I Love This Time of Year!!!!!

Fall has got to be my most favorite time of year. Here are just a few reasons why:

I love caramel apples. Give me one any day over candied apples. I love apples and caramel. Put them together and you have yourself a little bit of heaven. Apples are in abundance at this time of year. You can makes pies, crisps, or just cover them in sticky yummy caramel. What's not to love?

Changing of the leaves! This is one time of year that I really miss living back East, so much so that I think I could pop at times. I love driving down a tree filled road bursting with red, orange, and yellow leaves. It's gorgeous. Too bad that just doesn't happen out here in the desert.

Cooler weather means soup. I love soup. It's easy to make, just throw it in the crockpot, and it is warm and hearty. I am always looking for new soup recipes, but have quite a few good favorites at our house. There's nothing like a hot bowl of soup with freshly baked bread. Yum!

Decorating for Halloween. If you don't know what a spazz I am about this holiday, then you don't know me! (Hello, it took me weeks to find the perfect Halloween blog background!) I had my in-door decorations up a few weeks ago and last night put up our ghosts and lights outside. I love to decorate and Halloween is such a fun holiday to have fun with.

And, of course, trick-or-treating. I don't know who gets more excited for Halloween, me or my kids. I love to watch their excitement. There's something magical for us about Halloween. They love to dress-up and go out for candy. It's so much fun!

Monday Musings

-What's the big deal with Utah? Why do people joke about not wanting to live here, especially people outside of Utah who are members? Oh no! Don't make me live in a place with lots of temples, church members, and families! That would be horrid. Please stop the torture! Sure, since there are more members of the church there are more chances for interesting things to happen among them, but big deal! Every state has it's idiosyncrasies and faults. Isn't Zion going to be having a bunch of church members in it? Okay! So get over yourself already!

-It's really stupid for someone to get mad at you for not helping them in a time of need if they never ask for help. We're not all mind readers.

-I have been truly amazed at the tender mercies and blessing we have received lately. The Lord has made it very clear that He is aware of us and all that is going on in our lives.

-Why is chocolate always so good?

-General Conference is this weekend!!!! I am so excited! The kids are excited for our traditional breakfast buffet outing, but it works to get them pumped for conference.

-Spiders are gross. I've caught way too many, 2, in the past few days. Thank goodness the bug man is coming tomorrow.

-Jacob mastered climbing the bottom step yesterday. Life as we know it will be ending very soon. He also has an ear infection. Poor kid.


-Did I mention chocolate is good? Very good.

Let's Talk About Sex

Parables are great teaching tools, but there are times when they can be used too much and hinder the explanation of true principles. I remember as a teenager when we had talks on chastity at church walking away remembering that I was not supposed to drive "my wagon" too close to the cliff or it would fall off. Great analogy, but why? I am always one to ask "why" because I want to know the reasons I am or am not supposed to do things. Give me a decent explanation and I can dig it.

As a college student we had a memorable lesson on chastity in church. The teacher, the wife of one of our bishopric counselors, did a wonderful job with the first part of the her lesson. She laid down the law as to why having sex before marriage is not a good thing. It made sense. But then she spent the last part of her discussion sharing a parable about crystal goblets and how we all need to treat our own goblets with sacred reverence. I'm sorry, but she lost me when she started in with goblets. Anything she may have said prior to that parable was forgotten and now all my husband and I can remember from her lesson is those silly goblets.

While taking a marriage class at BYU, I came across the most wonderful talk, "Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments", by Elder Holland. In it he explained very clearly why it is important to wait until marriage to engage in sexual activity. What he said was beautiful, easy to understand, and made perfect sense. I wish more leaders would teach chastity in the same spirit he did. Too often we tell youth "sex is bad" amidst throwing frilly hand-outs and silly parables at them in the hopes that they will understand and not ask any questions. Then once they get married sex is magically okay, but we never tell them why. Once I had it clearly explained to me by Elder Holland, it made perfect sense.

Teaching youth about chastity is not something that should be taken lightly. The relationship between husband and wife is very sacred and should be treated as such. However, because it is so sacred, it is something we need to make sure youth understand. We shouldn't talk about it in a demeaning or light way, but we do need to be frank when we talk about it with our teenagers. Hiding behind cheesy parables or stories isn't going to do them or us any good. I remember feeling like my intelligence was insulted by all those silly stories. "Just get to the point already!" We need to explain things to them about intimacy in plain, clear, and reverent terms. And we must give an explanation, a clear doctrinally founded one, on why the Lord wants us to wait until marriage. I think if we did that more as parents and leaders of youth, we'd have a lot less problems.

