We're Idiots, But We're Trying Our Best

I've been pondering marriage a lot lately and what makes it work. (Yes, it is totally because I am such an intellectual philosophical person and not because I am teaching about eternal marriage on Sunday.) I love how my husband explained the marriage covenant the other day, "It's a covenant you work your butt off to keep for the rest of your life." Well said because anyone who's ever been married and has somewhat of a brain knows that it takes work. (I know I blog a lot about marriage, but I have a lot to say about it so deal.)

I've been thinking about what my husband said. It does take work because you have to constantly remind yourself that you and your husband are idiots. By that I mean no offense, simply that you're both imperfect and, therefore, will make some stupid mistakes in your marriage. It's a given. Aside from imperfection, throw in the natural tendencies that come from each gender and you've got youself some fun.

My husband knows that once a month for a week and a half, and every pregnancy, I go insane. I fully recognize these times of insanity and embrace them for what they are, hormones. My husband knows at those times I can cry, shout, or show an outpouring of love all within two minutes. He knows most likely he won't do things right at those times and tries his best to just endure. I do my best to not become a hormonal beast of doom, but sometimes it just happens and I apologize after the insanity has passed. (Robyne can back me on this one!) It's just something Marshall has learned to accept.

In the same regard, I know my husband is often clueless about things because he is a man. That may sound like a harsh stereotype, but most men aren't mind readers or detailed oriented people. So there are times when I need to explain things to him that I may be feeling or need help with around the house. This helps us to avoid huge blow-ups that result from pent up frustrations from Marshall not knowing everything I think he should. He also has the added handicap of being a bishop at the moment. As such, he has lots of meetings, appointments, and phone calls that pop up or he may forget to tell me about. Yes, there are times when we sit down to dinner and he reminds me he is going to be gone that night and I respond "What the what?!" because it's my first time hearing about it. He has a lot to keep track of now and sometimes makes mistakes. But I don't sentence him to a lifetime of cold shouldering, maybe just a night of it, because I know he's doing his best and imperfect.

Marriage is something that you do work your butt off for the rest of your life to make successful. It takes a lot of effort, forgiveness, and love because, despite what you may think, you're flawed creatures trying to do your best to achieve unity. That takes time and serious effort. But it is totally worth it, not just in the end, but all during the jounrey to oneness. No other greater happiness can be found than a love sealed by the Lord and consecrated by the sacrifices of husband and wife as they become united.