What is it with women and TMI (too much information)? It's not like you hear men going around complaining about their sex lives, bowel movements, or tender chests. Maybe I hang out with the wrong kind of men, but I just don't see it happening. But lots of women I know don't have a problem sharing all the details of their lives. Asking "How are you?" can result in all sorts of interesting and unwanted tidbits.
A few of my friends are pregnant and we talk about some of the not so fun things about pregnancy. But some of them think it's a chance to talk about it all, mostly sex. "I feel so bad for my husband. I don't know how he puts up with me. I'm just too tired to do anything with him at night." Girl, I know how that baby got there, but I really don't want to think about it. Don't tell me what goes on behind closed doors. There is a reason why we close those doors. Okay? I am totally cool with talking about the raging hormones that come with being pregnant or pms-ing. Sometimes I think I am going insane and super emotional and have no idea why. But as to the other things, just don't share.
Or what about complaining about husbands and their bodily functions? "Sometimes I wonder if he is even aiming when he goes to the bathroom." Ewww. First off, he's not five so don't make him sound like he just got potty trained. It doesn't reflect well on him. Second off, next time you come to my house and he uses my bathroom, I'm going to be scared to see what I find. Don't tell me about his sex drive, gas, bathroom habits, eating habits, etc. We all have our moments of not being glamorous. It's life. But we don't need to share those moments about ourselves and others with anyone else. Those things should be kept private for a reason, especially if you respect yourself and your spouse. There should be an unspoken agreement. "Hon, don't tell anyone what I look like first thing in the morning and I won't spill the beans about you gas." Just common sense. There is a reason why we have TMI, but don't make me use it.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Mr. Calm and Mrs. Spazz
I think my husband and I are the perfect combination. We have similar tastes and opinions, which allows us to be able to have fun together and avoid major fights. We both like Broadway, games, loathe camping, dislike dogs, love food, and love to spend time together. But we also are different. We do disagree on things and that adds some spice to our marriage. I think I would go insane if I was married to someone just like me. It would probably end in murder.
Today I am grateful that my husband and I handle situations differently. Sometimes I want to scream when he remains calm in a crazy situation. He is very much like his father in that regard. I want him to react, but I'm glad he doesn't. For instance, yesterday morning the sink was clogged. It does that periodically because it is evil and hates me. I had water leaking below and nasty water filling in both sinks. After plunging for 20 minutes, I had little success. So I called my sweet husband and he came home from work to help. I was ready to take a hammer to the pipes below and then call a plumber. "Let's just blow it all up and get a new sink! I hate this stupid thing!" I was busy imagining having to spend tons of money on fixing the satanic sink. No, I never over-react. Then the voice of reason came home, all calm and relaxed. I had to take Anna to the bus while he worked on the sink. He told me "Don't worry. It'll be fine." When I came home it was fixed. Marshall had taken a pipe off to get the clog out and put everything back together. The mess was cleaned up and the washing machine washing the towels he had dirtied in his repairs. (Yeah, I know I'm lucky.)It was done and he was fine. I am so glad he is Mr. Calm when I am Mrs. Spazz. I just like to react to things, but it is good to have someone around who says "Okay, now let's fix the problem. The world isn't ending today."
Though in my defense, I admit that I am there to be the voice of comfort and calm when things get crazy for him. I think I can count on one hand how many times Marshall has come to me stressed in our 8 years of marriage. That's okay. I am glad I can help him when he needs it. I am glad we have the relationship we do. And I'm glad we're different. I am sure I do make him chuckle sometimes and he may wonder if he is married to Chicken Little. "The sky is falling!" But life would be sooooo boring if I were any different!
Today I am grateful that my husband and I handle situations differently. Sometimes I want to scream when he remains calm in a crazy situation. He is very much like his father in that regard. I want him to react, but I'm glad he doesn't. For instance, yesterday morning the sink was clogged. It does that periodically because it is evil and hates me. I had water leaking below and nasty water filling in both sinks. After plunging for 20 minutes, I had little success. So I called my sweet husband and he came home from work to help. I was ready to take a hammer to the pipes below and then call a plumber. "Let's just blow it all up and get a new sink! I hate this stupid thing!" I was busy imagining having to spend tons of money on fixing the satanic sink. No, I never over-react. Then the voice of reason came home, all calm and relaxed. I had to take Anna to the bus while he worked on the sink. He told me "Don't worry. It'll be fine." When I came home it was fixed. Marshall had taken a pipe off to get the clog out and put everything back together. The mess was cleaned up and the washing machine washing the towels he had dirtied in his repairs. (Yeah, I know I'm lucky.)It was done and he was fine. I am so glad he is Mr. Calm when I am Mrs. Spazz. I just like to react to things, but it is good to have someone around who says "Okay, now let's fix the problem. The world isn't ending today."
Though in my defense, I admit that I am there to be the voice of comfort and calm when things get crazy for him. I think I can count on one hand how many times Marshall has come to me stressed in our 8 years of marriage. That's okay. I am glad I can help him when he needs it. I am glad we have the relationship we do. And I'm glad we're different. I am sure I do make him chuckle sometimes and he may wonder if he is married to Chicken Little. "The sky is falling!" But life would be sooooo boring if I were any different!
What's in a dream?
Dreams can be fascinating windows into one's subconscience. I know there are a lot of people out there that believe in dream interpretation and carry around all sorts of dream bibles with them. I think dreams can give clues as to what is going on in someone's life, but I don't see them as being the end all be all. Unless we're talking about dreams where God gives visions, but we're not talking about those kind of dreams here.
For instance, my husband always has the most interesting dreams when he is stressed by either work or church. Things have been a bit crazy with his calling and one night he dreamt about trying to run sacrament meeting on his own, but all these horrible things kept happening and then stake president was there for a visit. Plus Marshall didn't have a suit on and was dressed very casual. The other night he dreamt that I inherited two million dollars. We paid off our house, van, student loans, and still had lots of money left over to invest and watch grow. He took a job as a teacher and that paid for groceries and utilities. I found it fascinating that all the details were taken care of in his dream. And I know my husband would love to teach. It's his dream job. But he also has us to provide for, so he's a lawyer. I wonder if he had a crazy day at work.
Let's look at my dreams. Actually, we really shouldn't. Being pregnant always makes me have the oddest dreams. Usually it is Marshall who is busy flirting up a storm with anything that walks in my pregnancy dreams. But not this pregnancy. Apparently I am the one with the wandering eye because it's now my turn to have all the affairs. It's so funny and sometime very annoying. Where do I get all that energy? "Brain! What are you thinking?! Stop those dreams right now, you naughty brain!" It almost makes me wonder "What on earth is wrong with me?" I am sure Marshall is loving the fact that I am getting a taste of my own medicine, finally. In real life I think my husband is the hottest stuff around, but my subconscious (if that is where dreams come from) must have other ideas. At least I don't know anyone I chase after in my dreams. That would be awkward. So let's determine that dreams can give a peek into one's subconscience, except for when one is pregnant. All rules are off then and who knows what on earth will happen!
Me at 22 1/2 weeks. The cause of all my crazy dreams.
For instance, my husband always has the most interesting dreams when he is stressed by either work or church. Things have been a bit crazy with his calling and one night he dreamt about trying to run sacrament meeting on his own, but all these horrible things kept happening and then stake president was there for a visit. Plus Marshall didn't have a suit on and was dressed very casual. The other night he dreamt that I inherited two million dollars. We paid off our house, van, student loans, and still had lots of money left over to invest and watch grow. He took a job as a teacher and that paid for groceries and utilities. I found it fascinating that all the details were taken care of in his dream. And I know my husband would love to teach. It's his dream job. But he also has us to provide for, so he's a lawyer. I wonder if he had a crazy day at work.
