It's Real

I recently had a conversation with a friend about depression. Knowing that I have struggled with it for years, she asked me for advice since she is having a really bad time with post-partum depression. She was afraid to seek help, worried that she would become another "Utah statistic" if she went on medication. She was worried about what her mother would think since her mom looks down on anti-depressants. Overall, she had a hard time admitting that she may need help. I did my best to counsel and console her and will be checking up to see how she is doing. Our conversation reminded me how tricky a disease depression is and that some people are complete idiots, her mom, when dealing with it.

Depression can happen for a number of reasons like a traumatic event, chemical imbalance, hormones, stress, etc. It's a real disease and not one that should go untreated. Counseling and medication can help to alleviate and even rid the sufferer of it. Even so, a person can spend their whole life battling depression.

My friend was worried about becoming a statistic. I say "Who cares?" There was a study done that showed that a large number of Utah women are on anti-depressants, trying to show some correlation between depression and the LDS lifestyle. I say "Who cares?" To me that study seems to cheapen the suffering of those women. I am sure, like with any disease, some people are on anti-depressants that shouldn't be. But what about those that need them and couldn't function without them? It's not like they chose to have depression. If I had breast cancer I would become another breast cancer statistic. Does that make me bad? As for any correlation between depression and the Gospel, I'm not even going to go there. I live in Utah, yes. But my depression is largely a result of the trauma and stress I experienced as a child. If I lived in Alaska, I'd still be struggling.

My friend's mom looks down upon people who take anti-depressants. One thing I cannot tolerate is ignorance. If I had cancer, wouldn't I be a fool if I told the doctor I wasn't going to seek treatment because I could fix it myself? Yes, by sure will power I could "think" myself better. Stupid, right? Well, the same goes for depression. Often people think "it's all in your head and you're not trying hard enough to think positive." Smack upside the head! It's hard to explain to someone what living with depression is like when they've never experienced. Just like I cannot fully comprehend what diabetes, cancer, infertility, or blindness is like since I've never had those challenges. But it's real. Can you imagine telling someone with cancer that they are weak because they got cancer? How cruel would that be? Well, then why think someone is weak because they have depression?

Too often people who are struggling with depression put off seeking help because they are afraid. I know I kept saying "Maybe after this stressful thing passes it will get better." Then I found myself saying it over and over again until one day I realized "This is stupid, why suffer any longer!" I got help and my life is a million times better. I still have rough days and have a hard time seeing myself as the beautiful capable woman that my husband does, but I am improving each day. Just think, if a loved one you knew had cancer, you'd want them to seek treatment. You'd
think them a fool to deny the existence of the disease in their body or refuse anything that could help alleviate their pain. The same applies for depression.

And seeking help is much better than the alternative. Not only does untreated depression mean needless suffering, but also can lead to abusive or fatal consequences. Sadly, we've often heard in the news about people taking their lives, and even their children's lives, because they lost the battle with depression. That's a statistic I don't want to become. The same applies if I had a cut in my leg that got infected and I refused to have it treated. I could end up losing my leg or life because of the infection spreading. What a tragedy because I could have done something to prevent it. Do you see what I am saying?

I don't know why some things are allowed to happen. I have often wished that I could live life without the heavy burden that I carry. What would that be like? But seeking help and turning to the Lord has strengthened me greatly. If not in this life, then in the next I will find peace. What I do know is that depression is a real disease. Anyone who says otherwise will get a shift kick in the pants from me. Any pain they may feel afterwards, I'll assure them it's "all in their head."

My Arch Nemesis

I've always wondered why at age two children can't just automatically start using the potty. I mean when a girl hits puberty her body knows to start the period and grow a chest. Why not have some hormones that hit at the toddler age that make kids have the urge to use the potty from then on? Would it be too much to ask?

I hate potty training. It is just evil. It's worse for me too because I hate germs and so the idea of any bodily accidents happening on my carpet make me want to scream. I admit that when Anna was being potty trained, I taped down a plastic tarp over the carpet to avoid any of the above happening. Great idea until she peed on the plastic and slipped and fell. So I had to tear up the plastic. (Now you know how truly insane I am. It is funny to think back to now.)

