish maids figurines around the house. I have my St. Paddy's Day flag up outside and a shamrock on my door. Like all holidays, St. Patrick's Day gives me the chance to decorate and celebrate.

A few years ago we started a fun tradition with our kids that resulted from Anna's kindergarten teacher. On St. Patrick's Day a leprechaun had come to their class while they were at the library. How did they know? There were green footprints on the floor, the milk changed to green, and a note left by that mischievous little creature. Anna came home from school very excited and wondering if a leprechaun would visit our house. Because Marshall and I both loved the idea, we did have one visit. Whenever the leprechaun comes to our house, he likes to put things in odd places in the kid's rooms. Like a blanket hanging off a door or shoes on the bed. And he always leaves a treat, like chocolate gold coins or green frosted cookies. The kids love it when he comes, never knowing how he does it or when he will make his visit.

Tomorrow is the big day and I am very excited for the leprechaun to visit. We are true believers here in such magical creatures. Kids make celebrating holidays so much more fun. Just another reason to enjoy the magic of childhood!

First Real Hair Cut

I've given Jacob a trim in the back before, but today I gave him a full haircut. His hair was getting longer around the ears and I was also tired of a few very clueless people calling him a girl. That's right, he must be a girl because he is dressed in blue, orange, red, or green, has basketballs on his shirt and shoes, and short hair. He must be a girl! Really? He did a very good job with his haircut and was patient, except for trying to see the clippers on the back of his head. There is something kind of sad about the first real haircut. It means he's growing. But what a cute little boy he is becoming!

Resistance is Futile

It's over. I might as well hang up my gloves and call it quits. There is no hope. I am turning into my mother!

When I was growing up, my mom put great importance on tone of voice. It not only mattered what you said, but how you said it. You could say "I love you", "I'm sorry", "Please", or any number of phrases, but they would mean very little or have the opposite affect if you didn't say it with the right tone. I remember it driving me absolutely bonkers when my mom would say "Your tone of voice says otherwise." It was like fingernails on a chalkboard, making my impatient teenage self very frustrated.

Obviously I am teaching my kids to say things with the right tone. You can't say "I'm sorry" in an angry voice or "Please" in a winy voice. Common sense that kids lack and need to be taught. But this importance of tone has also passed over to my husband, the poor innocent fellow. How can he mean he is excited about something I told him unless his voice shows it? If there is just a little edge in his voice, intended or not, I notice. "Why are you so cranky?" to which he responds, "I'm not!", becoming annoyed like teenage Sue often did at my mom. How can he say in a monotone voice that I look great after I took extra special effort to look good for a date? Where's the inflection?

Yeah, he's doomed. After growing up with tone of voice being key, I have become an expert at picking it up. And even though it drove me crazy as a teenager and I swore I'd never be concerned about it, I am. It's hopeless, completely hopeless. Like many women before me, I have become like my mother in one more way.

The forces of doom have struck again!

The gods of chaos and misery must have heard my determined thoughts to let today be a good after the insanity that was yesterday. When my husband tried to leave for work this morning, the garage door opened a foot and then stopped. Hmmm. That's not normal. After several attempts to get it opened, even manually, we knew it was time to call in an expert. It turns out our garage door spring is broken and needs to be replaced. So now I sit at home and wait for the garage door man to arrive. "Take that, foolishly positive and optimistic woman!", those menacing forces yell.

Of course, you know it is all a conspiracy. There are goblins, far more wicked than those in Harry Potter, who watch over my bank account and make sure it does not exceed a certain limit. They may let me dwell with a false sense of security for a few weeks, all the while busy with the gods of chaos trying to give birth to a new plot to drain some financial weight. They thrive on ruining my perfectly planned budget. It is their lifeblood to cause me stress and they are oh so good at it. They laugh as I hope to save for a new bed, tiling job, or what have you, all the while knowing they will prolong my goals by their evil plans.

What else could it be aside from goblins and gods of chaos and misery? Sometimes it seems too well coordinated to be anything, but an organized effort. You can't really mean to tell me this is all part of life. Besides, my explanation of angry gods and goblins makes it all the more interesting.

