My Angel

They say the Lord answers our prayers many times through others. I totally agree. Darci was an answer to prays and worries when my husband was called as bishop. She has sat with our family in Sacrament ever Sunday for the past two years except only twice due to illness. More than that she has become a mom to me and a grandmother to my children, filling a gap in my life that I thought would never be complete. Her home has become a second home for Jacob. He loves to go play at her house. We all do! We love her so much. Our life would be empty without her!

Bedtime Ramblings

I can't think of anything I really want to write about. I have a few ideas, but nothing jumps out at me at the moment, begging to be written about. And I am just plain crabby because it was one of those bedtime battling nights. One where no one wants to go to sleep, but you know they are tired and really need to. Mr. Jacob who is darling and adorable, but in to EVERYTHING and refusing to sleep. Mom desperately needs a break from his antics by bedtime. Not to mention that I had the brilliant idea to paint Anna's toe nails. Ever since I had my pedicure done she has wanted to get one. Being cheap (no way am I paying for my eight year old to get a pedi!) I bought some white nail polish and promised to paint some design on her toenails. This would have gone well had she been able to leave her toes alone, but she wasn't able to and after repainting them twice, I was ready to breathe fire from my mouth. Not to mention an attack of the munchies that makes me want to devour all salty and sweet goods in our cupboards. So far I have resisted, but once Little Miss Can't-Leave-Her-Toenails-Alone goes to bed, I am hitting the ice cream. Bring it on, baby!

You can keep your clean bathroom

Every day when I read the paper, I have to read the comics and "Dear Abby". They are my "brain candy", unintellectual fodder. As I was perusing today's latest drama in Abbyland, and don't tell me you don't look forward to the juicy stuff, I came across a letter from a single woman who was happy being free and loving life alone. The following is an excerpt from this fascinating letter:

I have had a seven-year marriage and a relationship that lasted for four -- but for the last five years I have been unattached. It took me a while to get used to being alone, but I have realized something that everyone needs to know: Being single can be very satisfying
I clean my house; it stays clean. I have no extra dishes or laundry to do. There's no toothpaste left in the sink. The toilet seat stays down. I can relax in front of the fireplace because no one is trying to get my attention.

My checkbook is always balanced, with no surprises. I can go to bed at night and sleep without having to spend half the night explaining why I'm not "in the mood." I wake up refreshed in the morning without having to share someone else's challenges.

I'm free to come and go as I please without the burden of anyone else's expectations. And, if I'm feeling social, I can get together with a male or female friend and go out and have a good time.

Eeek! After I read this letter I felt sick to my stomach. How clueless and self focused this woman is. Of course, there have been times in all of our lives when we like to have "alone time". Living with someone else isn't always sunshine and lollipops. Sometimes you disagree and even get on each other's nerves. Perish the thought, but that's just part of relationships! And any mom of young children can tell you there are days when we wish at least one thing in our house would stay clean. But to say that it is better to be alone because things stay clean, check books remain balanced, and your life goes interrupted is just plain pathetic. Really, what's the point of living if you aren't willing to actually "live"?

But this seems to be the attitude of our society. Everything is about "me" and how "I" am affected by everyone and everything else. Don't throw off my groove or you're out of the picture. No wonder relationships and common decency are rapidly deteriorating in our world. If I had remained single I would be well off, well traveled, and living the life of luxury. I could do what I want when I wanted to and pamper my perfect little unmarred body any way I desired. And I would be miserable at night, hugging my pillow and wishing I could find a companion. Or if my husband and I had waited to have children until it was convenient for us, we'd have a nicer house, cooler cars, and completely empty and meaningless lives. Sure, that kind of lifestyle is flashy and exciting for a time, but it is always fleeting. The end result is a very lonely and very sad person filled with regret, remorse, and bitterness. Sign me up for that life!

Give me metal bowls banging on the kitchen floor while I try to make breakfast, a never ending laundry heap, piano playing at all hours of the day, super heroes dashing through my home at top speed, hand-me-down furniture, ties left on the back of the couch, and children and a husband who want to kiss and cuddle me! Let me be burdened by someone else's needs and let me be allowed to be a burden to someone else who will love me despite my "bad days". I would rather that lifestyle than one of perfect cleanliness, wealth, sanity, privacy, and convenience any day of the week. You take away my family and you take away all that gives me joy and purpose in life. They enable me to become what I am destined and created to be, reaching my fullest potential and greatest joy.