Our kids have been relatively easy to train. Rachel was using the potty by 18 months. I swore I would never be one of those moms who didn't potty train by age 3 and then came Jimmy. I tried, somewhat, when I was pregnant, but was too tired, big, and sick to really chase him around with the potty. Jimmy had little interest and didn't want to be bothered. Now Jacob is here and demands on being held while awake and wears me out in a new way. Jimmy is terrified of letting loose in the potty and is as stubborn as they come. We've promised stickers, lollipops, gum, and whatever else we can throw out. Shoot, I'd be willing to fly to Metropolis and kidnap Superman if bringing him to Jimmy would motivate the boy to go pee on the pot!

Of course, being the perfectionist I am, I feel like a complete failure for not having him trained yet. (Remember, me and guilt. Great friends.) But I know one day he will actually use the toilet. I mean, I don't think he can go on a mission in diapers, right?

Hot Item!

The other day while I was perusing one of the many silly catalogs I get in the mail, I came across something hilarious. Maybe you won't find it as funny as I did, but I thought it seemed pointless and goofy. It was a set of washing machine and dryer covers. We're talking cutesy fabric with buttons and designs made to fit over your laundry appliances. (Sorry for the small picture, but it's copyrighted so it's the best I could do. Dang lawyers!)

My first thought when I saw said covers was "You've got to be kidding me!" I cannot imagine a time in my life when my washing machine will be so underused that I can actually slip a cover over it. Is that possible? Multiple times a day I am tossing in some soiled piece of clothing to wash in the next load. To have a cover on it would be so annoying because I'd be ripping it off every hour or so.

Then I thought maybe it's for people who like to make their laundry room look nice. Seriously, though, who is going to be spending time in your laundry room? Yeah, that's the room in the house that I take all my guests to first. I want to be the talk of the ward because of my adorable laundry room.

Ethel: "Oh Mabelle! Have you seen Sue's new washing machine cover?"
Mabelle: "Why yes, Ethel. It is to die for!"
Ethel: "I know! I am just pea green with envy! I must get one myself."
Mabelle: "That Sue! She is always on the cutting edge of laundry decor!"

Right. I'd rather leave the door closed to the laundry room and steer guests away from it. It's where I wash clothes. Wow.

Or perhaps the covers are to help create the illusion that the washer and dryer aren't really there. Where did they go? They've been replaced by a cutesy lump of fabric. Who knew? They must be magic disappearing appliances. It's like the idea for toaster covers. "Oh! I don't know what's under there! Can't tell at all by the shape and size! No sirree. It's a mystery!"

C'mon people. Laundry appliance covers are made for people with too much time and worry on their hands. Like for some crazy grandma who knits doilies for every surface in her house. Everything must be covered! Do I really care what your washing machine and laundry room look like? Not really. I don't particularly want to see your laundry room . I have enough bonding time with my own, thank you. So don't try to lure me in with an adorable fabric cover. I won't be fooled, I'll know what you're hiding.

Smile!

Watch out for leprechauns!

I love holidays. Anyone who knows me knows that I like to decorate for holidays. It's fun and makes a home look cute and welcoming. I grew up in a festive home and love to keep the tradition alive.

After we got married I was surprised to find out from my husband that he didn't do anything for St. Patrick's Day. I know, it's a big drinking holiday and unless you are heading to the bar to slug a dozen back, what's the big deal, right? But I grew up with having St. Patrick's Day decorations at my house and a green themed meal every year. My mom would wear green and go as far to dye mashed potatoes and applesauce green for our St. Paddy's Day meal. It also included lime Jell-o and shamrock shaped green sugar cookies. We're serious about our holidays. So I was bummed that my husband didn't share my love for this little Irish holiday. Plus I couldn't figure out a way to really celebrate it. We don't drink and our kids would probably rather starve than eat something that is bright green. My holiday spirit was being crushed. What to do?

Then last year Anna had a leprechaun come visit her kindergarten classroom while the class was at the gym. That tricky little fellow left green footprints all over the room, messed up some things, and left a treat. The kids thought it was great and Anna came home truly believing in leprechauns. She hoped one would come visit our house and, thanks to some quick thinking parents, one did and he even left a treat. The girls still talk about how that sneaky green man threw dress-ups all over their room and even hung one from the top of their door. How did he do that? They can't wait to see what he does this year. Jimmy hopes his room will get hit too. So now, thanks to a very creative kindergarten teacher, I have a way to celebrate St. Patrick's Day again. Balance has been restored to the universe and I can decorate and get excited for a holiday I love. Hopefully I can help my kids build sweet memories of it just like my mom did for me.