We sell ourselves and our youth short when we refuse to tell them the truth about sex. If we're working to prepare them to be mothers, fathers, missionaries, and leaders in Zion, which are all big huge roles in life, why can't we be frank and honest with them when it comes to intimacy? They live in a world where sex is constantly thrown at them in all forms of media and life. They need to know why sex is so sacred or else they may treat it lightly and find themselves heading down a path of sin and misery.

Looking for the Rays

I would like one or two or three of the above, please. Why is it whenever I get frustrated with things I crave sweets, especially ice cream or chocolate? Why can't I crave carrots or apples? Hmmmmm? It's a good thing my husband is at church and I am in no mood to load up the kids to fix my craving. But it sure does sound nice.

I've decided that I am not made for trials. At least I must have hit my limit sometime during my teenage years because I have no patience for them anymore. These past few months have been full of them and it seems like I can be positive and then all of a sudden get really crabby. I know those moments of frustration and doubt are normal for everyone, but it's still annoying. What's up with not being perfect?

But I have been looking harder for those little rays of sunshine that make my days brighter and trials lighter, such as:

-Rachel dressing up as Batman, complete with black bat ears made from construction paper.

-Anna reading in bed for an hour so she can meet her weekly reading goal. (How awesome is she?!)

-Jimmy telling me, after we flushed a cockroach down the toilet, that he was going to go poop and it would go down the pipes and land on the cockroach. (Bugs and poop, he's all boy!)

-Jacob giving me a toothy grin while he flaps his arms in excitement as I come to get him out of his crib in the morning.

-Laughing with Marshall over a silly show.

-Having the cutest, most sweetest husband.

-Watching Jacob pull himself up to standing at the edge of the tub and think he is "the bomb".

-Jimmy running up to me and saying "I love you!" as he throws his arms around me.

-Rachel being too shy to sing a song for me that she learned in school.

-Anna trying her best to make Jacob happy when he is sad.

Yeah, despite all the craziness, my life is pretty darn good. Though an ice cream sundae as big as my bath tub, with no calorie consequences, would still be pretty nice.

A Good Halloween Read

Here's a vampire book that is clean and full of a lot of suspense! (finally) I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly I was drawn into Bram Stoker's "Dracula". I've always wanted to read it, but never got interested enough to actually do it. Well, I am glad I finally did because it was an awesome read. Talk about suspense and drama. And the best part is that it was clean! No swearing, no sex, and violence. I mean the book was written back when people actually knew how to use words to tell a story. It is a masterpiece and I am a big fan.

Now I just wish Hollywood could make a movie that would follow the book. I've seen both the Bela Lugosi and 90's version of the story. Neither do the book justice. I would love to see the book come to life, true to the way it was meant to be told, without added in sex and gore. I'll just keep on waiting, but at least I've got the book!

A "Duh" Moment

I'm always amazed at people who get divorced after only a few years of marriage because I've been married nine years and still have head smacking, light dawning, moments of "duh" when it comes to my marriage. I am sure that I will continue to have them throughout my life and perhaps one day, when I am old and gray, I will finally have learned something.

I had such a moment yesterday as I was sitting in Relief Society. We were touching upon relationships with our spouses and how wives are supposed to be a help meet to their husbands. No biggie, I already got that. We are a team, we work together and I do my part at home so I can allow Marshall to do all he needs to do as a father and husband. Makes sense. I think I've got that one covered.

Then the lesson moved on about children and one sister commented about how we should be our children's biggest advocates because who else is going to? Great thought. And then came my moment of light. As help meets to our husbands, should we not also be their biggest advocate? Now I already knew this to a degree because I try to never paint my husband in a negative light in public. Other women may ramble on about their husband's shortcomings, but I will not. However, at home, as a result of my perfectionist nature, I do not have any problem telling my husband his faults. Am I really doing my job to build him up when I do that?

Now you know me and so better not assume that I mean you should turn a blind eye to everything your husband does. Obviously you need to communicate concerns that are creating rifts in you relationship. No brainer there, right? But we as women tend to sometimes nitpick. At least I do and I openly admit it. And that type of negativity can bring a husband down. After spending all day at work dealing with sometimes crabby clients and bosses, the last thing my husband needs is to hear how he can't sweep the floor very well when he helps to clean up dinner. So why make a big deal out of stupid little things? Or even the bigger things. My husband and I show affection for each other in different ways. I am more one to use words and he is more one to use actions and kind deeds. Instead of getting upset at him for not writing me sonnets or showering me with long romantic speeches, wouldn't it be better to notice what he does do to show his love for me? Focusing on the positive, rather than the negative will have lasting happy results to our marriage.

Let's face it, we're not perfect. If you think you are without flaw, then you must be smoking crack. I do all sorts of stupid things and yet my husband rarely criticizes or corrects me in private, and never in public. I wish I could say the same of myself. Why is he that way? Because he doesn't see a big deal or the need of focusing on every little thing I do wrong. And he probably understands that I'll end up feeling smaller than an ant if he constantly points out my shortcomings.

