Reality: the good, bad, and the ugly

I was honest when I said I was going to write more often. I really did want to. But life has taken some unexpected turns and adventures in the past two months that has made blogging not the top of my list. Really, all I hope to do each day is to just make it through.

Let me tell you about my magical medical mystery tour of the past two months. I started having pain two months ago on my right side, above my hip. It didn't seem muscle related and didn't go away so I went to my doctor and we did an ultrasound to see if it was an ovarian cyst, which I have had before. The ultrasound came back clear and so we decided to see if the pain went away.

It didn't. It spread to under my rib cage on my right side. It felt like a knife was under my ribs or a balloon was inside me and going to burst. Not good. Maybe it was my gallbladder or appendix? I didn't have a fever or any other symptoms aside from pain and fatigue. (Seriously, I have spent a lot of the past two months on the couch with Marshall playing mom and dad. It has been rough. Some days are good and some are bad. We just take them as they come. Somehow I am still able to make it to work at the school. My job has been so good because it has gotten me out of bed and moving each day.) The doctor decided to do a CT Scan to see if that showed anything funky with my abdomen. Since they decided to do it with contrast, I had the pleasure of drinking the nasty citrus milky chalky stuff known as beryllium, praying all the while that I would keep it down. CT scan was done and everything looked great!

Sigh. Next was another ultrasound, but this time on my liver, kidneys, and pancreas. Again, nothing wrong. I was just busy collecting lots of cool pictures of my insides, medical bills, and frustration. The pain continued and grew to be around my belly button as well. I was so tired of being tired and not having the energy and ability to be the mom and wife I normally am. Lots of tears were shed and prayers offered. And also a few blessings from my amazing husband. Through it all I have gained great insight and patience.

Last week I had a colonoscopy done to make sure it was nothing with my colon. Oh my goodness, the prep IS the worst. But after all the other tests I have been through, what was another one?! Again, things looked great. They did find some precancerous polyps, which is a huge blessing since I don't have a history of colon cancer in my family and would not have had a colonoscopy done for another 10-15 years. This would have given those polyps plenty of time to turn to cancer. So it was a blessing in disguise to find those now and know I need to keep on top of those.

By now, the pain had also moved to my arms, often leaving them feeling weak and numb and also to the left side of my abdomen. Seriously?!!!!! This morning Marshall and I were able to meet with my doctor and go over all the test results and find out what they do mean and what they do not mean. We were able to ask questions and share our concerns. My good doctor listened to them all and explained things so well to us. The good news is that I do not have an autoimmune disease like MS or Lupus, no cancer, no endometriosis, etc. But the data shows us that I most likely seem to be having a sensory problem. My brain is telling my body is has problems when it doesn't. We're talking fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. (Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.) The plan for now is to treat it with medication. Once we get my body adjusted we will hopefully see results. I will meet back with my doctor in six weeks to discuss. Hopefully soon I will be able to have more energy and less pain. It has been hard to be limited when I think I am so invincible.

But, there have been  many tender mercies and learning experiences along the way. I would rather be healed and not have to deal with this, but all we can do is move forward and hope for the best. There are many other things that are far worse that I could be dealing with. I continue to count my blessings and take it one day at a time.

Over a month!

It's been over a month since I last wrote. Wow! Sorry to my friends who only keep in touch with me via the blog. Life has been busy and I have forgotten to update my blog! But that doesn't mean I have forgotten about you. Let's see if I can bring you up to speed on a few things.

1. School is going great for everyone. No tears this year from Jimmy, which is monumental. Jacob loves Kindergarten and has asked if he could stay all day. Ha! He is taking off in reading and constantly asking us how to spell words. Anna loves 7th grade. She just loves school, which is a foreign idea to her 5th grade sister Rachel. But Rachel, despite wishing she was at home instead, is kicking bootie in 5th grade.

2. I love my job. It keeps me busy, but it is fun to work with kids grades 3rd-5th and help them become better readers. Groups are always changing and challenges arise, but it is so rewarding to work in education.

3. Marshall is surviving Seminary. Ha! He is having fun, actually, and is much more comfortable now that he has a year of teaching it under his belt. If only he could figure a way to cure dumb teenagers who text during class and take away from the Spirit with their lame comments. Ah, teenagers. He still does prosecution for Springdale and La Verkin and teaches two night law classes at the college. Yeah, I don't know how he finds to breathe either.