Let's look at my dreams. Actually, we really shouldn't. Being pregnant always makes me have the oddest dreams. Usually it is Marshall who is busy flirting up a storm with anything that walks in my pregnancy dreams. But not this pregnancy. Apparently I am the one with the wandering eye because it's now my turn to have all the affairs. It's so funny and sometime very annoying. Where do I get all that energy? "Brain! What are you thinking?! Stop those dreams right now, you naughty brain!" It almost makes me wonder "What on earth is wrong with me?" I am sure Marshall is loving the fact that I am getting a taste of my own medicine, finally. In real life I think my husband is the hottest stuff around, but my subconscious (if that is where dreams come from) must have other ideas. At least I don't know anyone I chase after in my dreams. That would be awkward. So let's determine that dreams can give a peek into one's subconscience, except for when one is pregnant. All rules are off then and who knows what on earth will happen!
Me at 22 1/2 weeks. The cause of all my crazy dreams.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
You're kidding, right?
I hate politics. I really do. They bore me and I tire of all the fluff involved. I love history and learning about how people lived, but I could care less about learning in depth about the political part. Give me a quick over view. My husband, on the other hand, finds such things fascinating. He was a political science major. But not for me.
Last night my husband had the Democratic Convention on for maybe a minute or two. And my hatred of politics only increased. One speaker was talking about Barack Obama and how incredible he was. He said something along the lines of "If you think the technological advances we've made in the past ten years are amazing, compared to Barack Obama you ain't seen nothing yet!" Oh really. Hello pompous fool. I don't think so. Are you even thinking about what you are saying? Most likely not. So Obama is better than the i-pod, i-phone, Tivo, Blackberry, the Wii, teeny tiny cell phones that can do all sorts of cool things, digital cameras, wireless Internet, etc.? The list goes on and on. I don't have room to write it all down, but I am barely touching the surface. We live in an age of invention. There are so many gadgets available and that keep coming out. Medicine has benefited greatly from the progress that has been made in technology. I am so glad to live in this day and age with all those benefits. But Barack Obama is going to be more amazing than all this if elected president? Hmmmm.
I never have liked the man. I remember when we lived in Indiana and he was coming into he spotlight in Illinois. I just didn't like him. He seemed fake, which one can say for most politicians, but he really just rubbed me the wrong way. It seems like he has no idea what he is doing now. I am not impressed. I disagree with the comment made at the convention by the above idiot. Personally, I'd take a Wii over Obama any day.
Last night my husband had the Democratic Convention on for maybe a minute or two. And my hatred of politics only increased. One speaker was talking about Barack Obama and how incredible he was. He said something along the lines of "If you think the technological advances we've made in the past ten years are amazing, compared to Barack Obama you ain't seen nothing yet!" Oh really. Hello pompous fool. I don't think so. Are you even thinking about what you are saying? Most likely not. So Obama is better than the i-pod, i-phone, Tivo, Blackberry, the Wii, teeny tiny cell phones that can do all sorts of cool things, digital cameras, wireless Internet, etc.? The list goes on and on. I don't have room to write it all down, but I am barely touching the surface. We live in an age of invention. There are so many gadgets available and that keep coming out. Medicine has benefited greatly from the progress that has been made in technology. I am so glad to live in this day and age with all those benefits. But Barack Obama is going to be more amazing than all this if elected president? Hmmmm.
I never have liked the man. I remember when we lived in Indiana and he was coming into he spotlight in Illinois. I just didn't like him. He seemed fake, which one can say for most politicians, but he really just rubbed me the wrong way. It seems like he has no idea what he is doing now. I am not impressed. I disagree with the comment made at the convention by the above idiot. Personally, I'd take a Wii over Obama any day.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The Kitchen: Room of Torture
I like to torture children. It's true, just ask my kids. At least three or four times a week I inflict some horrible punishment upon them in the form of meals. I keep a special cupboard that houses all of my recipes of weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth. No matter that I cook my meals from scratch, most nights, it still is torture to eat them. Oh cruel world! How could my children be cursed with such an uncaring mother! Here is a taste of my latest session of pain:
Anna: Mom, what's for dinner?
Mom: BBQ grilled chicken, grilled vegetables, baked potatoes, and bread.
Anna: That's a Sunday meal! You always make that for Sunday! (Really, we just had lasagna this past Sunday. Mmm)
Mom: No, we don't always have that on Sunday. There will be bread for you to eat too.
Anna: Well, I don't like that meal and I won't color if we have it.
Mom: Okay. You won't be having any dinner if you keep that crabbiness up.
Anna: I want chicken nuggets and cheese(mozzarella)sticks.
Mom: Nope. That's not what we're having.
Anna: Well, when I am a mom I am going to make chicken nuggets and cheese sticks for two nights and then pizza for the other nights. I won't make things I don't like.(Neither do I.)
Mom: Sounds good to me.
Yes, I am a true mom. My kids now swear to not make the meals I make, just like I used to vow the same when my mom cooked for me. Life is hard when mom won't cook only what you like. I better go check my book of pain and tears for new techniques. You know that Betty Crocker is one pretty darn sadistic lady.
Anna: Mom, what's for dinner?
Mom: BBQ grilled chicken, grilled vegetables, baked potatoes, and bread.
Anna: That's a Sunday meal! You always make that for Sunday! (Really, we just had lasagna this past Sunday. Mmm)
Mom: No, we don't always have that on Sunday. There will be bread for you to eat too.
Anna: Well, I don't like that meal and I won't color if we have it.
Mom: Okay. You won't be having any dinner if you keep that crabbiness up.
Anna: I want chicken nuggets and cheese(mozzarella)sticks.
Mom: Nope. That's not what we're having.
Anna: Well, when I am a mom I am going to make chicken nuggets and cheese sticks for two nights and then pizza for the other nights. I won't make things I don't like.(Neither do I.)
Mom: Sounds good to me.
Yes, I am a true mom. My kids now swear to not make the meals I make, just like I used to vow the same when my mom cooked for me. Life is hard when mom won't cook only what you like. I better go check my book of pain and tears for new techniques. You know that Betty Crocker is one pretty darn sadistic lady.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Why I love being a woman
Here are just a few reasons, in no particular order:
1. Chocolate
2. I get to wear make-up, nail polish, scented lotion, and body spray. Some times I want to paint my fingernails to feel pretty. I can. I don't know if guys ever want to feel extra handsome, but what can they do? Put on more deodorant?
3.I have cuter clothes. No contest. Plus dresses are way cheaper than one suit. And I can wear pink and make it look good without anyone questioning my sexuality.
4. I can have babies. Yes, it's work and it hurts, not just the birthing process, but the whole pregnancy. But there is nothing like bringing life into this world. Of having that ability. To feel the first fluttering of movements inside the womb and know the baby is growing inside of you. That you are sustaining a sweet new life.
5. The female body is much nicer looking than the male. Hey, even my stake president said it. We look better. Of course, we have to keep our beautiful bodies covered properly, but we still look better. Sorry guys.
6. I can cry and be emotional. Yes, it's evil at times, but true about hormones. I do get more emotional when pms-ing or pregnant, but that is okay. I can cry at movies or at random moments and not have people question my femininity. Though, they may question my sanity.
7. My main job is to raise the kids. I know all moms can't be at home, but we do have the special chance to be "mom". When it's raining, snowing, or nasty hot out, I don't have to go and face the work day. We can play inside. I can lay down for a littel if I feel tired or sick. I can find a moment to blog or check email. I get all the cute tender moments with the kids. Granted, at times I want to sell them, but I get to have a special mom bond with them. I get to color with them, kiss owies, tickle bare bellies, and chase superheroes. How cool is that?
8. I don't ever have to be a bishop or stake president. Sweet!
9. I have special qualities given to women. Nurturing, loving, tenderness, charity, etc. It's how the Lord made us and I think it is pretty darn cool. He saved the best creation for last, like dessert.
10. I get to be a help-meet. Man wasn't complete before we were created. Not only do we have the cool above mentioned qualities, but also we possess the ability to juggle an insane amount of tasks. We are the center of the home, or we should be. We set the tone for the home. We keep everything running smoothly. We make life better for our husbands and kids. Without us, they would be lost. Not to say that we are better than men, they know we are, but what we do every day is important. Doing our job makes everyone else in the family able to function and do all that is required of them. What an awesome responsibility and blessing for us!
1. Chocolate
2. I get to wear make-up, nail polish, scented lotion, and body spray. Some times I want to paint my fingernails to feel pretty. I can. I don't know if guys ever want to feel extra handsome, but what can they do? Put on more deodorant?