New Toy

Today we put together our swing set. We have been talking about getting one for some time, but when we finally went to purchase one, the store was out of them. So we ordered one from Wal-mart, live the site-to-store shipping, and it arrived this week. The kids have been dying for us to get it and set it up. They almost didn't make it through us building it today, but they survived. It is a huge success and lots of fun. I didn't see the girls all afternoon. Jimmy had fun being pushed on the swing and yelling "I'm flying like Superman! I get bad guys and save people!" It was adorable. I love our new toy!

Let's Get Positive

Imagine yourselves on the wintry Pennsylvania shores of the Delaware River, scraping together a meager meal of weevil infested hardtack and a watery broth consisting of one rotten potato. Your leader, your great commander, George Washington, has let it be known that shortly you will be crossing the Delaware and braving all odds in the night to surprise the British troops. You're tired, half frozen, starving, and haven't seen any pay since signing up. General Washington gathers the troops for a rousing speech before heading out on a last attempt to save the Continental Army's hopes for winning the war. This is what follows:

"Men, we are doomed. I know you have fought much, starved much, and lost much, but it has all been in vain. The British are far more prepared than we are. They have larger numbers, better equipment, training, supplies, and cool uniforms. Most of you barely have shoes to cover your feet. I know we have been saying the cause we are fighting for is a good one, but I just can't see us winning. We're tired and beaten. Turn around and run the other way as far and as long as your poor legs will carry you. Don't you know that we will be hung if caught for our treasonous acts against the Crown? We don't stand a chance. And if you think you'll get paid to send some small pittance to help sustain your family, think again. Congress is good for nothing and never tells me what is going on or answers my letters. The chances of them sending pay and back pay are nonexistent. If I were you, I'd just bury myself in the snow and go to sleep. Embrace death's warm slumber. But if any of you do want to join this pitiful attempt at victory, the boats are loading over there."

Wow. Talk about riveting. Can you imagine what would have happened if Washington was such a "positive" person and never really tried to rally his men towards the cause? History would be very different and we might all be having tea time and bad British teeth because of it. It would have been ludicrous for General Washington to give his men nothing to hope for when they were sacrificing so much for such a great cause.

I have thought about what a damaging affect such an attitude would have had on the struggling Continental Army as I have been hearing all the gloom and doom coming from our current President. I know the economy is bad. People are losing jobs, going into foreclosure, kissing retirement eggs goodbye, and suffering. It hits all ages from the very young to the elderly because less or no income affects the entire family that is being supported by said income. Okay, so things are a little bleak right now. But what we don't need is our President to be running around creating fear and panic in the people. Can you imagine your child coming to you in the night after having a bad dream about vampires and instead of comforting them you say "Ahh! You're right. Vampires are going to get us! Let's lock the doors, hide under the bed, and stay up all night shaking and screaming in fear!"? Not too smart, right? Any idiot can see the state of the economy right now. It's not hard to figure out. " What happened to all that "hope" we were promised?

Now I am not expecting President Obama to fix the economy overnight, unless he has a magic wand he has been holding back, but I do expect him to step up as a leader and give the people some hope. That's what leaders are supposed to do, especially good ones, and haven't we heard about how amazing and miraculous he is supposed to be? So stop selling doom and tell us that times will get better. It isn't going to stay this way forever, the economy will improve. It goes through cycles. We are Americans. We're tough. We can buckle down and pull through. There is hope. President Obama, if you really love this country and the people, then stop creating mass hysteria and act like a good leader that can help lead us through these tough times. I'll be waiting to see that happen, but I won't hold my breath.

Almost!

Sunday night Jacob was a rolling over fanatic. He has been doing it since he was five weeks old. Of course, when I got the camera ready he was too tired to do anymore. But I got a cute video of him almost rolling over. Enjoy!

Presidents Day

What I wouldn't give to have a President of the United States like George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, or James Madison. You know, someone with brains and a set of morals. What would that be like? I love President's Day because we take the time to actually think, if only for a second, about the great men, and idiots, who have served this country.

I can't imagine what it would be like to be the President. You'd immediately have people who hate you, oppose your views, and watch for any mistake or failure. You'd have the joy of inheriting the previous president's term with all the mess and political blunders that come with it. Yet people would blame you for the bad results of the previous presidency that occur during your term. And the best part would be that everything would be your fault. People would blame you for all the ills that befall the country, regardless of all other factors that contribute to such things. No, I wouldn't want to be the president for any amount of fame, glory, or money.