4. Rachel is busy in soccer and karate. Everyone else, except for Anna occasionally, has given it up. Rachel has actually signed up to be on the Black Belt Team, which allows her to continue on the path to a black belt, get weapons training, and help during classes. I pity the boy who asks Rachel out on a date when she is a teenager. She will be trained in all sorts of deadly weapons. Bwhahahaha!

5. Cub Scouts keep me busy, but I love my boys.

I think I covered the most important stuff! I will try to be more consistent. Halloween is coming and we are all excited.

Kindergarten!!!!

Today my baby started Kindergarten. I was sure I was going to be a nervous wreck, but I did pretty well. I was sad that I wasn't there to meet him after school as he got off of the bus because I was at work. But Darci, who is as good as me, was there so Jacob was happy.

Jacob has declared that he loves Kindergarten. All of my other kids wanted me to drive them the first day of school. And now that I work at the school, the kids get a ride with me in the morning. Not Jacob. He insisted on riding the bus. He has watched his siblings go on it enough years that he was more than ready for his turn. Jimmy was kind enough to ride with him. I met them at the school and Jacob could have cared less if I was there. He wished me "goodbye" and headed on his way. I even ended up helping in his class for a little, in case the teacher needed assistance with any crying children, and Jacob did fine with me there.

Jacob has been hyper all afternoon and excited to tell everyone about his day. And he is anxious to learn Chinese, as he is in the dual-immersion program. I am so glad he had a great first day. And kind of sad that my baby is school age. That is why I work at the school. At least I can be near my kids!

First Day of School AND Work

Somehow the first day of school came. I am really not sure how it happened, but with our busy summer we were all ready for it. Well, I was at least. The kids all did a great job heading off to school. Anna is starting 7 th grade, Rachel 5th, and Jimmy 3rd. In another week Jacob starts Kindergarten. That is just plain crazy!

Marshall started back at Seminary and said this first day was a lot better than last year's because he knows what to expect now. He is excited for the year. And I started my first day as a paraprofessional. I still am learning what I am supposed to be doing. It is hard because my job doesn't pick up until the teachers have tested all their students to see who needs my help. But I do get to cover classes next week while the teachers test next week.

The best part of the day is that Jimmy DID NOT cry, which is huge. He also told me he likes 3rd grade a lot more than 2nd. That boy is so tender, but gave me such trauma last year with all his tears and wanting to come home. I am hopeful 3rd grade really will be better.

 Anna

Jimmy

 Rachel

I am alive!!!

Really... I am. It has just been a busy summer that I am sure we will not ever be able to top. We have traveled this great nation from coast to coast, the Atlantic to the Pacific. I have a ton of pictures of our adventures, which I will share over a different blogs, once I download them off of my phone. But I just wanted you to know that I am alive. And I may move to West Virginia. Well, Marshall and I decided that green state filled with rolling hills was our favorite and we could move there. However, for now we will stay in the desert and fondly recall what green grass looks like.

Other big news, aside from being alive and having an awesome summer, is that I have a job. I have been hired as a part-time teacher's assistant at the school. I work roughly the same hours Jacob will be in Kindergarten, Monday through Thursday. I am very excited as this was my whole goal in doing lunch room supervision the past two years at school. I wanted to get to know the staff well so that when a job opening came, I could take it. I think it will be great to be working with kids who need specific help with reading and math. Plus I will be out of the house and busy, which I like, instead of sitting at home and feeling sorry for myself that all my babies are grown, which I do not like. The hours will allow me to be at home when my kids are at home. It is a great set-up! It'll be an adventure and I am excited.

Now I must go working on downloading pictures. Talk about a random blog......

Lots of Love

A few weeks back Anna cousin, who is a year older than Anna, decided to donate her hair to Locks of Love. I showed pictures to Anna of her cousin and that was it. What I didn't know is that she was pondering the idea of following in her cousin's footsteps. She had already read an article about donating hair for wigs for terminally ill people and then saw her cousin chop her hair. She decided that she wanted to do it as well. She told me, "It'll grow back Mom. It's for a good cause anyhow." 

I am so proud of her. You have to understand that her long hair has been Anna's crowning glory. She would get after Rachel and I about needing to grow our hair out so we too can look more feminine. (ah, the tact of tweens.) For Anna being willing to get rid of it was a huge deal. But Anna has also had people, including her cousin, grandpa, ward members, in her life who have fought cancer. And Anna has a big heart. She never faltered over her decision, even with a sweet old man at the salon telling her that her hair was too beautiful to cut. (thanks a lot buddy!) I am so proud of her. And I think her new haircut is adorable! She loves having less hair to deal with as well. She's 12 inches shorter on hair and loving it!