Good and Bad of the Day

Downers of the Day:
-Jimmy peeing his pants on the way home from the store. What the what?
-Cleaning up said mess in the van with Jimmy's help.
-Jacob bonking himself on the wall.
-Rachel throwing sand in Jimmy's face.
-Sand covered Rachel running through the house before her bath.
-Cleaning up sand dunes around the house from the above.
-Jacob tossing a glass vase onto the tile floor.
-Cleaning up said shattered vase.
-Jimmy refusing to go to the bathroom on his own.
-Jacob waking up at 5am.
-Jacob refusing to nap this afternoon.

Highlights of the Day:
-A parent volunteer from Rachel's class stopping me at the store to tell me that she thinks Rachel is the most sweet, caring, and darling girl she knows.
-Anna drawing a picture of herself for a dear old brother in our ward.
-Finding out my brother will be visiting Las Vegas soon and we will be able to see him after over ten years.
-Jacob snuggling with me.
-Jimmy snuggling with me.
-After helping me clean said accident in the van, Jimmy telling me he is sorry and that it was a lot of work.
-The kids telling me dinner was yummy (how often does that happen?)
-Marshall bringing flowers and chocolate home for me after work.
-Rocking Jacob back to sleep after he woke up with a stuffy nose.

Another Good Read

This was a random book choice where I saw the cover, read the blurb, and thought it might be good. And it was!

Leah, an inactive widow who is forced to work the farm and raise her two kids on her own, is angry and overwhelmed when the bishop calls her to be the next Relief Society president. She keeps swearing she will asked to be released, but never does. We follow her through a journey of spiritual rebirth and fellowship. Leah learns to love everyone in her small town and not to judge based on appearances. It turns out that everyone has challenges in life, whether or not she can see them.

The book takes place during the Great Depression, a time in history filled with such suffering that I cannot fathom. Reading about the struggles of the ward members to put food on the table, keep their homes, and stay alive made me realize how truly blessed we are in this day and age. We may have a tough economy right now, but nothing evenly remotely compared to the Great Depression. This book really helps to put things into perspective and remind one of how good life really is right now.

A great read full of humor, wisdom, and learning.

Mom: Undefinable

What is a good title to call a full-time mom? I thought about this as I sat down, completely exhausted from a busy day with the kids and it is only 2:30 in the afternoon. Running to doctor appointments, registering for gymnastics, hitting the store for much needed toothpaste, picking up my kindergartner from the bus stop, giving an emergency bath to my toddler who ended up covered in wet sand while playing outside, getting peed on when my four year old boy didn't make it to the toilet in time, letting the kids have their friends over to play, and so forth, all in a few hours time. My husband gets to have a cool sounding title with his job, Deputy County Prosecutor. I want a rockin' title too.

Too often I let myself get annoyed when people brush off my "career" choice as a full-time mom. It's really not considered work by society, but that is because society is stupid. I mean, try spending all day on your feet, meeting the needs of a varying group of people, who don't even let you use the bathroom on your own. Added on top of that is the responsibility of keeping the house clean, doing endless laundry, hours of chauffeuring, cooking meals that will be scorned by at least one person in the group, budgeting, and teaching said group of people to be upstanding, functional, good citizens. Yeah, piece of cake! Ha! It's amazing anyone survives motherhood with any brain cells in tact, let alone avoiding a permanent stay at the loony bin.

Being a mom is physically and emotionally draining. Sometimes you feel like you are pushed to the limit and can't do anymore, but you always plow through the tough times because you're the mom and everyone is counting on you. No matter how tired you are, you just keeping going. Duracell could learn a thing or two from moms. We're beyond long lasting, we don't ever quit.

And yet, despite all the amazing feats we accomplish every day, we're looked down upon by society. And sadly, sometimes we believe we're wasting our time being at home. As if there is anything more important we could be doing. Who cares what the world says? Moms are tougher than tough and stronger than strong. Most of the time we put every one's needs before our own because we have too. We have to exercise patience and self control. Sometimes we loose it, but more often than not we will rock solid. We are iron women, super human, and hold the future of the world in our hands. Yeah, totally not an important job at all!

Somehow, homemaker, house wife, or domestic goddess just don't cut it. I don't think there is a title to describe all that a mom does. We're just too amazing to be labeled.