3.I have cuter clothes. No contest. Plus dresses are way cheaper than one suit. And I can wear pink and make it look good without anyone questioning my sexuality.
4. I can have babies. Yes, it's work and it hurts, not just the birthing process, but the whole pregnancy. But there is nothing like bringing life into this world. Of having that ability. To feel the first fluttering of movements inside the womb and know the baby is growing inside of you. That you are sustaining a sweet new life.
5. The female body is much nicer looking than the male. Hey, even my stake president said it. We look better. Of course, we have to keep our beautiful bodies covered properly, but we still look better. Sorry guys.
6. I can cry and be emotional. Yes, it's evil at times, but true about hormones. I do get more emotional when pms-ing or pregnant, but that is okay. I can cry at movies or at random moments and not have people question my femininity. Though, they may question my sanity.
7. My main job is to raise the kids. I know all moms can't be at home, but we do have the special chance to be "mom". When it's raining, snowing, or nasty hot out, I don't have to go and face the work day. We can play inside. I can lay down for a littel if I feel tired or sick. I can find a moment to blog or check email. I get all the cute tender moments with the kids. Granted, at times I want to sell them, but I get to have a special mom bond with them. I get to color with them, kiss owies, tickle bare bellies, and chase superheroes. How cool is that?
8. I don't ever have to be a bishop or stake president. Sweet!
9. I have special qualities given to women. Nurturing, loving, tenderness, charity, etc. It's how the Lord made us and I think it is pretty darn cool. He saved the best creation for last, like dessert.
10. I get to be a help-meet. Man wasn't complete before we were created. Not only do we have the cool above mentioned qualities, but also we possess the ability to juggle an insane amount of tasks. We are the center of the home, or we should be. We set the tone for the home. We keep everything running smoothly. We make life better for our husbands and kids. Without us, they would be lost. Not to say that we are better than men, they know we are, but what we do every day is important. Doing our job makes everyone else in the family able to function and do all that is required of them. What an awesome responsibility and blessing for us!
Project Junkie
I've been neglecting my blog because I have found more exciting things to do. My great weakness, which isn't too bad of a weakness, is I get sucked into projects. I especially love projects that don't take long to complete. Genealogy is fun, but it is never ending and often frustrating. Painting, on the other hand, has faster results.
This weekend I completed sanding and painting our front door. I love our door now! It looks soooo much better. I want to come visit me now because my door looks so nice and friendly. This morning I moved onto the next step, the shutters. Thank goodness they are much easier to sand since I have to do them by hand. The paint just peels off. There is something to be said for them not being painted for a long time. It makes my job easier. I know I won't rest until my shutter project is complete. Over the years Marshall has learned that once I am started on a project, "look out!" And since I grew up in a home without a male figure, I have no qualms about doing everything myself. Sometimes I get into trouble because I want to do it all, but I can't. But I figure I can at least give things a try because I don't believe that anatomy has anything to do with how well one can paint or sand. Granted, I have relegated some projects to Marshall because I can't fit this cute pregnant body into some tight spots anymore.
But I have gotten better. I know my limits, especially with being 22 weeks pregnant, and my goal is to sand and paint one pair of shutters a day. It's still insane, but for me it's a cut back. I don't want to completely kill myself off. I'll let my kids do that. Now I must go back to my project heaven and check on my shutters to see if they are ready to paint. Oh, and keep the laundry going and clean the bathrooms. But rest assured, it'll all be done by dinner time. Yes, I am insane and proud of it!
Friday, August 22, 2008
Tractor Fun
On Sunday Anna's substitute Primary teacher promised to take the kids for rides on her tractor. I had completely forgotten about it until she called last night to make good on her promise. The kids were so excited. Jimmy was too unsure to try it, but the girls had a blast!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
What's in a dream?
Dreams can be fascinating windows into one's subconscience. I know there are a lot of people out there that believe in dream interpretation and carry around all sorts of dream bibles with them. I think dreams can give clues as to what is going on in someone's life, but I don't see them as being the end all be all. Unless we're talking about dreams where God gives visions, but we're not talking about those kind of dreams here.
For instance, my husband always has the most interesting dreams when he is stressed by either work or church. Things have been a bit crazy with his calling and one night he dreamt about trying to run sacrament meeting on his own, but all these horrible things kept happening and then stake president was there for a visit. Plus Marshall didn't have a suit on and was dressed very casual. The other night he dreamt that I inherited two million dollars. We paid off our house, van, student loans, and still had lots of money left over to invest and watch grow. He took a job as a teacher and that paid for groceries and utilities. I found it fascinating that all the details were taken care of in his dream. And I know my husband would love to teach. It's his dream job. But he also has us to provide for, so he's a lawyer. I wonder if he had a crazy day at work.
Let's look at my dreams. Actually, we really shouldn't. Being pregnant always makes me have the oddest dreams. Usually it is Marshall who is busy flirting up a storm with anything that walks in my pregnancy dreams. But not this pregnancy. Apparently I am the one with the wandering eye because it's now my turn to have all the affairs. It's so funny and sometime very annoying. Where do I get all that energy? "Brain! What are you thinking?! Stop those dreams right now, you naughty brain!" It almost makes me wonder "What on earth is wrong with me?" I am sure Marshall is loving the fact that I am getting a taste of my own medicine, finally. In real life I think my husband is the hottest stuff around, but my subconscious (if that is where dreams come from) must have other ideas. At least I don't know anyone I chase after in my dreams. That would be awkward. So let's determine that dreams can give a peek into one's subconscience, except for when one is pregnant. All rules are off then and who knows what on earth will happen!
Me at 22 1/2 weeks. The cause of all my crazy dreams.
For instance, my husband always has the most interesting dreams when he is stressed by either work or church. Things have been a bit crazy with his calling and one night he dreamt about trying to run sacrament meeting on his own, but all these horrible things kept happening and then stake president was there for a visit. Plus Marshall didn't have a suit on and was dressed very casual. The other night he dreamt that I inherited two million dollars. We paid off our house, van, student loans, and still had lots of money left over to invest and watch grow. He took a job as a teacher and that paid for groceries and utilities. I found it fascinating that all the details were taken care of in his dream. And I know my husband would love to teach. It's his dream job. But he also has us to provide for, so he's a lawyer. I wonder if he had a crazy day at work.
Let's look at my dreams. Actually, we really shouldn't. Being pregnant always makes me have the oddest dreams. Usually it is Marshall who is busy flirting up a storm with anything that walks in my pregnancy dreams. But not this pregnancy. Apparently I am the one with the wandering eye because it's now my turn to have all the affairs. It's so funny and sometime very annoying. Where do I get all that energy? "Brain! What are you thinking?! Stop those dreams right now, you naughty brain!" It almost makes me wonder "What on earth is wrong with me?" I am sure Marshall is loving the fact that I am getting a taste of my own medicine, finally. In real life I think my husband is the hottest stuff around, but my subconscious (if that is where dreams come from) must have other ideas. At least I don't know anyone I chase after in my dreams. That would be awkward. So let's determine that dreams can give a peek into one's subconscience, except for when one is pregnant. All rules are off then and who knows what on earth will happen!
Me at 22 1/2 weeks. The cause of all my crazy dreams.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Magical Lotion
Yesterday I noticed on my Jergen's lotion bottle that it said "penetrates and transforms" skin. This claim just made me laugh. I am all about a lotion that can penetrate my skin and moisturize it. D'uh, why would I buy a lotion that wouldn't?
But the transform part cracked me up. What kind of transformation are we talking about here? I am assuming something good. If I put it on my stomach, will it transform my stretch marks back into normal looking skin? Or if I put it on my chest will it transform it to the pre-nursing firmness? Or will it transform cellulite on thighs to smooth and silky skin? What if I put it on my front door? Will it magically transform the rough surface to a newly sanded and painted door? Or if I sprayed it on the clover patches in my backyard would it all change to grass? Can I rub it on my debit card and transform my bank account to have millions? When my kids are misbehaving, can I rub it on them and transform them into angel children? Should I try it on my husband's head and see if his baldness changes into thick luscious locks? I need to know these things. To transform is a big claim and I want to know what I can expect. I'll guess I'll keep using the lotion (just on me)and wait for the magical results. One can hope, right?