Two of my most favorite presidents are George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. Since I already dedicated a blog to Washington, we'll focus on Lincoln. Talk about intelligence. He came from nothing and rose up to become one of the greatest presidents in our history. Now some may argue that his greatness was cemented into history because of his assassination. I am sure that has something to do with it. I often wonder how he would have handled the mess after the Civil War known as Reconstruction. I don't think that period had any chance of playing out nicely in history. But I think he was a great president for what he did during his life. We talk about the chaotic economy now, but that is nothing compared to the country tearing itself in two over such hot issues that no solution seemed to be in sight. I mean, the South did establish the Confederacy and a presidency for itself after all. But Lincoln was not deterred and stood firm as the President. He never recognized the Confederacy as a separate government, but rather a group of rebellious states. He understood that the outcome of the Civil War would have long lasting affects on the nation. Many lives were lost in the cause, but he knew it was one worth sacrificing for. He fought for the abolition of slavery, knowing it's extinction would benefit and preserve the nation. Lincoln had many critics who, after watching Union defeat after Union defeat, thought him a fool to continue in the cause. But he persevered and finally found himself with some competent military leaders that helped the Union, along with other factors, achieve victory. During this all he remained the humble servant of the people. What a man!

I admire him for his intelligence, integrity, and humility. He knew his duty as President and the importance of defending the nation and people against anything or anyone that would rob them of their liberties. He did what he knew was best for the nation, often sacrificing his popularity, health, and eventually life for the cause. And yet he didn't complain or point fingers at everyone else for the mistakes that occurred during the war. And he easily could have gone on a rampage against some of his seriously idiotic generals. But he didn't. He wasn't perfect, but I don't think anyone else could have handled the Civil War like he did. How I wish we had such leaders today that were willing to sacrifice all and work to such extremes for the good of our nation.

Happy Valentine's Day

Well, all of you have been forced to hear how wonderful I am ever since Sue started this blog, but she has not had to deal with the same problem, so I will hereby embarrass her.

Why do I love Sue? I was asked that by some of my friends when I first became engaged to her. My first answer was that she was smart. She is much smarter than me. She is dedicated to learning, especially about the gospel, and her insights into life always help me in my own personal decisions.

She is loving. She cares about others and puts them first. She is always writing cards, sending plates of cookies, or doing anything she can to make someone else's day, including mine.

She loves the Lord. He comes first in her life. There are no exceptions. She has never hesitated to accept a calling or to support me in mine. She never will. She always reads her scriptures, even if it is while hiding in the bathroom, and she always seeks His counsel on everything. Just ask her about praying if we should go to Disneyland?

She is beautiful. Sometimes she forgets this, especially after having a baby, but she is beautiful. I love looking at her "beauteous visage" and look forward to many more times that I can gaze at her.

Too many more reasons to mention, but one of them is sitting on my lap throwing a royal fit, so I should end now. I love Sue, she is incredible. Being bishop makes people notice me a lot, but I wouldn't be close to who I am without her. I hit the jackpot when I married her, and I think about that every day.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Thank You Chester!

Good commercials are hard to come by, but when they are found they should be recognized. You all know how hilarious I thought those Swiffer "Mr. Mop" ones were. Well the same applies to the new Cheetos commercials. They are so witty and true. In them someone uses Cheetos to somehow get revenge on a well deserving annoying person. We've all met people who are just snotty and rude. People you wish you could do something totally awesome to that would burst their perfect little holier-than-thou bubbles. But, thank goodness, we don't let the natural man taken over. And, dang it, I've never been one to think of the perfect "comeback" at the right time anyhow. However, I love these commercials because they do it for me, fulfilling my evil desires for the perfect revenge. I couldn't find a video of my favorite one involving a snotty woman wearing white conversing with another mom at soccer practice. Let's just say it ends up with the mom, who is eating Cheetos, giving snotty mom a hug at the end. Hee-hee! Here is a link to my second favorite Cheetos commercial. Enjoy!