That writer to "Dear Abby" can have her life of silent solitude and selfishness. I'm not fooled for a minute because I know real happiness comes from focusing outward, not inward.

Happy Birthday Rachel!

Yesterday was sweet Rachel's 6th birthday. Where did the time go? She had a fun Batman and Robin filled day, from new Batman bedding and toys, a Robin cake, and even a visit to school by her mom to make Bat-planes with her class. I can't believe my little girl is six. I love Rachel. She is the girl I wish I was brave enough to be as a kid. We may butt heads at times because we both are stubborn, but I love how Rachel knows who she is, what she likes, and what she wants out of life and doesn't care what anyone else thinks. Go Rachel! And I think the last picture is a classic example of who Miss Rachel is. It's been a wonderful six years!

Second Grade Program

The second grade of Anna's school just did their big program for the year. It was all about weather. Anna inherited her mom and dad's shy genes, but I am so proud of her because she sang her little heart out for the trio she was in. She didn't want to let her teacher down. Go Anna! (She's the one in the middle.)

Peaceful Morning Ride

This morning I finally was able to motivate myself and get out of bed. I am feeling much better after visiting the doctor and getting some good ideas on how to deal with my allergies. I feel human again! I had to take advantage of my new bike and go for a bike ride.

Something I am very grateful for is my body. No, I don't like all the wear and tear aging and children, especially, have left on it. But who cares? I have a body and it works! These past few weeks of not feeling like exercising have been miserable. I am a very active person and hate to be stuck otherwise. It was heavenly to get out and moving! I love my body and the amazing things it can do! There is something to be said for exercising in the morning, before everyone and everything is up and going. I was the only person out on the bike trail. I saw numerous rabbits, insects, and various other animals as I rode by a farm. There was a peaceful stillness in the air. And the briskness before the sun has fully warmed everything up. It was so energizing and refreshing. It made me appreciate the beauty around me. It also brought back memories of riding on bike trails through Tyler Park in Pennsylvania or going along the canals by the Delaware River. Talk about beauty! I love being out in nature with no distractions and morning is the best time to do that.

I missed my early morning time to ponder, reflect, and exercise. I am excited to be back at it again. I hope you all take time each day to do something that helps you feel grateful for your body and the beautiful world around you and allows you time to ponder. It's great for perspective and attitude!

Wonderful Birthday

When I was a child, I hated having my birthday on a Sunday. There was no school to have a party at, no place to go, etc. Just boring. Well this year I am loving having my birthday on a Sunday. My husband, family, and friends have been celebrating my birthday all weekend. I feel like a queen!

Friday Marshall and I went on a date. We got dinner at one of our favorite places, Brick Oven. Then it was off to get me a cell phone for my birthday. Crazy, but I've gone all these years without one. I've often thought it would be convenient to have a cell phone, but the clincher was coming upon a neighbor who was on the side of the road with a flat tire. I realized I do not want to be stranded with four kids, especially in the summer. So we got me a cell phone and I love it. The last part of the date, which shows how awesome my husband is, was getting a pedicure. Marshall was willing to come along and get his toes done since it was my choice. I've never had one at a real salon, just at the local beauty school. I loved having my feet pampered and massaged. I even splurged and got a little design painted on my toes. Marshall opted for the clear polish, despite the ladies trying to get him to do a color. He was such a good sport.

Saturday morning my friend took me up to the local art community for breakfast at their neat cafe. It was yummy and all organic food. I had a blue corn waffle with berries, whipped cream, and peanut butter on top and a strawberry smoothie to drink. I was curious how it would all taste, but the meal turned out to be delicious. Afterwards we looked at the art in the studios and shops. I love art, but rarely have the chance anymore to do something like that. It was such a treat! We saw some gorgeous pieces. When I got home, Marshall and the kids had flowers sitting on the table for me and a surprise outside. The kids led me out with my eyes closed and revealed a new bike. I was surprised and so glad since I have wanted one to ride with the kids. It's one of those fun cruiser bikes with the big soft seat and classic frame. I love it! Then my other sweet friend gave me some yummy smelling stuff from Bath & Body Works. I love fun lotions and such!