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I Am Doing It!
The other day it hit me that Anna is six. Well, d'uh, right? She's been six since May. Maybe it's all the family history work I've been doing or something else, but I've been reflecting a lot on my life. When Anna's six birthday was fast approaching, I told Marshall "I was six when my parents got divorced. We need to be extra careful this year." It sounds stupid, I know, but I was worried about some stupid six year old child curse on our marriage. Perhaps the effects of growing up in a divorced family make you really odd. Who knows?
When we were first married I would always ask Marshall "How do you know that you won't ever leave me?" He'd say "I just do. I made a commitment and covenants not to." My reply "But how do you really know?" I wanted a written document or some binding Ariel-giving-her-voice-to-Ursula-type contract that he would never leave. It was hard to believe that I could trust him. Not that Marshall is untrustworthy (all lawyer jokes aside), but trust wasn't big on my list in relationships. I didn't see a lot of it growing up. You mean people just trust each other and are cool with that? No magical binding contracts needed? Hmmm.
Well, I've gotten wiser over the years and I do trust Marshall. (I am sure he is glad because I would have wanted to kill me those first years of marriage. "Stop asking woman!") But back to my pondering. Anna is six and her life is dramatically different and better than mine was at that age. Not to say my parents are or were bad people. They are amazing and wonderful and I love them greatly. But divorce shatters a child's world of trust, as seen by the first years of my marriage. It makes me so happy to know that I am actually making the changes in my kids' lives that I vowed to do. My world was crazy at six and so unstable and unsure of what the future held. I still at times feel the consequences of the various divorces I was a part of in my childhood and youth. But Anna's world is different. Her biggest worry is whether or not she'll lose her Pooh-Bear blankie for being crazy at bedtime or if I'll let her color a little bit longer before dinner. Or will there be any dessert tonight ? These are normal concerns of a child. It makes me so happy to know that I am making a change. I am doing it! And maybe my kids can be even better than I am for their children. (Though how one improves upon perfection is beyond me!)
When we were first married I would always ask Marshall "How do you know that you won't ever leave me?" He'd say "I just do. I made a commitment and covenants not to." My reply "But how do you really know?" I wanted a written document or some binding Ariel-giving-her-voice-to-Ursula-type contract that he would never leave. It was hard to believe that I could trust him. Not that Marshall is untrustworthy (all lawyer jokes aside), but trust wasn't big on my list in relationships. I didn't see a lot of it growing up. You mean people just trust each other and are cool with that? No magical binding contracts needed? Hmmm.
Well, I've gotten wiser over the years and I do trust Marshall. (I am sure he is glad because I would have wanted to kill me those first years of marriage. "Stop asking woman!") But back to my pondering. Anna is six and her life is dramatically different and better than mine was at that age. Not to say my parents are or were bad people. They are amazing and wonderful and I love them greatly. But divorce shatters a child's world of trust, as seen by the first years of my marriage. It makes me so happy to know that I am actually making the changes in my kids' lives that I vowed to do. My world was crazy at six and so unstable and unsure of what the future held. I still at times feel the consequences of the various divorces I was a part of in my childhood and youth. But Anna's world is different. Her biggest worry is whether or not she'll lose her Pooh-Bear blankie for being crazy at bedtime or if I'll let her color a little bit longer before dinner. Or will there be any dessert tonight ? These are normal concerns of a child. It makes me so happy to know that I am making a change. I am doing it! And maybe my kids can be even better than I am for their children. (Though how one improves upon perfection is beyond me!)
Monday, August 18, 2008
The Joys of Adulthood
So I have a big zit on my chin. What is up with that? Thank you hormones! Am I not almost 30? It got me reflecting on some of the not-so-fun aspects of being an adult. I am sure there are more, but you get the idea.
1. Student loans, mortgage, car payments, groceries, taxes, etc: What do you mean I make this much money, but I only actually get this much once everything is paid? Ah, the joys of adulthood. When as a kid you dreamed of making money and being so rich, but then reality comes in adulthood in the form of bills.
2. Energy: So why do we have nap time when we are kids and could bounce off the walls all day long? Sure, some kids are crabby when they don't nap, but call me between one and two when we have quiet time and you'll get the same response from me. As an adult my energy level has gone down, not to mention anything about being pregnant. I would love to be able to catch a quick cat nap every day. (Okay, I usually do with the help of a quiet time show, but still...) It would be nice if we could all have some down time every day to get recharged.
3. Cooking: I love to cook. It is a creative art and I love trying out new things. But I don't want to cook every day. Some days I get tired and want to say "Kids! We're having ice cream and popcorn for dinner!" (We did do that for lunch once.) But if I don't cook, we don't get meals. Marshall is an excellent chef, but if we had to wait for him to get home from work and cook the meals, we'd all be hungry savage beasts of crabbiness. So I cook, even if some days I'd rather not.
4. Gravity, stretch marks, and tummy pooches: You know what I am talking about with gravity. What is up with that? So not cool. And stretch marks and pooches, they don't really talk about those in prenatal class. Then you have a baby and think "Good heavens! What is this? Where is my stomach? What is this raw pizza dough-like substance?" And it doesn't go away unless you work at it. No Elasta-Girls in reality. Stretch marks, they stay. Oh they fade, but never completely.
5. Pimples: C'mon. I lived through the teenage years in the hopes of not having pimples as an adult. What's up with random zits, pimples, and mondo pustules? They are occasional, but still very annoying. Isn't there a rule about not breaking out once you hit adulthood? Tell that to my hormones.
6. Cleaning and laundry: See the above on cooking, though I do not find either to be a creative outlet, but rather a necessary evil. Some days I'd rather not bother.
7. Nasty phone calls and children's bodily functions: When first dealing with both I wanted to have my mom come in and do them. But then I realized, I am the mom! Ah! No one is going to handle this crabby person or poop on my carpet, but me. Dang!
8. Increase in loss of vision and memory: As if I'm not already blind. Okay, not as blind as Marshall, but who knows what the future holds? And as for memory loss, I did go to college and graduate with a 4.0, but don't ask me now what I am doing for the week unless I have my calendar handy. All those little things you tend to let slip. I blame it on the kids. With each one that comes, they take a little bit of my mind with them.
9. Regular health check-ups: Can't I just mail in whatever needs to be checked and the doctor can send it back after the exam? Or the joys of when I get older and things get even more invasive. Let's think of new ways to torture women! And let's talk about all the things I need to look out for in my family history that could kill me off. So depressing.
Ah, the joys of adulthood. Okay, so it isn't that bad. I can still buy candy and eat it on the sly without worrying about getting in trouble with my mom.
1. Student loans, mortgage, car payments, groceries, taxes, etc: What do you mean I make this much money, but I only actually get this much once everything is paid? Ah, the joys of adulthood. When as a kid you dreamed of making money and being so rich, but then reality comes in adulthood in the form of bills.
2. Energy: So why do we have nap time when we are kids and could bounce off the walls all day long? Sure, some kids are crabby when they don't nap, but call me between one and two when we have quiet time and you'll get the same response from me. As an adult my energy level has gone down, not to mention anything about being pregnant. I would love to be able to catch a quick cat nap every day. (Okay, I usually do with the help of a quiet time show, but still...) It would be nice if we could all have some down time every day to get recharged.
3. Cooking: I love to cook. It is a creative art and I love trying out new things. But I don't want to cook every day. Some days I get tired and want to say "Kids! We're having ice cream and popcorn for dinner!" (We did do that for lunch once.) But if I don't cook, we don't get meals. Marshall is an excellent chef, but if we had to wait for him to get home from work and cook the meals, we'd all be hungry savage beasts of crabbiness. So I cook, even if some days I'd rather not.
4. Gravity, stretch marks, and tummy pooches: You know what I am talking about with gravity. What is up with that? So not cool. And stretch marks and pooches, they don't really talk about those in prenatal class. Then you have a baby and think "Good heavens! What is this? Where is my stomach? What is this raw pizza dough-like substance?" And it doesn't go away unless you work at it. No Elasta-Girls in reality. Stretch marks, they stay. Oh they fade, but never completely.
