It's not about the ring

While at the near-by duck pond with my kids, we came across a couple having their engagement pictures done. It brought back a flood of memories as I watched them pose in various locations and positions. What an exciting time of life! Newly in love and committed to each other to enter into a most sacred and wonderful covenant. The starting of a new family unit. It made me think about my own engagement and all the time that has passed since, all the adventures we have gone through and how much closer we are to each other because of life. I was so happy for this young couple.

Those feeling were soon replaced by digust when I heard the photographer say to the future bride, "Don't forget to turn your hand so we can see the ring. It's all about the ring!!!" What the? I just wanted to run up to the couple and say, "It's not about the ring! Don't listen to her. She's whacked! It's about seeing you two so happily in love. Never lose sight of that!"

Honestly, when I look at a wedding announcement, I never look for the ring. And I find ring shots of just the bride's hand cheesy. I could care less about what kind of rock she has and whether it is big or small. Boring! What I am most excited about it seeing a couple who is truly and completely in love. That is what I find the most interesting and important. Who cares about the jewelery?!

What are we teaching young couples when we tell them "it's all about the ring"? I am sure the photographer was just making sure she did a good job and got everything in the pictures. I don't know the protocol for being a wedding photographer. But her comment just really bugged me because we see so many people, of all different faiths and backgrounds, who think it is really about that one piece of jewelery. When we focus on the ring and think that is the most important thing, we miss the whole picture. It's just an object that is supposed to represent eternal commitment, or just plain committment, depending on your beliefs. But if that type of relationship doesn't exist between the couple, then it really is just a ring. A meaningless piece of jewelery.

Why don't we focus instead on what the ring means? It doesn't matter the size or cut of your ring, what is most important is what it represents. Total committment. That jewelery will only serve as a haunting reminder of a failed marriage if it becomes the center of your relationship.