Happy Easter/ Birthday weekend!

My sweet friend decorated our front porch the night before my birthday. She wrote on one of the hearts about how I was both "beautiful and young". Talk about a true friend. Turning thirty-five has been odd and in a way sobering because I remember my mom at forty and now I am getting closer to forty. Of course, that thought won't keep me from loving Wonder Woman and being my goofy silly self. As my 72 year-old dear friend says, "Age is all about attitude."

The kids at the neighborhood Easter egg hunt

My cute little bunny after his preschool Easter party

Coloring Easter eggs

The real reason why we celebrate Easter. Words cannot express my gratitude for a loving Heavenly Father and His son that made it possible to return home again. He is Risen!

This week....

Here are two of the fun things I have been doing this week.

#1 Making and improving my soft pretzel skills. I love soft pretzels. Hello, I grew up right near the best soft pretzels in the world, Philadelphia soft pretzels. There is nothing like them. This week Jacob wanted soft pretzels for a snack and since I was too cheap to drive to the mall to buy an over-priced pretzel, I decided to make some. It's been years since I have attempted that. The first batch was yummy, but the second batch I made today rocked. The secret is in the boiling of the pretzels in baking soda solution before baking them. It makes a huge difference! I think I have eaten more flour today than I have in a LONG time. Yum!

#2 Karate promotions. The kids were able to move up from yellow belts to orange belts. Marshall and I moved up from white to yellow belts. It took us longer because, well, we are parents and it's hard to find the time to fit in the required number of classes. It'll just take us a little longer on the road to black belts. But we are having so much fun along the way. We get to beat each other up and get promoted for it. Most fun ever!

My "ninja" family. Jacob says we need to get a bumper sticker that says "Ninjas on board" so that people will know not to mess with our family. So watch out!

Revelation

Okay, the naked man chest has been on my blog way too long. Not to mention that "Just 6 weeks" thankfully changed their app cover to something less creepy....

It is all lies, though, since I have been doing the program for almost 6 weeks and my silhouette looks nothing like that. But I digress....

My real reason for posting, aside from removing those dang-impossible-to-achieve-abs-of-scariness, is to write about my gratitude for personal revelation. I cannot imagine my life without the gift of the Holy Ghost and, therefore, ability to receive personal revelation. I need that EVERY day in my life! Every. Day.

Recently I was going through a really, really bad time of depression. It just sucked me into a black hole and I could not get out. I fought hard, but I was struggling. I finally had my wonderful husband give me a blessing and in it the Lord told me some things I needed to hear, but didn't want to because I have certain hopes that I do not want to give up. I needed the Lord to tell me it was time to move on. Sometimes we need to hear that reminder that trusting in the Lord really will be okay, even if His plans differ from our own.

This morning I was reading my scriptures, 1st Nephi with Laman and Lemuel being their usual charming selves over having to get the plates from Laban, and again I was hit over the head with a revelation. Another painful one to receive that told me I needed to shape up in my attitude concerning certain things. I was able to see how my way of handling the situation was not helping and would be destructive to me in the end.

Two totally unrelated revelations, but both needed dearly. I love being able to receive that instruction. Yeah, it's not fun to told to change and be better, but it is nice to know where you are failing because then you have the opportunity to change. What if you never knew in the first place that you were doing it wrong? What if you thought your way WAS the best way? Think how disappointed you'd be when the end results weren't what you had wanted and didn't give you any happiness. Instead, with revelation, you can know what to improve, learn to love/ want to Lord's "end results", and be truly happy. Priceless. Becoming who the Lord knows you can be = best gift ever. 

Kids.... they can drive me nuts, but I do love them

This is a random blog about my kids and the things they say and do that amuse me. I have other more inspiring ideas to blog about, but I am too lazy to use that kind of mental power after all.

-Jacob has been fascinated by Heavenly Father and how much He knows. Jacob has also decided that Jacob knows as much as Heavenly Father. Jacob says he also knows as much as our karate instructor. Who knew? I guess Jacob doesn't suffer from any ego issues.

