I wasted my afternoon for this?

This week I finally had the chance to see the ever popular "Twilight" movie. Wow. I've heard so many things about it and was hoping it would be at least semi-entertaining. Boy, I obviously set my expectations way too high on this one.

The books had a good pace and were fun to read, though I do admit I never did read the last one and refuse to waste any time doing so. However, that tempo did not transfer over to the movie. Talk about b-o-r-i-n-g. It was incredibly slow moving. With all the sighing and forced lines I think the actors were attempting to be dramatic, that or they were severely constipated. The dialogue was blander than boiled celery and the make-up was horrid. I could look like a vampire too if I fell into a flour barrel. However, according to the movie around the neckline, for some reason, a vampire's skin tends to have a bit more of a healthy glow. Hmmm. Not to mention Edward's crazy hair. James Dean he ain't.

I never understood the attraction between Bella and Edward and the movie did not convince me at all that the two were madly in love. Bella is a moron. After having been alive for almost 100 years is she really the best Edward could find? Wow. She's just not the sharpest tool in the shed. I'd be really annoyed if some guy, who was periodically crabby to me, kept following me around. Bug off, man! Then when she does realize he is a vampire and he tells her he has killed before, she replies with "It doesn't matter." Um, if a guy I was dating told me that I'd be hittin' the pavement in the other direction. It would not be okay if he had killed other people before. Call me old fashioned, but I still believe that killing is wrong.

Not to mention the wonderful moral lesson Bella teaches. Edward confides to her that he is intoxicated with the smell of her blood and he doesn't know if he can control himself around her. Her reply is that she trusts him. Hello, idiot. That means he is telling you to get away from him. If Edward was a normal teenage boy, Bella would be dead within seconds. But girls and women look at that relationship and say "Oh, he loves her so much that he stays strong and doesn't drink her blood."(insert swoon) Great. He's a vampire. He's not real. Remember vampires don't really walk the earth. Okay, so if we say that girls should find a guy like Edward then we're setting them up for heartache and lost innocence. Because even if a guy really "loves" you, if he has a raging attraction to you then it'll be only a short time before you find yourself falling into sexual sin. Unlike Edward, that drive, especially in teenage boys, is not one that is masterfully controlled when constantly tempted. Bella and Edward's relationship is not romantic or beautiful, it's creepy and repulsive.

Needless to say, I was not impressed with the movie. If I could have, I would have begged Edward to put me out of my misery and drink my blood instead so I didn't have to suffer watching this nightmarish attempt at love unfold. I was cheated. I want my afternoon back.