To bottle feed or breast feed? There are lots of information on both sides that point to the benefits of both, but only bottle feeding seems to have a negative connotation associated with it. I used to think "breast was best" thanks to my brain washing by the La Leche League, but then I had my third child and the experience changed my opinion on formula.
I had had no problem feeding my first two babies, but for some reason Jimmy and I never clicked. It wasn't the same. And he had thrush really bad, which made nursing him stressful for both of us. Then at two weeks he spent a few days in the hospital due to some random virus. I tried to pump and keep up with him, but I just couldn't and lost my supply. I finally gave up and decided to bottle feed him.
Oh what a struggle that was! I felt like such a failure as a mom. I worried we wouldn't be able to bond the same as I had with my other babies. I feared that he wouldn't be as healthy if he had formula. But then we started on the bottle and I loved it! All the stress that had been there was gone. I knew he was getting food and so feedings were an enjoyable experience for us both. I've never been one of those women who just loves to breast feed and secretly I was relieved that pressure was gone. I felt like I could enjoy my baby more and relax.
Now with number four approaching, I am dealing with the great debate about how to feed. My husband says I should do what is best for me and not worry what others think. And he is right. But I am also a woman and so have that whole guilt thing going on. Deep down I really think I want to bottle feed. Last time it was such an enjoyable and happy situation. I did not feel the stress I did with breast feeding my other children. Plus it gave us all the chance to take turns feeding. But then I also feel guilty if I don't at least trying to breast feed. Plus, bottle feeding is more expensive than the alternative. And what will other people think of me? Stupid, right? But I've known people to look down their noses at moms who choose the bottle. But then bottle feeding will make my life so much easier now with my husband in such high demand in his calling.
Who knows what I'll do? All I know is that I want to do what is best for me and the baby. I want to be able to enjoy him and not feel any stress or pressure. I just need to decide and be proud of my decision and ability to make wise choices for me and my baby. And I need to ignore any guilt I feel either way. Now to decide . . .
8 comments:
Sue,
I say do what's best for you. I bottle fed my first child and nursed my others. But by the time they were six months, I was ready to be done!!! I wanted my body back. Hallelujah, they took a bottle. If people look down on you for whatever decision you make, then shame on them. What's most important is that you and the baby are both happy. Good luck in your decision. We can't wait to see pictures of the new little guy. We hope all goes well with the delivery. Miss you tons.
Sue, what is best for your baby is the health and sanity of his mother. That means if bottle feeding is less stressful for you, bottle feed. They make amazing forumula these days. Don't feel guilty for one instant about giving your baby a bottle instead of breastfeeding. And if anyone gives you a hard time just say "Thank you for your concern, but he is doing just fine." Then leave. This is a very personal decision and you can be proud of your choice either way. You are an awesome mom!
Hi dearest! You know I am a spaz about nursing, but that doesn't mean I look down on people who don't nurse. I mean, even Sam thinks I am a little bit nuts about it. So, just do what is best for you, especially since you don't need any more stress since Marshall will be gone. Either way, you'll still be a fabulous mom, and he won't love you any less because he was or wasn't breast fed. Good luck. Hang in there. You're almost done! Whoo hoo! Make sure you get pictures out soon.
Oh, and I forgot to say, that the bonding thing is crap. Sorry, but this issue really bugs me. You can bond with your baby just as well through bottle feeding. You can snuggle and rock and hold him close, just like if you were breastfeeding. And besides, breastfeeding is not much of a bonding experience if you are both constantly stressed out.
And yes it is more expensive, but isn't that why you married a lawyer, so you could be supported in style? :)
I'm a nurse-in-public hippie type, but I have a case of formula sitting around. If Jacob wants it, I'll ship it to you guys. It looks like Daniel doesn't have much interest in it.
Thanks everyone. As you can tell, I feel way too much guilt.
And Annjeanette, I don't want you to think I think you look down on people who bottle feed, because I don't.
The cost of formula isn't the issue, it's just the idea of spending money on something you can do yourself. Make sense?
Thanks for your support and kind words.
That question does not have a right or wrong answer. I wanted to bottle feed but honestly we could not afford it. So nursing worked best for me. No matter what you decide, it will be what's right for you and Jacob.
As for spending money on something you could do yourself--that applies to almost everything. You could dig your own latrine instead of plumbing or walk everywhere instead of drive.
After all some very fine people were bottle fed. Like me!
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