- I am pretty sure the character of Flint Lockwood from the "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" movies is based on Jimmy. Jimmy has a brilliant mind, always learning, absorbing facts and wanting to know how things work. He is constantly taking things apart. He is a smart kid. And he constantly cannot find his shoes. I am sure Jimmy, like Flint, will one day discover how to make permanent shoes so that he will never lose them again. He will be our mad scientist that makes some huge discovery. It won't be too hard since Jacob already calls Jimmy a "scientist" and, as we already discussed, Jacob does know everything.

- What happens to girls at around age 11 that causes them to take FOREVER in the shower and getting ready? It's not like there is make-up to be put on, legs to be shaved, or hair to be dried. So why does getting ready in the morning take so long? What does one do in the shower for 25 minutes? I mean, I like a hot shower or bath as much as the next person, but I also like to not be a prune. And how is it my fault one is late for the bus when said person is the one who took forever getting ready? What has caused this mysterious change in my otherwise sweet daughter? Will we ever get her back?!

- Marshall and I have started this fitness program called "Just 6 Weeks". It is designed to help one improve their sit-ups, push-ups, squats, etc in just six weeks. The cover of the app looks like this:

My girls have Kindles and their accounts are connected with Marshall's. They had seen this picture for a few weeks. They asked this week if they could start the program with us and so we got it all set-up on their Kindles. And they were amazed that this picture is the cover of the app. Why? Because when they saw the picture on their Kindles, weeks ago, they thought it was the cover to a book I was reading! Right... because I always read books with naked men on the cover. Seriously?! What do they think of me? We had a good laugh over that.

- I find it amazing that my other daughter seems to be haunted by a ghost. It does no harm to her, just the people around her. Someone will get hit, kicked, or punched and she has no idea how it happened, even though she was the only other person around. Conclusion: it must be a ghost.

Despite it all, I love my monkeys. They keep me laughing, crying, and on my feet!

Angry Birds Blue & Gold

I love my calling. I never thought I would love it as much as I do, but I think I have one of the funnest callings in the church.

Last year I was called as Cub Master right before the Blue & Gold Banquet. (Amazingly, I didn't kill our bishop at the time.) Since there was little time to plan, I just went with what had already been decided and did my best to do my calling that I was clueless about. But in the back of my mind I knew what I wanted to do the following year for the banquet.

It took some planning and making of various decorations, but we pulled it off and it turned out to be an awesome success. We had an Angry Bird themed banquet. To save on the budget, I made the decorations that I got ideas for from the Internet. We had our traditional pizza dinner with home made root beer and kept it all low key. It was great!

We started the banquet with letting the boys decorate cakes, one for each den. It was all done in true boy style with lots of candy and scary colors. The boys had a blast. Then we had our dinner and a little program, followed by playing a real Angry Birds game. I had had my leaders save empty food boxes and containers and had one team stack them up and hide stuffed green piggies in them. I had the other team us a sling shot to launch stuffed Angry Birds and plastic balls at the box structures. It was awesome and everyone had a great time.

I love my calling as Cub Master. It is a blast. And I am even more excited to have my Jimmy in the program now as well. Cub Scouts is all about the boys.

Cake decorating. Love the colors!

Stacking boxes for the game.

Rachel and Marshall launching Red

Table decorations and coloring sheets

Food table

Jimmy's Birthday!

I realized I never posted pictures of Jimmy's birthday for those of you who don't do Facebook. Man, what a nice mom! Jimmy had a great birthday. Darci took him out to lunch the Saturday before his birthday, then we had his party at the karate studio, and dinner out at a Chinese buffet. Jimmy was so excited to speak to one of the waitresses in Chinese, but then clammed up when the chance came. Our waitress was more than happy to speak with him.

Monday, his birthday, was also Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Jimmy thought it was so cool that school was closed just for his big day. We all know how much Jimmy loves school. (insert sarcasm). We celebrated by going on an awesome hike with Marshall's parents and  his brother and wife and their kids. Then a bonfire at Grandma's followed by a bbq. Sweet! Jimmy had a great day.

Ever the inquisitive mind, Jimmy got a big book with "5,000 Facts about Everything", a science kit to make glow-in-the-dark stuff, a BB gun (which he picked out to buy with his birthday money from all his grandparents), and more wax for his Hot Wheels car maker. Needless to say, there has been a lot of experimenting and what not going on around here ever since.

