A Thought

Life these past few weeks has been a blur. We've been running on less sleep and juggling three kids and a baby. I often ask my husband if I ever won't feel like a zombie. I look at the skin that hangs around my middle and wonder if I'll ever be able to get my body back and fit into my clothes. Will I ever like how I look again? Will I ever have energy? Once my mom leaves will I be able to handle it on my own? All the usual questions have been racing through my mind as we've been adjusting to Jacob. We are so glad he is here and healthy, but getting used to a newborn is quite the task.

Along with all these thoughts and fears I've also had something my mom said bouncing around my head. We were talking about babies and how fast they grow and she said what so many have told me before, "Enjoy it now because they grow so fast." I've heard this so often from people that I usually just smile and nod and then ignore their advice because I don't think they remember how intense being a mom of young children is. But then my mom added something else that caught my attention,"When you think about out, such a small part of their whole life is spent with you. So enjoy the little time you have." As I pondered the thought I realised it was true. My kids will only be spending a quarter or so of their lives with me. Then they'll be on their own. Wow.

My mom and I have talked about how she thought the little kids phase would never be over. The constant tying of sneakers, doing ponytails in hair, chasing around little girls, etc. But it flew by and now here she is helping out with her twelfth grandchild. To be honest, there are days when I feel like I will never be done changing a diaper, breaking up a fight over toys, tripping over a ball, washing a mound of clothes, or cleaning up snack crumbs from the floor. Right now I wonder if I will ever feel rested enough to have a coherent thought or if my body will be able to go back to it's pre-Jacob form. But I also know the time will fly by. Jacob is already three weeks old. How did that happen? He is more alert and getting chubby. I remember when Anna was a baby and now she is 6! What? She's practically off to college! How did that time escape me?

So thanks to my mom I am trying to enjoy these little moments I have even more. Granted, I still feel like it'll never end at times. I am still excited for Jacob to sleep more at night. But I am also aware that this won't last forever. I only have my sweet little kids for so long. Soon they'll be teenagers, scary thought! I need to give them all the love I can. I need to enjoy them at their various stages, like Anna reading to us, Rachel learning how to write her name, Jimmy running around the house fighting bad guys, and Jacob falling asleep in my arms. I need to make sure they are taught every day that they are children of God, that they have great worth and great responsibilities as such. In the whole scheme of things I do only have them for a short bit. Before I know it they'll be growing up and raising their own families. I'm so grateful for these little people in my life and the great responsibility and joy I have as their mother. I will do my best to savor every chubby cheek, giggly faced, smiley precious moment I have with them as children.