Today, my actual birthday, Marshall had meetings at church. But he made sure I had something delicious for breakfast by buying orange and raspberry sweet rolls last night for me to eat today. So thoughtful and so yummy! I've enjoyed all the well wishing and phone calls from family. Right now Marshall is making dinner, sun dried tomato cream sauce over pasta. Yum! And for dessert we have a berry pie and an apple pie form the best pie place in the world. I feel pretty spoiled.

So here's to another year of learning, growing, loving, and living. It's been a great 31 years and I know that with my sweet husband at my side it will continue to be a wonderful adventure!

Are you grateful for the manna?

We're studying Exodus in Gospel Doctrine and, as always, I am learning a lot. I find the children of Israel amusing. Probably because I can see a lot of my children in them at times and maybe even a bit of myself.

What really struck me this week was the whole manna ordeal. I find it fascinating how it all worked and that the Lord perfectly provided a way to take care of His people. Not very surprisingly since, after all, He is perfect Himself. It's interesting to see how the children of Israel reacted to such a diet. They seemed pretty happy with it at first, and even grateful, though some greedy folks tried to horde manna and had unsavory results because of it. But after awhile, they get tired of eating the same old fare and started to complain. I admit that I've never had to eat the same meal day after day, year after year. I am sure it would get old rather quickly. But what about the miracle of how that food came to be? Don't you think seeing God's hand in it would quiet any complaints and instill humility and gratitude instead? Surely we don't get tired of the blessings the Lord gives us?

Think again. We're not so far off from those traveling Israelites of long ago. What once seems exciting and new, filling us with gratitude, can eventually become old and boring. I applied this concept to my opportunity to be a full-time at home mom. What a blessing, especially in this economy, to not have to go to work. Ever since we've had our first child, I've been at home full-time. I've never had to work. I've never had to put my kids in daycare and I have been here to take care of them, watch them grow, and love them every step of the way. How special! Yet, at times this doesn't always seem like such a wonderful thing. There are those moments when my children drive me batty for hours, days, or weeks on end. Those days when I would give anything to switch places with my husband and get away. Times when I miss working and bringing home a paycheck, some tangible reward for my efforts, as opposed to the clean house, clothes, or dishes that are quickly dirtied. What was once a great blessing can at times be a burden. Why? Because of my attitude. Like the children of Israel, I suffer from periodic blindness when I fail to see the miracle that is. Of course, we all have bad days and are allowed such, but consistent loss of spiritual sight is destructive.

Apply the above concept to any area of your life. Job, money, health, children, church callings, etc. Are you able to see the blessings around you? Or have you allowed yourself to become immune to them? Can you only see with your physical eyes? Everyone has struggles and trials in this life. That's just part of the game. But the Lord blesses each and everyone one of us. Sometimes it is with a tender mercy, small and simple, and other times the blessings are huge. The point is that we all have them in our lives. But do we choose to see those blessings or do we get "bored" with them? Are we grateful for the manna in our lives or are with looking for something more?

Still Here

I'm alive. I've just been feeling pretty cruddy due to allergies and taking care of a sick baby. I do have blog ideas, just need to time and coherence to write them. But I am alive!

I love Spring!

This week I took the kids for a picnic at the splash park. They had so much fun, even if Jacob tried to drink the water. Mmm. Too bad Anna missed out because of school, but I am sure she will have plenty of chances this summer. I love ym cute kids!

Another Genius Moment for Feminism

I remember when feminism used to have purpose, but that was before I was old enough to know what feminism was. It seems as though the modern quest for equal rights has gone completely insane. Women end up looking more like idiots than intelligent beings worthy of respect.

Here's our latest example of feminism at it's best: two dozen women marching topless through Portland to prove the double standard in society concerning male and female nudity. The marchers wanted to prove that topless women are the same as topless men. What they weren't expecting, because they obviously have been living under a rock, was the male oglers that the march would draw.

Ty McDowell, who organized the march, said she was "enraged" by the turnout of men attracted to the demonstration. The purpose, she said, was for society to have the same reaction to a woman walking around topless as it does to men without shirts on.