So I am going to try to be a better help meet in that I work to build my husband up in private too. I want him feeling like he is a good father and amazing spouse because he is. After all, as his wife, shouldn't I be his biggest advocate and fan club?

The Dynamic Duo

Today I finished Batman and Robin for Rachel. They look pretty awesome, if I do say so myself. Anna is busily pondering what to have painted on her wall, but for now Mom needs a rest.

Who Says You Can't Fly?

Random

- I find it disturbing that my kids didn't learn anything about 9-11 in school last week. Can't we take a little bit of time out of the curriculum to talk about why that day is special? I thought we weren't supposed to forget. Not mentioning it in school is one way it will be forgotten. It's unacceptable. I am glad I told my kids why it was a special day and what happened. They need to know.

-Wives do have it harder than husbands, but not for the reasons you may think. If I am overwhelmed at home, my husband can step in and help out when he can. But if he is going through a hard time at work, I can't come in to the office and knock a few heads around (no matter how tempting) to make things all better. It's hard to know that I can't help when things are crazy for him.

-Why do people comment on the number of children you have? Like it's any of their business how many you have. Unless they are involved in making the actual baby, then they need to butt out. But that doesn't stop people from asking. Maybe next time someone asks about baby numbers I'll tell them I'm not sure, but we stay in good form by practicing multiple times a day. ;)

-I love apples. This time of year always makes me want to make apple pie and crisp and pumpkin bread and cookies. It's the fat time of year. Not to mention Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas coming.

-And yet it's hard to think it's Fall when it's still 95+ outside. What a sick and twisted place I live in.

-Jimmy cannot live unless he is constantly consuming strawberry milk or apple juice. Well, he thinks he'll die without it. I disagree. Three year old tantrums are the pits.

-People who can cut out sugar from their diet amaze and scare me. How do they live?

-I think I could just sleep for a day.

-It's always darkest before someone turns on the light.

Jacob's New Trick

Marshall's Curse

I had to chuckle at this Pickles comic today because it is so very true. Bless his heart, but Marshall is cursed because he can never find anything, even if it is on the tip of his nose. Chances are if he is looking for something, I'll go search and find it within seconds after he has tired himself from hunting for the missing item. At least in one thing in our marriage I am the one who rocks!

Dear Mr. President . . .

Dear President Obama,

I think you may be confused about your job. Let me clarify a few things so as to help you out. First, you are not my mom. If you tell me to eat my vegetables and I don't want to, I don't have to. Likewise, if you tell me I must accept your health care plan and I don't want to, I don't have to. You don't know what is best for me. I'm not lying or being forced to oppose you by some insurance company, I just don't agree with your plan. So don't ignore me and tell me you know best because you're not my mama.

Second, I think you may have forgotten that our government is supposed to be "for the people and by the people" not "for Obama and by Obama". Every President has had opposition to his plans, that's just part of how politics work. That is okay. You need to accept the fact that not everyone is enamored with you or agrees with your plans. And you need to let them have a voice. No one wants to play with the crabby kid who insists he is always right. No one likes that kid. If you really want to do a good job as President, by actually caring about the people of our country, you need to listen to what we have to say.

Which leads me to my third point of concern . . . you say the time has come for the fighting to stop over this health care plan. Honey, it's only going to stop once you stop being a hard headed know-it-all and really make some changes that we want. Part of politics is compromising and you refuse to do that with your magic plan. We don't like that, see above about being a government for all of us, not just you. We have rights and concerns too and we want to make sure they are being heard and taken into account when health care reform is passed. We'll only stop fighting once you start listening.

You are not our dictator, but our president. Start acting like it.

Sincerely,

A Concerned American

Superman

We moved Rachel and Jimmy into the same room. Since they both love superheroes, I promised them a superhero room. I knew I could paint their walls for much cheaper than buying decor. This Tuesday I started on Superman for Jimmy and now he's done. If I do say so for myself, I rock. I had so much fun putting my artistic talents to use. Next up is the Dynamic Duo, Batman and Robin, for Rachel's wall.

Where Were You When It Happened?

I had just gotten in to work and my coworker asked if I had heard about some planes crashing into buildings in New York. I had no idea what she was talking about. I remember we all sat and listened to the radio and tv with nervous anticipation about what had happened. As the news reports kept coming in I felt my heart drop. How could somehow actually do such a thing, fly an airplane into a building on purpose? Then we learned there had been two planes, the attack on the Pentagon, and then the crash in Pennsylvania. I had to call my family out there to make sure they were okay because we didn't know where in PA the plane had crashed. I remember being glued to the tv for a week every evening after work to find out more and more what has happening and what would be done. I remember being very proud of President Bush and his fierce defiance against terrorism. It was a crazy, scary time that I will never forget. Eight years later those emotions can still be felt and my pride in America is still as strong. I will always feel a quiet reverance on September 11th for the many Americans who lost their lives. I may not always agree with the politics of our President, but I am proud to be an American and love the land I call home.