5. Pimples: C'mon. I lived through the teenage years in the hopes of not having pimples as an adult. What's up with random zits, pimples, and mondo pustules? They are occasional, but still very annoying. Isn't there a rule about not breaking out once you hit adulthood? Tell that to my hormones.
6. Cleaning and laundry: See the above on cooking, though I do not find either to be a creative outlet, but rather a necessary evil. Some days I'd rather not bother.
7. Nasty phone calls and children's bodily functions: When first dealing with both I wanted to have my mom come in and do them. But then I realized, I am the mom! Ah! No one is going to handle this crabby person or poop on my carpet, but me. Dang!
8. Increase in loss of vision and memory: As if I'm not already blind. Okay, not as blind as Marshall, but who knows what the future holds? And as for memory loss, I did go to college and graduate with a 4.0, but don't ask me now what I am doing for the week unless I have my calendar handy. All those little things you tend to let slip. I blame it on the kids. With each one that comes, they take a little bit of my mind with them.
9. Regular health check-ups: Can't I just mail in whatever needs to be checked and the doctor can send it back after the exam? Or the joys of when I get older and things get even more invasive. Let's think of new ways to torture women! And let's talk about all the things I need to look out for in my family history that could kill me off. So depressing.
Ah, the joys of adulthood. Okay, so it isn't that bad. I can still buy candy and eat it on the sly without worrying about getting in trouble with my mom.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Those Amazing Men Who Serve
It's Sunday night and we are sitting and watching the Olympics. The phone rings and I know that no one calls for me on Sunday. Marshall takes the phone and goes into his favorite place to talk, the laundry room. (Why he never picks the office/ toy room, I'll never know.) After a few minutes of waiting I go and start playing on-line. He comes in ten minutes later to inform me that he's going to need to make some calls and will be on the phone for awhile.
This is just one example of what life is like for my bishop husband. Today he came home from church feeling very tired from all the people who came to visit him about financial, familial, and marital problems. He hears it all and then some and has to find a way to counsel and help these people. Thank goodness he has the Lord on his side.
Not growing up in the church and seeing a father serve in callings, I never understood all the time and dedication it takes to be in a priesthood calling. I know we all have responsibilities with our callings (not to mention the intensity of being a Relief Society or Primary President, but we're focusing on the guys here) , but seeing a bishop in action in my home and life has been an eye opening experience. These men that lead and serve us spend countless hours in meetings, counseling people, and seeking revelation concerning how to best lead the ward, stake, and church. As I sat in church today and looked up at Marshall while the sacrament prayer was being said (my eyes were already opened due to sitting with small children) I watched him look out over the ward and pause here and there as he gained insight about certain people. I knew it was happening and it was so neat to see. He really is called of God!
Many praises and blessings to these wonderful men who lead and guide us, whether it be at the ward, stake, or higher church level. One cannot imagine the hours they spend serving in their callings. I know there are so many times when they'd rather be with their families and relaxing than doing what they are asked to do. It's not always "fun". They don't do it for money, praise, or power. They do it because they have a testimony of the Lord and are committed to Him. Personally, I am so glad I don't have to be a bishop, stake president, or prophet. I think there is a reason why those callings are reserved for men not only because of the priesthood, but also because of how men and women are made. I am very grateful for all the priesthood holders, especially my sweet bishop husband, who serve me daily. These wonderful men are amazing examples of being a true disciple of Christ.
This is just one example of what life is like for my bishop husband. Today he came home from church feeling very tired from all the people who came to visit him about financial, familial, and marital problems. He hears it all and then some and has to find a way to counsel and help these people. Thank goodness he has the Lord on his side.
Not growing up in the church and seeing a father serve in callings, I never understood all the time and dedication it takes to be in a priesthood calling. I know we all have responsibilities with our callings (not to mention the intensity of being a Relief Society or Primary President, but we're focusing on the guys here) , but seeing a bishop in action in my home and life has been an eye opening experience. These men that lead and serve us spend countless hours in meetings, counseling people, and seeking revelation concerning how to best lead the ward, stake, and church. As I sat in church today and looked up at Marshall while the sacrament prayer was being said (my eyes were already opened due to sitting with small children) I watched him look out over the ward and pause here and there as he gained insight about certain people. I knew it was happening and it was so neat to see. He really is called of God!
Many praises and blessings to these wonderful men who lead and guide us, whether it be at the ward, stake, or higher church level. One cannot imagine the hours they spend serving in their callings. I know there are so many times when they'd rather be with their families and relaxing than doing what they are asked to do. It's not always "fun". They don't do it for money, praise, or power. They do it because they have a testimony of the Lord and are committed to Him. Personally, I am so glad I don't have to be a bishop, stake president, or prophet. I think there is a reason why those callings are reserved for men not only because of the priesthood, but also because of how men and women are made. I am very grateful for all the priesthood holders, especially my sweet bishop husband, who serve me daily. These wonderful men are amazing examples of being a true disciple of Christ.
How do I love thee?
I do little things every day that show my love for my husband. Goodness, being pregnant and uncomfortable is a big way to show him that I love him. Doing the monotonous chores of laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. are other ways. But today I thought he better know how much I love him because of dinner. I'm not talking about the home made apple pie or fresh baked rolls that will be awaiting him when he gets home from church. Oh no. I'm talking about the chicken.
You see, yesterday we were at the store and he picked out a whole chicken to cook for Sunday dinner. I was totally cool with the idea because we haven't done a big chicken since I don't know when and I was coming up short for ideas for Sunday dinner. I knew I would have to cook it, even though he said he would prepare it, because he'd be at church all day. I've been cooking meat for the past 8 years, even though I never eat it. Yep, I'm a vegetarian. Have been for 15 years and always will be. So who knows if I can actually cook meat. I must do a good job or Marshall must be a great liar. I don't mind cooking meat or eating things that have been cooked with meat. I just don't like the texture of meat.
However, Marshall didn't have time to prepare the chicken this morning. Fancy that since he starts church at some early hour with lots of meetings. So at the appointed time I got the chicken out of the fridge and read the instructions. It mentioned something about taking the giblets out of the body cavity and I think "Wait a minute. This isn't what I had signed up for." I had completely forgotten about the giblet part. Well, it was one of the situations where no one else was there to do it so I had to do it myself. I couldn't call Marshall home from church for 5 minutes just to do it. "Sorry, tell the person their confession will have to wait because I have a giblet emergency!" At least I know where my priorities lie. Eternal salvation is still more important than giblet emergencies. So I took the plunge and removed the giblets. Now mind you, I've been slicing, dicing, and bagging raw meat for the past eight years. But the feeling of taking out those giblets was just nasty. Ugh. No thank you times a million. In case I was bordering on wanting to eat meat again, that cured me from being tempted.
So Marshall, you better know how much I love you today by my preparing and cooking a whole chicken. I wouldn't do that for just anyone.
You see, yesterday we were at the store and he picked out a whole chicken to cook for Sunday dinner. I was totally cool with the idea because we haven't done a big chicken since I don't know when and I was coming up short for ideas for Sunday dinner. I knew I would have to cook it, even though he said he would prepare it, because he'd be at church all day. I've been cooking meat for the past 8 years, even though I never eat it. Yep, I'm a vegetarian. Have been for 15 years and always will be. So who knows if I can actually cook meat. I must do a good job or Marshall must be a great liar. I don't mind cooking meat or eating things that have been cooked with meat. I just don't like the texture of meat.
However, Marshall didn't have time to prepare the chicken this morning. Fancy that since he starts church at some early hour with lots of meetings. So at the appointed time I got the chicken out of the fridge and read the instructions. It mentioned something about taking the giblets out of the body cavity and I think "Wait a minute. This isn't what I had signed up for." I had completely forgotten about the giblet part. Well, it was one of the situations where no one else was there to do it so I had to do it myself. I couldn't call Marshall home from church for 5 minutes just to do it. "Sorry, tell the person their confession will have to wait because I have a giblet emergency!" At least I know where my priorities lie. Eternal salvation is still more important than giblet emergencies. So I took the plunge and removed the giblets. Now mind you, I've been slicing, dicing, and bagging raw meat for the past eight years. But the feeling of taking out those giblets was just nasty. Ugh. No thank you times a million. In case I was bordering on wanting to eat meat again, that cured me from being tempted.
