I should have been a Catholic. You always here about "Catholic guilt" and I seem to have it by the truck loads. It doesn't help that I just had a baby and so my hormones/ emotions are still out of whack. Normally I feel way too much guilt about things, but now it's gone to the extreme. I forgot how emotional one is after giving birth. It's one of those things, like your stretched our stomach skin, that just doesn't magically disappear right after giving birth.
This morning as I was getting Jimmy ready for church he asked if I was coming too. When I told him "no" because I had to stay home with the baby, he was sad and very concerned about who would come with him. Enter the guilt. I really wish I could go to church with him and cuddle him, but felt so bad that I coudn't. Or how about the rest of the week when Marshall has had to take on extra work with the kids and house because I am recovering from childbirth? I can't just be grateful for his help, no, I have to feel guilty because I'm not helping. Oh my. Someone has some emotional craziness going on here.
But it doesn't just apply to guilt. The other night Marshall, Jacob, and I watched "Mama Mia". It's a very fun, feel good, musical movie. I love it and watching it makes me want to get up and dance. However, this time around I found myself bawling at two parts in the movie. The first part was when Meryl Streep is helping her daughter get ready for her wedding and is singing about how fast she grew up. Yep, here come the tears as I thought about Anna growing up and being in first grade already. The other part that got me going was when Meryl Streep sang "The Winner Takes It All", which is about her failed relationship with Pierce Brosnan. More gushing forth of tears. The funny thing was I knew I was crying, but couldn't stop it. Marshall did his best to comfort me through his giggles. He had no idea "Mama Mia" would be such a tear-jerker!
I asked Marshall which of the two "Sues" is better, the pregnant one or the new mom one. He said he prefers the normal me, but the new mom me is at least tolerable to be around. The pregnant Sue was a tad bit crabby at the end. But both are very emotional. Sigh. One day harmony will return to the planet. I won't feel guilty over everything, just most things, and I will be able to sit through a movie based on Abba's music without crying out my heart. Until then watch out for random tear episodes. They can happen at any time.
5 comments:
Wow! I can't believe he is already holding up his head. He is a strong little boy.
Okay, now for a little advice. Cry all you want. You deserve it. Take it from someone who cries over everything. Just to share with you my experiences. I have post-pardom for a year after my babies. But I learned a wonderful and amazing thing after my first. I sat in the waiting room three days after Cori was born and just cried. My doctor came in and said, lets give you an estrogen shot with Vitamin B12. I didn't know that they could do that. But at that point I was willing. I can't begin to tell how better I felt within a half an hour. I also had it after Jared. What a blessing. My doctor in Idaho would not give it to me with the middle two and I suffered and Jon suffered and the kids suffered. They say they don't like to because it could cause breast cancer in the future. I say, I will worry about that later if it keeps me from killing my family. Anyways, that's my advice. Take it or leave it. It helped me out a lot!!!!
Good luck and sorry for the long comment.
The growing up ABBA song always makes me cry abnd I never cry :)
Jacob is sooooo cute that the hormones are worth it (well, maybe hee hee)
You are probably already feeling better, but just know we think you are great! Its good you recognize the emotional rollercoaster for what it is- hormones adjusting, family adjusting, & some serious sleep deprivation. You're an AMAZING mom, wife, & friend. I wish we were close & could help.
ps- you deserve a medal for doing natural births in a hospital! (I tried twice & was only able to do natural at home when I was not required to labor at all on a bed). Good for you tough girl.
Hey I cried at those parts too. What's my excuse? It was a great movie.
That is amazing that Jacob is already that strong. He sure is a beautiful baby.
Call me if you need anything. Really, please call me, I want to help. Have a good week.
So happy to see you back on here. Please take it easy and let yourself recover. And we're all emotional, so no problems! You're there with the best of us. love you!
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