YouTube - Cheetos SuperBowl Commercial 2009 Ad - Pigeons

Good Advice

Sometimes life with three kids and a baby can be crazy, especially when your husband is a bishop. Lately I've found myself asking the question "Why?" to the Lord. Why does my husband have to be bishop now when our kids are so young and the burden can be overwhelming at times? Why not two or five years from now? I'm the kind of person who likes to know the reasons for the things, especially if it involves me. Unfortunately, we don't always get to know the "why" behind what happens in our lives.

Last night when my husband came home from church I shared with him my feelings of exhaustion and frustration with things. He has been bishop for almost a year and some days I feel like I haven't grown or learned anything from it. I told him about my wanting to know why and he gave me some great counsel. (Yeah, I know why he is a bishop. No questions there.)

He first told me a story that a sister from our ward shared with him. She is somehow related to President Monson through her grandmother. When her grandmother was dying of cancer, President Monson visited her in the hospital. The grandmother asked him "Why me?" Why did she have to go through all this suffering and pain? He immediately came back with "Why not you?" Good point. We learn from the scriptures that God is no respecter of persons, so why do we wonder "why me?" Tragedy and trials don't happen in our lives because God is picking on us, but rather because we all are mortal and susceptible to whatever life can throw at us. We are allowed to go through trials for a reason. None of us is immune from them. I had never thought "Why not me?"

Then Marshall told me that perhaps I was asking the Lord the wrong question. Instead of "Why?", I should try asking Him "How?" How does the Lord want to me to handle this situation? How can I serve through this opportunity? How can I help ward members as the bishop's wife?, etc. When we ask "why", we're still hung up on accepting the actual event that has taken place in our life. In a sense, we're in denial that it's happening to us. But when we ask "how", we are embracing our challenges and trying to figure out how we can live with them. No more focusing on how awful life is for us because we have to experience whatever hardship it is, but rather we look outwards and upwards and say "Okay, what now? Tell me how you want me to deal with this trial." We can move on and be able to learn and grow spiritually from the situation. Only then can we be refined into the person the Lord wants us to be.

So now instead of asking "why?", I have been asking "how?". It's only been a day, but I do feel a difference. I love this chance we have for my husband to serve as bishop. It has it's challenges, but the rewards far outweigh the sacrifice. Instead of crying over the injustice of it all, I am now focusing on how I can best serve as a bishop's wife. After all, "why not me?" Enough self pity, let's get on with life!

Cutie Jacob

Tonight I tried to take a video of Jacob's new trick, smiling. It didn't work out, but I did get a cute video of him anyhow. Enjoy!

What Really Matters

I'm so glad I am not a man. I know, I just finished my six week check-up with the doctor where he examined everything the good Lord gave me and then some, but I still am glad I am a woman. Valentine's Day is fast approaching and the societal pressure put on men to be the perfect Casanovas to their sweethearts is ever present. Commercials on tv for flowers, jewelery, etc. Don't mess up the big day or you're doomed, fellows! Women expect nothing less than fireworks, red carpets, rose petals on the bed, and anything else they've been exposed to in a romance movie or novel.

I feel bad for guys. I really do. I see this pressure put on them like one of those horrible nightmares where I have a class in college and it's finals time, but I've never attended the class. Except for guys it's like a taking a final in chemistry, but studying from an art history textbook that is 30 years out of date and printed backward and upside down. Failure is imminent. However, for those poor chaps out there it isn't a dream, but reality. And if they do screw it up, their woman will shun them for weeks for failing to show their "love" through silly material trinkets. Ahhh! The pressure!!

Now I admit, I love getting flowers! I often hint to my husband that he should bring me flowers when it's been a bad week. (Yes, I am so feminine and subtle) But I do not want my husband to stress about Valentine's Day. "Here honey, I know you are working a stressful busy job to support us, gone hours being bishop of our ward, trying your best to help at home, and attempting to meet every one's emotional demands put on you as a father and husband, but if you mess up Valentine's Day you're in for it!" Just doesn't sound very fair now, does it? It's a silly date on the calendar. I'd rather my husband be a thoughtful caring guy year round and not some jerk who goes all out once a year for a holiday.

