Thursday, January 22, 2009

I Shudder to Think

What would life be like if there had been no Atonement made? I cannot begin to fathom. Of course, we would be imperfect forever and never be allowed back into the presence of the Father. We could never overcome our weaknesses or be made whole from the various trials of our mortal and corruptible bodies. We'd carry with us every sin and wrong doing. The weight of such burdens would be crushing. No hope of ever finding peace or ever being able to improve ourselves. Ugh. I'd just stay in bed for the rest of my life.

The reason why I have been thinking about this is because of my mom. I love her. She is an amazing woman who has lived a hard life and overcome incredible odds to be who she is today. My one wish for her would be to find happiness and peace. I know that those two things only come through living the gospel of Jesus Christ. I've tried other ways and they just don't work. That's why the gospel appealed to me so much before I became active. My poor mom carries around with her all her guilt for her past mistakes. She agonizes over her faults and sees life in an often bleak outlook. She knows about the gospel, but just doesn't seem ready to accept it again into her life for whatever reasons. Visiting with her has been so much fun, but it also has reminded me of what life would be like if I didn't have the gospel.

I know I've lived a crazy life full of all sorts of adventures brought upon by the choices of others and myself. The only reason why I am who I am today is because of the gospel, more specifically because of the Atonement. The only way I was able to find peace after coming from a broken family was through the Atonement. I have been able to forgive those who have caused me pain in my life through the Atonement. I have been able to rise above the mistakes I have made and continue to make (still imperfect, dang it!) because of the Atonement. The only way I have hope and peace when it comes to dealing with depression is through the Atonement. Do you sense a theme here? All my hopes, faith, and peace rely on the fact that there is a perfect being who atoned for my many imperfections so that I can be whole. Despite everything, I can succeed in this mortal state if I put my trust in Him. It will not all happen in this life, but the knowledge that it will happen is all I need.

Those of us who have knowledge of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ are blessed and have the great privilege of sharing it with others. I shudder to think of what my life would be without the gospel. It breaks my heart to see my mom struggle and carry all her burdens on her own. Knowing that I am not alone and that I don't have to go through life on my own is my greatest blessing. I am so grateful for the Atonement in my life. I pray one day my mom will accept it into her own. What a merciful and loving Father in Heaven we have.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Very nice post. I too am very grateful for the atonement. I know our pasts are very similar and my Dad left the church 2 years ago. How hard it is to see him make the choices he is making. But through all of the trials in life, I am grateful that I was raised in the church and have a testimony of the atonement also. Thank you for sharing your testimony!