Ever Learning About Marriage

I am a continuing student in the study of marriage. I love to read and learn about marriage and how to make something great even better. The minute you tell someone you are reading a book on marriage, most people assume it is because you have marital problems. Not so. Why wait to fix something that is already broken when you could prevent the damage in the first place?

Let's talk cars for a minute. Pretend that after years of hard working, saving, and sacrificing, you are going to buy yourself a brand new sports car with all the "bells and whistles". You've worked hard for this car and are going to enjoy every minute of it. But after saving all that money, you opt out of buying a warranty on your car because it's no big deal. And you really don't have time to take it in to get serviced every 3,000 miles like the manufacture suggests. Don't they just tell you that to make money off of you? Won't your car still run fine without regular maintenance? It's not like you're going to go off-roading with this beauty. So you never take her to the shop. It's new, it should last awhile.

Now I'm not going to tell you all the ways your sweet new ride can meet an untimely demise thanks to your neglect. Just because it's new doesn't mean it will last forever. Not taking your car in to be serviced, such as for an oil change, on a regular basis, is going to cut it's life span down by a lot. By neglecting it you will be wasting all that hard earned money and sacrifice because you were too lazy to follow through with maintaining your car. Your car would last thousands of miles longer if you took the time to give it some attention now and again.

The same thing applies with marriage. Too many people believe that after all the work and sacrifice to get married that the marriage will just take care of itself. When kids and "real life" set in there just isn't enough time or energy to nurture the marriage. They sweep minor problems under the carpet because they are just small. Things will work out on their own. Reading marriage advice books or going to counseling is for people who have big problems in their relationship, right? Yet far too many marriages break up because the couple never "serviced" their relationship.

I don't know about you, but I don't want by marriage to just be "getting by". That doesn't sound like much fun to anyone. Which is why I enjoy learning, from good sources (you do have to be careful), more about marriage and the nature of men and women. I want to be the happiest I can be in my marriage and feel close to my husband. I want the joy promised to us now and throughout time.


I recently read, "How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It" and thoroughly enjoyed it. I admit, there was some cheese at times, but not too much to turn me away from it. And I am glad I kept reading on because I learned a lot about myself and my husband, what motivates us and causes us to react the way we do to each other. There were times when I read to my husband directly from the book because it explained us so perfectly. The whole idea of the book is to help couples better understand each other so they can feel closer connected without having to do a lot of work. While reading about men, I already felt better connected to my husband without him doing anything because I understood him better. Pretty cool! And because he is such a great guy, my husband is reading the book next.

I'm not saying you have to read the book, but I do want to pass along whenever I find something that helps us progress in a better marriage. I do think you should continually nurture your marriage. Prophets and apostles have been telling that to us for YEARS. When I am 85 and have been married for many, many years, my relationship is still going to be a beautiful shiny sweet sports car, now with the value of years added. What about you?