To me, showing love for each other doesn't come in the form of flowers, poems, or chocolates. Those things are all nice to get, but love is really about what happens every day. Sorry Forrest Gump, but life isn't like a box of chocolates. There are some days that don't contain any sweet in them. Sick kids, unexpected bills, job loss, broken toilets, laundry, crabby bosses, late hours of work, burnt dinners, family crisis, and the list could go on and on. Sometimes life just stinks. It's true! But what matters is how you and your spouse weather the storms. Do you support each other? Do you care about how each other is feeling? If your spouse is having a bad day, do you bother to find out why or declare your day worse because of ...? There are so many little things we can do daily to show and nourish our love for each other. Patience, prayers, listening, a kiss, a hug, a "thank you", an email, a special dinner, a phone call from work, cuddling when the kids are distracted, enduring together when life is overbearing, etc. My husband and I try to thank each other every day for doing our separate jobs. I love to write him random emails expressing my appreciation for all he does for us. And I love getting unexpected messages in my "in-box" from him that talk about what an amazing mother and wife I am. It's great! Or when I know he is stressed with work and feeling overwhelmed, I ask him what I can to do make sure he is getting some unwinding time every day. Or there are days when he sends me to my room after walking in the door and seeing right away that I am about to blow my top at the kids. I could go on and on with examples.

I'd love it if my husband brought me flowers on Saturday, but it won't really matter. A beautiful bouquet of roses, though nice, won't keep my marriage going. It's the little daily actions and words that will. It's looking outside of ourselves and consider the needs of our spouses instead. That's what makes a relationship work. So stop the insanity and give your husband a break. Work together on the kind of love that lasts and leave the candy hearts and flowers to themselves.

Living in a world suffering from blindness

Have you ever been in a situation where the answer to a question is obvious, but for some reason no one but you realizes it? I remember sitting in college history classes during some discussions and wondering why no one could see the obvious answer to the question the professor was asking. (I am a genius after all.) Or when a friend or family member comes to you with problem and the solution is painfully simple. Of course, it is often easier to be outside of a situation to see the answer.

This morning as I read "Dear Abby", I felt like I was in one of those "duh" situations. A while back Abby got a letter from a woman who was upset that her husband took their 13 year-old son to a restaurant with "scantily clad" waitresses and then told him to keep it a secret. When the wife found out she was furious about it and the son sided with his father. Abby said the husband was out of line for trying to have the son keep it a secret from his mother. He shouldn't be doing things like that to his wife. So today someone wrote in wondering why it was such a big deal that the father asked this secret to be kept. This writer's argument being that a couple doesn't have to "know in down-to-the-minute detail everything a spouse/ lover has done while away from the other." What's the big deal about the secret? Abby agreed that she reacted strongly to the first letter, but still stood by her original answer that the husband shouldn't have tried to keep it a secret.

Okay, am I the only one with a brain here? Let's pretend the world has some morals and look at the obvious problem, the fact that the husband took his 13 year-old son to a place with half naked waitresses. Apparently I am the only one who found fault with that. Abby said "to me the important issue wasn't the amount of flesh being showing in the restaurant." The writer of today's letter stated she also didn't see that as a problem, "And why such a big deal over a little skin (and probably cleavage) showing? I often see less clothing on the young women when I'm out shopping for groceries!" Excuse me while I go bang my head on the wall due to the stupidity of all those involved in this issue. I too see women at the store who look like they forgot to get dressed for the day or who are competing to see if people can accurately guess their actual bra and panty size. However, it is one thing to run into them at the store and quite another to take a young teen to a place to purposely look at them. People don't go to those type of places for the food! Okay?! Taking the son there is sending a big message to the boy about women and their bodies. It's okay to see women as a pair of boobs and fantasize about their bodies. (Yeah, nothing wrong with that) The grocery store analogy doesn't work unless the father is also taking the son out in public to ogle over any scantily clad woman he sees. And yet staring at a woman in a tight top in the grocery store just wouldn't be appropriate.

I know, I am horribly "old fashioned". In a day and age where nobody really understands what feminism and equality among the sexes means I am teaching my girls that their value isn't found in their physical appearance and my boys that women are of divine worth and should be treated as such. My kids know that their bodies are sacred and that their behaviour should reflect that. Oh, I know, only a few see the obvious answer to the problem of divorce, teenage pregnancy, lack of respect and love in relationships, etc. I am sure Abby would tell me that I am the one overreacting if I wrote in my opinion on the matter. After all, it's not the "important issue".