Really? Um, was Ms. McDowell on drugs, drunk, or psychologically unstable when she planned this protest and made this statement? Because I can't figure out how any sane person would ever think a topless woman would get the same reaction as a topless male. But then I dare to believe that men and women are different. Gasp! It's true, I admit it. I actually believe the hogwash in biology books and what life experience has taught me. I've given birth to children and breast fed while my husband has been unable to do so. So I'm willing to accept that our bodies are made differently and, thus, are not identical. Therefore, I do have one more private area to my body, my chest, because of the way it was created.

I don't know how I have lived all these years with such a burden, truly I don't. I have felt so trampled down by men because I have been assigned one more "special" part of my body. Oh, the cruelty of it all!

Aside from physical differences, let's just talk about common sense. We live on this crazy planet called Earth. And on this world there are these people known as "men". Due to physiological differences, men think about sex a lot more than women. To put it bluntly, men like boobs and looking at them. Most people know these facts, unless they are living in an alternate reality like our dear above mentioned marchers. This goes to show that if a woman takes off her shirt in public, she will get just a tad bit of attention from the opposite sex. Seriously, how stupid can you be?

Topless women will never be seen the same as topless men. Marching around showing your boobs is not going to help the feminist cause or get the right kind of attention. I just saw a shirtless old man working on a car today, his gut hanging over the hood. That was scary enough. I really don't want to see my sixty year old neighbor weeding her flower bed topless. I'd much rather prefer everyone keep their clothes on. I like using my brain, rather than my body, to make a point. Call me old-fashioned.

I'm not aging, everyone else is!

This month I am turning 31. It all seems like a bunch of numbers to me. I don't feel like I am 31. I'd put myself around 25 in my mind. Sure, my body has shown a few signs of getting older, but nothing to worry about. I can't actually be in my 30's, though. It's just a number.

But what does make me feel old is other people aging. Next month my oldest child will be turning eight and getting baptized. What? When did Anna get old enough for that? Not only that, but she has started to ask more observant questions about the moral code of the world she sees outside of our home. Huh? She's too young to notice these things.

Or what about the twin boys from our ward who were barely in Young Men's when we moved in? They seemed so little back then. No way they can they be going on missions!
Speaking of missionaries, they seem like kids to me now.

Then there's the younger siblings of friends from my youth. I keep running into them on Facebook. They're all married and have a child or two. This past week I got a wedding invitation for the younger brother of a friend. The last time I remember him he was a little deacon. Isn't he still that age? When did he grow up and who said he was old enough to get married?

This also applies to nieces and nephews. I remember my little niece when we got married. She was just a girl and so excited to get a picture of me in my "princess" wedding dress. Now she's old enough to date. Or my other niece, who I remember babysitting when she was in diapers, will be starting her Senior year this next school year. It blows my mind!

You see, I'm not really aging. I'm still young at heart. It's everyone else that keeps growing and aging. They're the ones trying to give me a complex. They're the root of the problem. Me, I'm still cute and young at 31. Just don't tell me about another person younger than me getting married or having kids!

He Lives

May you all have a wonderful Easter. This is the reason for Easter, what gives me hope in my darkest hours, gets me out of bed when I'd rather not, overwhelms me to tears, and brings immense joy and hope to my life. . .

I Know that My Redeemer Lives

I know that my Redeemer lives;
What comfort this sweet sentence gives!
He lives, He lives, who once was dead;
He lives, my ever living Head.

He lives to bless me with His love,
He lives to plead for me above.
He lives my hungry soul to feed,
He lives to help in time of need.

He lives triumphant from the grave,
He lives eternally to save,
He lives all glorious in the sky,
He lives exalted there on high.

He lives to grant me rich supply,
He lives to guide me with His eye,
He lives to comfort me when faint,
He lives to hear my soul’s complaint.

He lives to silence all my fears,
He lives to wipe away my tears
He lives to calm my troubled heart,
He lives all blessings to impart.

He lives, my kind, wise, heavenly Friend,
He lives and loves me to the end;
He lives, and while He lives, I’ll sing;
He lives, my Prophet, Priest, and King.

He lives and grants me daily breath;
He lives, and I shall conquer death:
He lives my mansion to prepare;
He lives to bring me safely there.

He lives, all glory to His Name!
He lives, my Jesus, still the same.
Oh, the sweet joy this sentence gives,
I know that my Redeemer lives!