I recently received a harsh email from a relative, accusing me of supporting immoral behavior and railing on me for being judgemental and cruel. Needless to say, I was very shocked and hurt at first. My initial reaction was to write back and defend myself against such lies. I was mad. But I was hesitant because I knew that person would not see the truth since he had already distorted my original view on the subject at hand. I didn't see what good would come from furthering the debate. It would only add fuel to a raging fire and pull me down as a result of a senseless debate. I knew the people who mattered in the situation were well aware of my feelings on the matter.
By doing nothing, I came to understand and see the wisdom in "turning the other cheek". We are counseled to do so in the scriptures, but it's not always the easiest thing to attempt. Believe me, I am one that is quick to fire up and get heated over something, especially when someone falsely accuses me of something. I am a very passionate person. However, this time I didn't and the moment I decided not to act, this relative no longer had any power over me. My anger quickly subsided and I got over the whole incident. Instead of anger, I felt compassion for this person who felt the need to lash out at someone because he himself is miserable.
Wow! We live in a world that follows the mantra "an eye for an eye". If someone burns you, you need to get them back twice as badly. It's your right and you deserve it. But this kind of behavior doesn't fix anything. It perpetuates the problem and those involved completely give themselves over the to spirit of contention. No wonder there is so much bitterness in the world! However, the idea of "turning the other cheek" stops what could be a hate and spite filled situation cold. The spirit of contention is cut down, leaving the "cheek turner" in complete control of himself, instead of losing self control to rage. The other party involved may not ever stop hassling the one who decides to let go, but their power is completely lost. It is a wonderful feeling and very liberating. For me, I don't fear what this person has or may say about me. It doesn't matter because I know the truth and the people who matter know the truth. And more importantly, I have no appetite to "bite" at the temptation of falling into a huge argument over the matter. Not worth it!
As a child it never did make sense to me to turn the other cheek. How can someone do that? You can't just back down from a challenge! It's not fair! True, life isn't always fair, but walking away from such a situation takes a lot more strength and control than continuing it further. The Lord knew that by avoiding such pitfalls we would truly triumph and be free from yet another snare of the adversary.
2 comments:
I hate to say this, but this relative must not really know you, Sue. You do not advocate immorality nor are you judgmental and you are definately not cruel. You are one of the most Christlike people I know. There is wisdom in what you say, and good for you for turning the other cheek! It is hard. You deserve a standing ovation! Love you!
This is so profound and thought-provoking. I would also be tempted to write back in anger, defending myself, but you're so right--refusing to get drawn into a futile argument frees you from his control. You don't need to prove anything to him. I really admire the way you've handled this situation.
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