Since he is now 8, aside from getting baptized, which you already read about, Jimmy is now a Cub Scout. I held Cub Scouts at our house this past week to introduce all our new little Wolves to the program. They were so cute and excited. I have caught Jimmy reading his Wolf book throughout the week, anxious to learn more about scouts. It makes my calling as Cub Master even that more awesome to see the boys so excited to join.

Anyhow, we love Jimmy and he is a part of the family. Whether or not he survives the next 8 years and all his experiments is still debatable!

 Cutting the cake with a Samurai sword

Minecraft Legos! (I don't understand the big deal about that game)

The big book on everything!

Love this shot of him from our hike.

 Happy Birthday!

Jimmy's Baptism

Today was a very special day as it was Jimmy's baptism day. I cannot believe he is 8! He was so excited/ nervous for his big day. He did a wonderful job and it was great to have his father baptize him. I really cherish having a worthy priesthood holder in the home.

We had a lot of friends and family show up for the baptism, including neighbors, cousins, grandparents, aunt and uncle, Primary teachers, and even school teachers. Yes, both of Jimmy's school teachers came and gave him gifts. His one teacher gave him a $2 bill, not to spend, but to use as a bookmark in his scriptures so that he can remember that, just like the $2 bill, his scriptures are rare and precious. His sweet Mandarin teacher gave him the Book of Mormon in Mandarin. She even wrote her testimony in the inside, but Jimmy will have to keep learning Chinese to decipher it. What special gifts and wonderful teachers!

Jimmy's Granddad McConkie and Marshall both were able to bear testimony and teach some doctrine. It was wonderful. Granddad talked about how Jimmy now has been reborn and is new. Also how he has to think of others now. Marshall paid Jimmy a tender compliment by telling him that he is the most giving person he knows and Marshall knows Jimmy will not have a problem thinking of others. It is very true. Jimmy has a heart as big as his endless appetite and is always giving up things for others.

It was a beautiful special day and I am so glad we could share it with friends and family. The Gospel is true and no greater happiness can be found than through living it.

A Simple Act of Kindness

I have always thought that teachers don't get paid enough and are constantly making sacrifices for the good of their students. I have been amazed as I have had the chance to work at the school every day at the kind acts and services of the teachers in our school. It has been a special experience to get to know them better and see the good that they generate.

Yesterday I had such an opportunity to witness good being done. There is only one male grade teacher in our school and the kids think he is pretty awesome. (And he is. He was the bishop of the ward we used to live in, so I can vouch for his coolness.) He has one student who is rather rambunctious. It is obvious that he doesn't get the kind of attention that he should at home. He often acts out to get attention at school and to be accepted by his peers. Sadly, his behavior often intimidates his fellow classmates. This boy was sitting at lunch with a large space on either side of him because of the above mentioned. After going through the lunch line, this male teacher noticed the boy sitting by himself and decided to plop down right next to the boy with his lunch. Mind you, this teacher is cooler than cool and it made a statement to the other kids that were stronger than words. The teacher sat there by the boy until he finished his lunch and then went off to do whatever things he had to before class started again.

I was so touched by this simple act of kindness that I was almost brought to tears. This teacher probably had things he needed to finish before class time. He probably would have enjoyed lunch in the break room with the other teachers. But he saw a need and went to fill it because he is a good man and a good teacher.

Simple acts of kindness can brighten someone's day and change them for the better. I hope we can all learn something from this amazing teacher. I am grateful for his good example.

Happy New Year!

School started up again this past Thursday. Despite major complaining on Jimmy and Rachel's part, they did not cry or throw hysterics on the doomed hour came for them to leave the warmth of their home and go to the dreaded school building. I was very impressed. May this keep occurring this new year. I would be one happy woman if that was the case.

We did have a fun break and played with cousins and family a lot. Marshall started on one of my Christmas gifts and helped me build some shelves in the boy's bedroom closet. Next on the list if Rachel's room and then Anna's. I am so giddy over having shelves and being able to organize the pit of despair that is the boy's room.

We had fun bringing in the New Year by having a Wii Fit Plus family challenge. Yes, my 5 year-old is better at skateboarding on the Wii than I am. We also watched movies and did poppers and sparklers to bring in the New Year. Everyone almost made it until midnight. Jacob fell asleep at 11:40. Almost!

And Jacob has decided to start off the New Year be getting croup. Party! I am doing a fitness challenge with some friends, which should be fun or make me want to murder everyone. We shall see. But I am always up for a challenge. Too bad today is the first day to do all these fitness tests and I feel like crud. Yeah for winter illnesses!