Surprisingly Good Read

I know this is harsh, but I feel about Russian literature the way I do about waiting in the doctor's office for an extended period of time while being forced to listen to muzak and having nothing to read. I've never really had any interest to read "Crime and Punishment", but knew I should since it was a classic. Yet that didn't motivate me until this summer when my niece recommended it. Then my husband read it and liked it and so I knew I had to take the plunge.

Well, I stand corrected on this one. I was pleasantly surprised. From the very beginning I was sucked into Dostoevsky's world. I do admit I struggled a little in the middle, but still was intrigued enough to keep reading to find out what happens. We take a trip deep into the psyche of our main character that ends up fascinating and finally promising. Plus we are introduced into a world unlike our own filled with problems we can scarce imagine. If you're in for a good heavy read, I'd definitely recommend this book. It was well worth the time.

Easy usually isn't best

"Wickedness never was happiness". Is there a more true statement than that? No matter how much you dress up sin with ribbons, bows, and sparkling paper, it still will lead to misery. There is just no way around it and you're a moron to think otherwise.

I recently had someone comment to me, "Well, it's better than being alone. Anything is better than being alone", when talking to me about her choice to re-enter a dysfunctional relationship after being lonely for too long. I object! If being alone means that one can be happy, like what she sees in the mirror every day, and follow the path she wants in life, then be all means sign up for solitude! There's nothing better than finding inner peace and harmony and sometimes that means you have to make some tough choices that may not be so fun. That is part of life.

I cannot tell you how many family and friends I have watched repeatedly throw themselves into miserable situations so as to avoid a looming uncomfortable, and often painful, decision. They think by choosing the quick option, their problems will be solved, or at least go away for a bit. And maybe life will be smooth for a time, but eventually, and believe me it always happens, those problems will come back doubled as a result of taking the "easy route". Living a life without responsibility only brings about years of pain, misery, and numerous problems. No matter how tempting the easy choice may be, it will never be the final solution.

We live in a world of lazy adults. Everyone wants a free pass through life. "Don't make me accountable for my actions! It's my life!" Well guess what genius, your life affects the lives of those around you. And sometimes you have to put on your "big boy pants" and deal with the nitty gritty. I remember the first time one of my kids threw up and I thought "I wish my mom were here to clean it up." Then I realized, with horror, that I was now the mom who had to clean up all those nasty bodily function mishaps that happen with children. Ugh! But I did it! Can you imagine how disgusting my home would be if I let it all sit for someone else to take care of? Maybe it would help if we looked at our lives in that perspective. No one is going to fix your problems for you, except you. So get off your butt and do something about it! Whining, ignoring, or avoiding it isn't going to help. And continuing to make stupid choices is going to make a much bigger mess than what you began with.

I'd love it if people would use their brains for a minute. Not what society tells them to believe, but actually thought about what they can do to improve their lives and find happiness, the tough answers. It may take some painful self reflecting, counseling, or, (gasp) change, but it would be far more beneficial than running blindly into a whole new chapter of misery.

Outside Exploration

Just because everyone could use some more cuteness in their lives, here are some pictures of Jacob I took yesterday. He LOVES to be outside and explore. So far he hasn't eaten too many rocks. He just likes to figure things out. I love the shot of him trying to pick grass or something out of his toes. What a cutie!

Gremlin Problem

I don't know about you, but I think there must be a gremlin hiding somewhere in my bank account, bent on wreaking havoc and keeping balances low. He keeps tabs on when we have saved to a certain amount and then makes sure that something has to occur to suck away that money. No lie. Whether it be a medical bill or house need, he keeps those random expenses coming.

We did something foolish this summer and went on a vacation back to Pennsylvania to visit my family. No small undertaking for one's wallet. Well, that got the gremlin mad because we're not supposed to spend our own money on ourselves. He threw at us a random medical bills, baby bill, and a leaky ceiling. "No saving for you! Bwhahahaha!", he said. Just wait until he hears that we are saving to put sod in our back yard. "Your yard will forever be an eternal mud pit of doom!", he'll shriek in delight while erasing our hard saved dough.

I know, you say, life comes with it's ups and downs. Random things always happen, which doesn't make them random after all. But I swear there must be some evil force at work on my bank account because it's getting to the point of ridiculousness. I don't know if you all have gremlins, but I do. I mean, what else could it be?