So Marshall, you better know how much I love you today by my preparing and cooking a whole chicken. I wouldn't do that for just anyone.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
No Crabbies, Please!
One of my biggest pet peeves is crabby people. Now I know we all have bad moments and are allowed to have bad days. I am cool with that. I am talking about people who are perpetually crabby. Nothing ever seems to go right for them. Life is too hectic and crazy. Their world is coming to an end daily. No one has it as bad as they do.
These people also tend to be very self focused. Maybe that's why they are so crabby. They will go on and on about how horrible things are for themselves, never stopping to ask for a moment how you or anyone else is doing. It is all about them. Being around these type of people is emotionally draining and gets old. I have no tolerance for crabby people. I tend to avoid those friends and family members who have eternal pinecones. They are not fun to be around. Maybe it's because I've dealt with enough grouches in my younger years that I've reached my quota. No more crabbies please!
It especially bugs me when these perpetually crabby people tend to complain about their spouses or kids. I tend to hear more women complain about their husbands than the other way around. Granted I don't hang out with lots of men because that would be awkward. Some women find a complaint in everything. "My husband wanted to take us all out to dinner tonight and I don't know why." "He tried cleaning up the house and didn't do it right." Girl, be happy for what you get because if I was living with your crabby butt, I wouldn't be tempted to be kind to you either! I agree that there should be an agreement on how the house is run and kids are raised. Fathers should step in and help. But if the wife is going to beat him down every time he does something to lighten her load, soon the husband isn't going to want to help. So be quiet and let him do it his way!
As for kids, they can be very challenging at times. Constant messes and siblings fights, stubborn refusals to do chores or homework, and the list goes on. Yeah, it's tough raising kids. But if you can't find joy with your children, then you really need to reconsider your attitude. A hug, kiss, or cute phrase. Having them repeat something they learned from you or having them show how much they truly do admire you and their siblings. Making a right choice all on their own. Those are the golden moments. If you look, and it's not that hard, you can find little things every day that bring you joy in being a parent.
Like I said, perpetually crabby people annoy me. Nothing in life is worth making you miserable, trust me. I've seen some doosies in my life and I still can't find anything worth being crabby about. Life is too precious to spend bitter and upset. Have a bad day once in awhile, but then get over it, move on, and look outward. "Suck it up!" You'll be better for it!
These people also tend to be very self focused. Maybe that's why they are so crabby. They will go on and on about how horrible things are for themselves, never stopping to ask for a moment how you or anyone else is doing. It is all about them. Being around these type of people is emotionally draining and gets old. I have no tolerance for crabby people. I tend to avoid those friends and family members who have eternal pinecones. They are not fun to be around. Maybe it's because I've dealt with enough grouches in my younger years that I've reached my quota. No more crabbies please!
It especially bugs me when these perpetually crabby people tend to complain about their spouses or kids. I tend to hear more women complain about their husbands than the other way around. Granted I don't hang out with lots of men because that would be awkward. Some women find a complaint in everything. "My husband wanted to take us all out to dinner tonight and I don't know why." "He tried cleaning up the house and didn't do it right." Girl, be happy for what you get because if I was living with your crabby butt, I wouldn't be tempted to be kind to you either! I agree that there should be an agreement on how the house is run and kids are raised. Fathers should step in and help. But if the wife is going to beat him down every time he does something to lighten her load, soon the husband isn't going to want to help. So be quiet and let him do it his way!
As for kids, they can be very challenging at times. Constant messes and siblings fights, stubborn refusals to do chores or homework, and the list goes on. Yeah, it's tough raising kids. But if you can't find joy with your children, then you really need to reconsider your attitude. A hug, kiss, or cute phrase. Having them repeat something they learned from you or having them show how much they truly do admire you and their siblings. Making a right choice all on their own. Those are the golden moments. If you look, and it's not that hard, you can find little things every day that bring you joy in being a parent.
Like I said, perpetually crabby people annoy me. Nothing in life is worth making you miserable, trust me. I've seen some doosies in my life and I still can't find anything worth being crabby about. Life is too precious to spend bitter and upset. Have a bad day once in awhile, but then get over it, move on, and look outward. "Suck it up!" You'll be better for it!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Wonderful Husband
Last week we celebrated our 8th anniversary while camping in the mountains. I can't believe it's been eight years! It seems like we haven't been married that long, but at the same time I can't imagine life before Marshall. Did it really exist? I don't want to think about it because life without Marshall wouldn't be happy.
This morning I was reflecting on what a great husband Marshall is. I have this little life growing inside of me that seems to suck away all my energy away. I am so tired and have had the hardest time getting my rump out of bed. This morning Rachel and Jimmy woke up at 6:30 and Marshall took them downstairs so I could sleep a little longer. Then he showered and got Anna up and breakfast going for everyone. How awesome is that? I can't list all the kind things he does daily. Somehow, despite his very busy schedule he finds the time to do those little things that help out so much. He is very attentive and observant, more than I often give credit, about what needs to be done.
Thinking back to when we were dating, Marshall seemed to have all the qualities I wanted in a husband and father for my kids. And he hasn't let me down at all over these past years. He loves the Gospel and serves whole hearted. It is ingrained in him. He wouldn't trade his testimony for anything. And I wanted someone who was committed beyond death to the gospel. No falling away lame priesthood holders for me! I wanted a man who was dedicated to the Lord. Marshall also is laid back and willing to help with anything; chores, kids, etc. He is very much a part of the kids' lives and takes a great interest in what they are doing and learning. I wanted a "hands on" father. It's hard to balance it all with his schedule, but he still finds time to make the kids feel special and loved. And he is hopelessly devoted to me. I know he wants me to be happy and would walk to the ends of the earth to make me happy, though that wouldn't make me happy because he would be gone for so long and I'd miss him! He is very much concerned about my happiness and well-being. Marshall is also a great provider. It has been interesting to see him excel at his schooling and now career. Often being an attorney is monotonous, but he goes to work every day. I wanted a husband like my dad, who drove truck for 29 years and didn't love it, but did it because he had a family for provide for. And Marshall has that same commitment to his family. When I hear other wives complain about their husbands, I have nothing to say. I would never complain publicly about Marshall, but even if I wanted to I could never think of anything to complain about.
So yeah, I have a good deal and I know it. I have an amazing husband who blesses me daily. Plus he is a cutie with a lovable personality. He makes me laugh. He sings to me. We can be silly together, we can be serious, we can cry, and we can work through things together. We make a great team. These past eight years have been such an adventure. I can't wait to see what the next eight years hold. No matter what, I know it'll be fun and well worth the ride since I will have Marshall right by my side.
This morning I was reflecting on what a great husband Marshall is. I have this little life growing inside of me that seems to suck away all my energy away. I am so tired and have had the hardest time getting my rump out of bed. This morning Rachel and Jimmy woke up at 6:30 and Marshall took them downstairs so I could sleep a little longer. Then he showered and got Anna up and breakfast going for everyone. How awesome is that? I can't list all the kind things he does daily. Somehow, despite his very busy schedule he finds the time to do those little things that help out so much. He is very attentive and observant, more than I often give credit, about what needs to be done.
Thinking back to when we were dating, Marshall seemed to have all the qualities I wanted in a husband and father for my kids. And he hasn't let me down at all over these past years. He loves the Gospel and serves whole hearted. It is ingrained in him. He wouldn't trade his testimony for anything. And I wanted someone who was committed beyond death to the gospel. No falling away lame priesthood holders for me! I wanted a man who was dedicated to the Lord. Marshall also is laid back and willing to help with anything; chores, kids, etc. He is very much a part of the kids' lives and takes a great interest in what they are doing and learning. I wanted a "hands on" father. It's hard to balance it all with his schedule, but he still finds time to make the kids feel special and loved. And he is hopelessly devoted to me. I know he wants me to be happy and would walk to the ends of the earth to make me happy, though that wouldn't make me happy because he would be gone for so long and I'd miss him! He is very much concerned about my happiness and well-being. Marshall is also a great provider. It has been interesting to see him excel at his schooling and now career. Often being an attorney is monotonous, but he goes to work every day. I wanted a husband like my dad, who drove truck for 29 years and didn't love it, but did it because he had a family for provide for. And Marshall has that same commitment to his family. When I hear other wives complain about their husbands, I have nothing to say. I would never complain publicly about Marshall, but even if I wanted to I could never think of anything to complain about.