According to Jimmy

Little kids say the best things without even realizing it in their innocence. Today I told the kids that Darci was going to come watch them on Monday morning when I went to the doctor. They wanted to know why I had to go to the doctor and I told them he had to check to make sure I was okay after having the baby. (my six week check-up) Jimmy then burst out with "Mom's going to the doctor so he can put a baby in her belly!" No, I am not having an affair with my doctor and I am not ready for another baby yet! But Jimmy may tell you different.

Oh, the irony!

I've been thinking lately how funny/ ironic adulthood is. There are certain things I loathed as a child and now love as an adult. If 6, 12, or even18 year-old Sue met the 29 year-old Sue, they'd be shocked and appalled at the person she has become. Well, they'd be pretty pleased, but they wouldn't be big fans of some of her habits and tastes. For example:

1. As a kid I remember my mom giving us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on wheat bread. Ugh. I hated wheat bread. I was so jealous of the kids whose parents weren't health nuts and let them eat evil, soft white bread. But now as an adult I love wheat or multi-grain bread. I bought it when my mom was here and have become obsessed with it!

2. The same applies to cereal. As a kid we had to eat healthy cereal. Getting something coated in sugar or with marshmallows was a treat beyond treats. I was determined to eat Fruity Pebbles in all it's diabetic inducing glory when I was an adult. However, now that I am older I cannot stand the stuff and would rather have a bowl of something that my body will actually be able to digest and use for good.

3. I remember working as a manager at Blockbuster and being at the store until 1 am. The next day I was out cold until 11 am. Ha! Try to get me to do that now. Even when I don't get lots of sleep I cannot stay in bed past 7, and that is considered sleeping in. I love to get up early, like 5:30-6 am, and get my day going. I get some quiet time to read my scriptures and exercise (soon) before the kids get up. I love it. Yes, freshman-in-college Sue would think I was insane.

4. Naps. I used to hate naps as I got older, just like my kids refuse to take them now. There was too much going on in the world! Who can think so sleep? No way! As an adult I would kill, and some days almost do, for a nap. Just let me doze off on the couch while the kids destroy the house and I'll be fine with that. I am sure it has everything to do with Mr. Jacob and the other kids. I'm all for siestas becoming a tradition here!

5. And since we are on the subject of sleep, let's talk about staying up late! New Year's Eve was awesome because we actually got to stay up late as we got older. Forget evil bedtimes. I thought it was so cool to be able to stay up late, as if I was now part of some secret society that only hip people could join. Even when I was older and engaged I managed to stay up until one in the morning and then get up at five in the morning for work. Not now. If you come to my house after 7 pm you will find me in my pj's. (And some people have been blessed to see me in all my bedtime glory.) It's like my body has developed an allergy to clothes so that by 6:30-7 pm each night I have to put on my jammies or crabbiness will result. I like to lounge for a few hours and then be in bed by 9:30-10 pm. Party on!

6. Being sick. It was so cool to be sick enough to stay home from school as a kid. Not puking or anything horrid liek that, but just enough to merit lying on the couch, watching tv, and getting pampered by mom. Now it's not so awesome because I am the mom. I don't think my kids are going to let me lay on the couch and wait on me. Dang! There are no "sick days" when you are an adult. It's the pits.

I could go on and on, but I'll save that for another blog. Even though I've become a boring adult, there are a few things that I will always love, just as I did as a child: the magic of Disneyland, Christmas Eve, the beach, ice cream, chocolate, playing outside, bike rides in the Spring, Wonder Woman, cartoons, Halloween, baking cookies, hide-n-seek, presents, and laughter. I guess I haven't completely let my former self down!

Keeping the "Agreement"

One of the best bits of marriage advice I've been given, and oh have I heard it all, has been the concept of "the agreement". (This came from someone who is an actual marriage counselor too so bonus!) It applies to every day living. What have you and your spouse agreed to be your roles in the marriage? For instance, in our marriage I stay at home with the kids while my husband goes to work. That's something that works for us, we are able to do, and we've agreed to. That means that when my husband is gone at work all day, late, or in meetings forever, I can't get mad at him because we agreed he would be the one to be out of the home.

It was an interesting concept to me when I first learned about it. I used to get upset sometimes when my husband was gone all day. It wasn't fair! He didn't have to deal with the craziness that can be when raising kids. But this concept helped me realize that we've agreed to do what we do and all that comes with it. Is it really fair that I get to take the kids swimming in the summer, to the pumpkin patch in the fall, play in the snow in the winter, and picnic at the park in spring all while my husband slaves away at the office? No. But we've agreed to do what we do and that means accepting all, both good and bad, that comes with it.

