It's Real

I recently had a conversation with a friend about depression. Knowing that I have struggled with it for years, she asked me for advice since she is having a really bad time with post-partum depression. She was afraid to seek help, worried that she would become another "Utah statistic" if she went on medication. She was worried about what her mother would think since her mom looks down on anti-depressants. Overall, she had a hard time admitting that she may need help. I did my best to counsel and console her and will be checking up to see how she is doing. Our conversation reminded me how tricky a disease depression is and that some people are complete idiots, her mom, when dealing with it.

Depression can happen for a number of reasons like a traumatic event, chemical imbalance, hormones, stress, etc. It's a real disease and not one that should go untreated. Counseling and medication can help to alleviate and even rid the sufferer of it. Even so, a person can spend their whole life battling depression.

My friend was worried about becoming a statistic. I say "Who cares?" There was a study done that showed that a large number of Utah women are on anti-depressants, trying to show some correlation between depression and the LDS lifestyle. I say "Who cares?" To me that study seems to cheapen the suffering of those women. I am sure, like with any disease, some people are on anti-depressants that shouldn't be. But what about those that need them and couldn't function without them? It's not like they chose to have depression. If I had breast cancer I would become another breast cancer statistic. Does that make me bad? As for any correlation between depression and the Gospel, I'm not even going to go there. I live in Utah, yes. But my depression is largely a result of the trauma and stress I experienced as a child. If I lived in Alaska, I'd still be struggling.

My friend's mom looks down upon people who take anti-depressants. One thing I cannot tolerate is ignorance. If I had cancer, wouldn't I be a fool if I told the doctor I wasn't going to seek treatment because I could fix it myself? Yes, by sure will power I could "think" myself better. Stupid, right? Well, the same goes for depression. Often people think "it's all in your head and you're not trying hard enough to think positive." Smack upside the head! It's hard to explain to someone what living with depression is like when they've never experienced. Just like I cannot fully comprehend what diabetes, cancer, infertility, or blindness is like since I've never had those challenges. But it's real. Can you imagine telling someone with cancer that they are weak because they got cancer? How cruel would that be? Well, then why think someone is weak because they have depression?

Too often people who are struggling with depression put off seeking help because they are afraid. I know I kept saying "Maybe after this stressful thing passes it will get better." Then I found myself saying it over and over again until one day I realized "This is stupid, why suffer any longer!" I got help and my life is a million times better. I still have rough days and have a hard time seeing myself as the beautiful capable woman that my husband does, but I am improving each day. Just think, if a loved one you knew had cancer, you'd want them to seek treatment. You'd
think them a fool to deny the existence of the disease in their body or refuse anything that could help alleviate their pain. The same applies for depression.

And seeking help is much better than the alternative. Not only does untreated depression mean needless suffering, but also can lead to abusive or fatal consequences. Sadly, we've often heard in the news about people taking their lives, and even their children's lives, because they lost the battle with depression. That's a statistic I don't want to become. The same applies if I had a cut in my leg that got infected and I refused to have it treated. I could end up losing my leg or life because of the infection spreading. What a tragedy because I could have done something to prevent it. Do you see what I am saying?

I don't know why some things are allowed to happen. I have often wished that I could live life without the heavy burden that I carry. What would that be like? But seeking help and turning to the Lord has strengthened me greatly. If not in this life, then in the next I will find peace. What I do know is that depression is a real disease. Anyone who says otherwise will get a shift kick in the pants from me. Any pain they may feel afterwards, I'll assure them it's "all in their head."