So yeah, I have a good deal and I know it. I have an amazing husband who blesses me daily. Plus he is a cutie with a lovable personality. He makes me laugh. He sings to me. We can be silly together, we can be serious, we can cry, and we can work through things together. We make a great team. These past eight years have been such an adventure. I can't wait to see what the next eight years hold. No matter what, I know it'll be fun and well worth the ride since I will have Marshall right by my side.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Not Alone
I've been pondering tender mercies in my life lately, mostly due to my sister-in-law's blog about them. It amazes me how much the Lord is aware of me and my needs, especially at those times when I don't think I can do anymore. When I want to give up.
Tuesday night was one of those nights. It has been a long few days with just getting back from vacation. Marshall has been very busy and stressed catching up with work and church responsibilities. The kids and I have been adjusting to being back home and school starting. I'm still feeling weak from whatever silly disease I picked up from the mountains. It seems like Rachel and Jimmy have been fighting every chance they get and Anna, the great entertainer and leader, is gone at school all day. Tuesday night the girls were just beasts about going to bed and Marshall was late at church doing not-so-fun bishop things. I found myself in my closet (my favorite place to pour my heart out) praying and crying because I had hit the end of my strength and sanity. Wondering why now that my husband has to be bishop when we have a young family, I am pregnant with my 4th, and he is a young attorney that works many billable hours. Not knowing how I am going to do it all and wishing I didn't have to share my husband with the ward. Just feeling like I had no more to give.
Poor Marshall came home to find me in my emotional state (and I am sure pregnancy didn't help my crying) and did his best to comfort me and reassure me that it would be okay. But I went to bed feeling very bummed about life and not getting the inspiration I had wanted from my prayers.
Wednesday morning when I read my scriptures I made sure to pay close attention because I usually get revelation through my reading. And there it was "Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend." (Mosiah 4:9) Okay, so the Lord is aware of me. I needed to be reminded that although things may not always make sense to me concerning my husband's busy calling, the Lord knows what He is doing. He has the wisdom to see it and the power to help me and my family do it. I'm not alone. I know there will be many nights to come when I petition the Lord in tears and ask for help, when I think I can't do anymore. And I know He will come through and let me know, in some way, that I can do it. Thank goodness for the Gospel. I would be so lost without it and the tender mercies of the Lord.
Tuesday night was one of those nights. It has been a long few days with just getting back from vacation. Marshall has been very busy and stressed catching up with work and church responsibilities. The kids and I have been adjusting to being back home and school starting. I'm still feeling weak from whatever silly disease I picked up from the mountains. It seems like Rachel and Jimmy have been fighting every chance they get and Anna, the great entertainer and leader, is gone at school all day. Tuesday night the girls were just beasts about going to bed and Marshall was late at church doing not-so-fun bishop things. I found myself in my closet (my favorite place to pour my heart out) praying and crying because I had hit the end of my strength and sanity. Wondering why now that my husband has to be bishop when we have a young family, I am pregnant with my 4th, and he is a young attorney that works many billable hours. Not knowing how I am going to do it all and wishing I didn't have to share my husband with the ward. Just feeling like I had no more to give.
Poor Marshall came home to find me in my emotional state (and I am sure pregnancy didn't help my crying) and did his best to comfort me and reassure me that it would be okay. But I went to bed feeling very bummed about life and not getting the inspiration I had wanted from my prayers.
Wednesday morning when I read my scriptures I made sure to pay close attention because I usually get revelation through my reading. And there it was "Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend." (Mosiah 4:9) Okay, so the Lord is aware of me. I needed to be reminded that although things may not always make sense to me concerning my husband's busy calling, the Lord knows what He is doing. He has the wisdom to see it and the power to help me and my family do it. I'm not alone. I know there will be many nights to come when I petition the Lord in tears and ask for help, when I think I can't do anymore. And I know He will come through and let me know, in some way, that I can do it. Thank goodness for the Gospel. I would be so lost without it and the tender mercies of the Lord.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Curse of the toilets
I've decided that the toilets in our house or cursed. I am sure that it has nothing to do with the three small children that live here or that our toilets are ten years old. No, they are cursed.
It first happened with the downstairs toilet. After a mysterious disappearance of three pairs of My Little Pony panties, which have yet to be found, the toilet would periodically clog. It doesn't matter what business is done, the potty can still refuse to drain. So we keep a plunger by it just in case. What great decor! We go through good and bad phases with the flush ability of this toilet. What really needs to happen is someone has to call a plumber, but that would take some effort and memory and since we haven't flooded ourselves out yet we are good so far.
Then the kids' bathroom toilet kept running. Being completely clueless on any kind of home repairs, it took us two months to finally get the right parts to fix the thing. We ended up having to replace the flush valve and I can say that I feel smart because I now know what one is. We actually have fixed that toilet, go us!
Now that we are back from vacation, we discovered the toilet in our bathroom has the same running problem as the kids' toilet did. It is very annoying and I am about to take a sledge hammer to it. See that would be my choice method of repair with all things. Just destroy and buy a new one! Plus the handle on our toilet has been falling off periodically since the day we moved in. But I am not a millionaire and so bought a new flush valve instead of a toilet. Now I just need my busy husband to replace it. Despite what people think, I am bigger and am not about to squeeze this 5 month pregnant body into a tight space to fix the toilet. It ain't happening and if it does, there will be some choice words said in the process. So I suppose I'll just have to wait for my husband to do it and not risk my eternal salvation by murdering someone in the process of fixing it.
See, our toilets are cursed. Or maybe it's me and I need to learn more about home repairs. But I think I'll blame the toilets instead.
It first happened with the downstairs toilet. After a mysterious disappearance of three pairs of My Little Pony panties, which have yet to be found, the toilet would periodically clog. It doesn't matter what business is done, the potty can still refuse to drain. So we keep a plunger by it just in case. What great decor! We go through good and bad phases with the flush ability of this toilet. What really needs to happen is someone has to call a plumber, but that would take some effort and memory and since we haven't flooded ourselves out yet we are good so far.
Then the kids' bathroom toilet kept running. Being completely clueless on any kind of home repairs, it took us two months to finally get the right parts to fix the thing. We ended up having to replace the flush valve and I can say that I feel smart because I now know what one is. We actually have fixed that toilet, go us!
Now that we are back from vacation, we discovered the toilet in our bathroom has the same running problem as the kids' toilet did. It is very annoying and I am about to take a sledge hammer to it. See that would be my choice method of repair with all things. Just destroy and buy a new one! Plus the handle on our toilet has been falling off periodically since the day we moved in. But I am not a millionaire and so bought a new flush valve instead of a toilet. Now I just need my busy husband to replace it. Despite what people think, I am bigger and am not about to squeeze this 5 month pregnant body into a tight space to fix the toilet. It ain't happening and if it does, there will be some choice words said in the process. So I suppose I'll just have to wait for my husband to do it and not risk my eternal salvation by murdering someone in the process of fixing it.
See, our toilets are cursed. Or maybe it's me and I need to learn more about home repairs. But I think I'll blame the toilets instead.
Just a pet?
This morning as I was waiting to see the doctor at my monthly baby check-up, I had fun reading a brain candy magazine, "People". I call it brain candy because it's full of mostly useless knowledge that is interesting to know, but not very important at all. Just a fun read. Anyhow, I skimmed through the celebrity highlights page where all the engagements, birthdays, births, divorces, deaths, etc. of the great egos are listed and was shocked to come across the death announcement of Tori Spelling's 11 year-old dog. Um, it's a dog and it's in the celeb death column. Does anyone see anything wrong with this?