I was pondering about this last night and how I need to apply the same to my husband's calling as bishop. I am a passionate person and sometimes I get upset about him having to be gone, being at church later than expected, or when a surprise meeting, phone call, or visit happens. Grrr! It's not fair that he's gone even longer. What's up with that?

Then it hit me, I've made prior agreements with the Lord that I would do all that is asked of me, including letting my husband serve in a demanding calling. Yes, I support my husband because I love him, but more importantly because I love the Lord. I shouldn't get upset at my husband for having to be gone for long hours on top of his work schedule. This set-up has little to do with him and everything to do with a commitment I made with the Lord. If I want to get upset or frustrated with someone, it should be the Lord not my husband.

I am not insane.(yet) I don't go around yelling at the Lord and tempting Him to strike me down. But I do let Him know how I feel about things. I have no problem praying when I am an angry, overburdened, or frustrated with what the Lord has asked me to do. I've asked Him if He really knows what He is doing. (I know He does really.) I don't have a problem letting all my feelings out. And I think that is what the Lord wants. If we can't "let it all hang out", lay all of our weaknesses and faults at His feet, how will we ever become better people? There have been so many times when I have approached the Lord in an upset prayer that I have stood back up at the end, feeling renewed and at peace. Because when I pray and open my heart to the Lord, He can help me and truly give me the strength to overcome. Or if it doesn't happen right away, the peace comes later. There have been many times when I have prayed and not gotten the peace I have sought, only to be stunned into humility and comfort by something random later. Every time I have prayed freely and openly to the Lord, I have gotten what I needed to continue on the path I have covenanted to walk. It is amazing.

It's important to remember what and with whom we have made agreements. We can know what is expected of us and remember all it entails. It can be hard at times, but as long as we work together with our spouses or the Lord, depending on the agreement we're referring to, success will be the result. False blame will not be given. And if there are problems, we can know who to turn to with them. I can talk to my husband if something isn't working out in our agreement or I can go to the Lord and ask for help in the agreement I've made with Him. Either way, my relationship with both my spouse and the Lord is strengthened by recognizing and working within our agreement.

Random

1. My kids got a "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie at the library. Jimmy and Rachel love it and have declared themselves "injun turtles". We have the show on a lot, in fact, last night whenever I got up to feed Jacob, I had the theme song going through my head. Ahhh!'

2. Jacob was blessed yesterday. What a cutie. Marshall gave him a wonderful blessing.

3. I hate having a sore throat and headache from colds.

4. Poor Jacob has a cold. It's so hard for babies because they hate getting bulb syringed to get out the snot, but they also hate having a stuffy nose. He had a rough night. I hope he gets better soon.

5. Last night when Jimmy has saying goodbye to his grandparents, he ran up to each of them, gave them a hug, and then said "Kiss me!" He loved getting kisses from both Grandma and Granddad. It was sweet.

6. I'm tired of hearing about the bad economy and how the world is going to end. I know things are tough, but let's focus on happiness. There are still things in life to be happy about. It's not all gloom and doom.

7. I like Marshall to tell me in advance when he has meetings, etc. going on. Yesterday he told me that he will be gone next Sunday from 5:30pm on. I am glad he told me, but now crabby because I know he'll be gone. Can't win!

8. Jacob rolled over yesterday. I don't know if it was a fluke or not. But he was on his stomach and then was on his back. He's one strong little guy.

9. I feel like all my tops have shrunk after wearing maternity shirts for so long. I miss having nice long shirts to cover my belly, especially now.

10. And while we are on clothes, I am not liking getting used to having the feeling of pants on my waist. Maybe I'll like it better when I lose baby weight. Or maybe I'll just run around in overalls and mumus all day.

11. Why can't Jimmy and Rachel be nice? Why is Jimmy crying after they just went upstairs. Argh!

12. I love FaceBook. I have gotten in touch with tons of people from high school, old wards,etc. It's great. I am an addict.

13. Why did Rachel hit Jimmy with the marble slide?

14. Anna made us all Valentine's hearts that say "I love you". She is so sweet.

15. Even though she likes to beat on him, Rachel also loves to get white blankie and baby turtle for Jimmy when he is sad.

16. How is it possible for Marshall to get cuter every day? It's a mystery.