"The Twelve Days of Christmas" by Lee Greenwood is a fun song, but I often find it annoying. And it's really not practical for my needs. I really don't want a bunch of noisy stinky birds, men leaping around in tights, milk maids, rings, and all sorts of loud chaos. If my "true love" really loved me, he'd know better. So I came up with my own version of the song, one I find more practical to my needs and one I can only dream of coming true.
On the first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A Jimmy using big boy undies
On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.
On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five rotating personal chefs,
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six 24 hour maids,
Five rotating personal chefs,
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven weekly dates,
Six 24 hour maids,
Five rotating personal chefs,
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight perfectly fitting bras,
Seven weekly dates,
Six 24 hour maids,
Five rotating personal chefs,
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine personal trainers,
Eight perfectly fitting bras,
Seven weekly dates,
Six 24 hour maids,
Five rotating personal chefs,
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.
On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten pounds less of baby weight,
Nine personal trainers,
Eight perfectly fitting bras,
Seven weekly dates,
Six 24 hour maids,
Five rotating personal chefs,
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven days at Disneyland,
Ten pounds less of baby weight,
Nine personal trainers,
Eight perfectly fitting bras,
Seven weekly dates,
Six 24 hour maids,
Five rotating personal chefs,
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies.
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve hours of undisturbed sleep,
Eleven days at Disneyland,
Ten pounds less of baby weight,
Nine personal trainers,
Eight perfectly fitting bras,
Seven weekly dates,
Six 24 hour maids,
Five rotating personal chefs,
Four daily back rubs,
Three non-crabby kids,
Two hours of labor and delivery,
And a Jimmy using big boy undies!
8 comments:
Sounds great! Sign me up.
Oh my goodness, you are so funny. I like your version too.
That undisturbed sleep and fitting bra things are strictly fantasies. Sorry.
One can dream, Evil HR, one can dream.
I love it! Although I don't think you will be getting much undisturbed sleep for awhile.
Love it! You are so creative. Although, I have to agree. A good fitting bra is something that is unattainable! Grrrr....
Priceless!! So creative too. Your imagination knows no bounds!! Judy
That is perfect, I like yours way better than the original. Send the kids my way if you are in need of a break, Aidan is always begging to play with his "friend".
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