First off, like I said, it's a dog. Who cares? Secondly, it's Tori Spelling. I think I've only seen her in "Beverly Hills 90210". The woman can't act, but we still should care about not only her, but the death of her dog. I don't think so. It's just another way of showing how completely insane people are when it comes to their pets.
I had two cats growing up and I loved them. We had so much fun playing with them. There is something very calming about holding a purring cat in your lap. (But I can't do that anymore because I am now allergic to them.)I was sad when they each died, but I got over it. They were my pets. They were good animals, but pets die.
It amazes me how people treat their pets like family, their own flesh and blood, their children. Who needs to have kids when you can buy a dog, dress it up, and pamper it? Of course, it has stinky breath, is hairy, won't say "I love you" or hug you in a tender moment. I know there is a huge market out there for pet lovers who treat their animals like family, but people, pets are pets, not humans. So stop acting like idiots. I don't want to read about your pet dying in a celeb obituary column. I guess that is what I get for getting my fix of brain candy.
First off, like I said, it's a dog. Who cares? Secondly, it's Tori Spelling. I think I've only seen her in "Beverly Hills 90210". The woman can't act, but we still should care about not only her, but the death of her dog. I don't think so. It's just another way of showing how completely insane people are when it comes to their pets.
I had two cats growing up and I loved them. We had so much fun playing with them. There is something very calming about holding a purring cat in your lap. (But I can't do that anymore because I am now allergic to them.)I was sad when they each died, but I got over it. They were my pets. They were good animals, but pets die.
It amazes me how people treat their pets like family, their own flesh and blood, their children. Who needs to have kids when you can buy a dog, dress it up, and pamper it? Of course, it has stinky breath, is hairy, won't say "I love you" or hug you in a tender moment. I know there is a huge market out there for pet lovers who treat their animals like family, but people, pets are pets, not humans. So stop acting like idiots. I don't want to read about your pet dying in a celeb obituary column. I guess that is what I get for getting my fix of brain candy.
Monday, August 11, 2008
First Day of School Jitters for Me
Tomorrow is the first day of school and is Anna's first year going all day. She is SO excited about starting First Grade and eating lunch at school. Last year she was upset because she didn't get to do such cool things. I am sure tonight she will have a hard time going to sleep because she is so excited.
I am torn. I am really excited for her and I know she'll have fun. But part of me is sad because she'll be my first kid to go all day. Ah! What happened to time? Of course, I have also looked forward to this day because it means my job gets easier, but at the same time my little girl is growing up! Who said she could do that?
And then part of me worries if she will be okay. Will she get lost? Will she be too shy to ask for help if she can't open her milk at lunch? Will she miss me? Will she get too tired? How will she do? I am sure these are all normal worries for a first time mom. I just can't believe the time is here already.
So yes, the first day of school is tomorrow and I have more jitters than Anna. She'll do wonderfully and I am sure once a few days pass and I see that she is okay, I will calm down too.
I am torn. I am really excited for her and I know she'll have fun. But part of me is sad because she'll be my first kid to go all day. Ah! What happened to time? Of course, I have also looked forward to this day because it means my job gets easier, but at the same time my little girl is growing up! Who said she could do that?
And then part of me worries if she will be okay. Will she get lost? Will she be too shy to ask for help if she can't open her milk at lunch? Will she miss me? Will she get too tired? How will she do? I am sure these are all normal worries for a first time mom. I just can't believe the time is here already.
So yes, the first day of school is tomorrow and I have more jitters than Anna. She'll do wonderfully and I am sure once a few days pass and I see that she is okay, I will calm down too.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Halfway Mark!
Today marks the halfway point in my pregnancy and I am filled with mixed emotions. I am so excited to meet our new addition. I can't imagine another boy combination of us and what he'll look like. I am anxious to see what his little personality will be like.
I also am amazed that I am already at 20 weeks. It only seems like in the past two months I have felt pregnant. Sure, I've been sick all along, but I only have started to show and feel the baby move in the past month or so. I thought the sickness would never end, but it has subsided greatly and here I am at 20 weeks! Wow!
And I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the least bit nervous about the next 20 weeks. I am starting to get winded going up stairs or hills. Carrying solid Jimmy is work and poops me out. Wasn't I in shape before all this started? Not being able to lay on my stomach can be frustrating, not to mention having to go to the bathroom frequently. I am still getting over the random virus I picked up on vacation (so not cool to do) and last night had a little panic attack when I realized I would be 20 weeks today. I told Marshall that I wanted the baby to come now and I didn't want to do this anymore. That I wish I could just take off my belly for a little while and let him carry the baby, like with one of those faux pregnancy tummies that straps on. It hit me that I was only going to get bigger and more uncomfortable and I thought "Ah! I don't want to!"
Now I am sure I am the only woman who has ever felt this way (yeah right). It's not that I don't want the new baby or am not excited about being pregnant. It's just that the reality of my ever increasing size and discomfort has materialized in my mind. It's fun to start showing and feel the baby move and watch your belly get bigger. I already feel big and awkward, despite the kind people that tell me I am not very big at all. I love being told that, but sometimes I do want to say "Even though I may not look big, I feel big for me so let me whine about how huge I feel and give me sympathy." Then comes the point where you think "Okay, I don't think I can get any bigger. Someone hit the "stop" button!" I'm not to that point yet, but with the moments of discomfort I have now, I know it will come before the baby is out.
My sweet husband, always good with an answer, knew that there wasn't any right answer he could give to my little panic attack. He calmly expressed his confidence in me and told me it would be okay. This was one of those times when I was very grateful for his calm manner. I am sure running around with his hands flailing and yelling "You're right Sue! You're doomed! You're going to be humungous and writhing in agony by the end!" would not have helped. I know I will be okay, I just hope I can still breathe by the end. It WILL be so worth it to meet our new little guy!
I also am amazed that I am already at 20 weeks. It only seems like in the past two months I have felt pregnant. Sure, I've been sick all along, but I only have started to show and feel the baby move in the past month or so. I thought the sickness would never end, but it has subsided greatly and here I am at 20 weeks! Wow!
And I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the least bit nervous about the next 20 weeks. I am starting to get winded going up stairs or hills. Carrying solid Jimmy is work and poops me out. Wasn't I in shape before all this started? Not being able to lay on my stomach can be frustrating, not to mention having to go to the bathroom frequently. I am still getting over the random virus I picked up on vacation (so not cool to do) and last night had a little panic attack when I realized I would be 20 weeks today. I told Marshall that I wanted the baby to come now and I didn't want to do this anymore. That I wish I could just take off my belly for a little while and let him carry the baby, like with one of those faux pregnancy tummies that straps on. It hit me that I was only going to get bigger and more uncomfortable and I thought "Ah! I don't want to!"
Now I am sure I am the only woman who has ever felt this way (yeah right). It's not that I don't want the new baby or am not excited about being pregnant. It's just that the reality of my ever increasing size and discomfort has materialized in my mind. It's fun to start showing and feel the baby move and watch your belly get bigger. I already feel big and awkward, despite the kind people that tell me I am not very big at all. I love being told that, but sometimes I do want to say "Even though I may not look big, I feel big for me so let me whine about how huge I feel and give me sympathy." Then comes the point where you think "Okay, I don't think I can get any bigger. Someone hit the "stop" button!" I'm not to that point yet, but with the moments of discomfort I have now, I know it will come before the baby is out.
My sweet husband, always good with an answer, knew that there wasn't any right answer he could give to my little panic attack. He calmly expressed his confidence in me and told me it would be okay. This was one of those times when I was very grateful for his calm manner. I am sure running around with his hands flailing and yelling "You're right Sue! You're doomed! You're going to be humungous and writhing in agony by the end!" would not have helped. I know I will be okay, I just hope I can still breathe by the end. It WILL be so worth it to meet our new little guy!
Saturday, August 9, 2008
McConkie Family Reunion 2008 in Aspen Grove, Utah
We had so much fun this past week with Marshall's family in Aspen Grove. Beautiful and cool mountain scenery with all sorts of activities. The best part of the trip was all the food being provided in a dining hall and age appropriate classes for the kids during the day. Anna loved her leaders Alan and Mikelle and went on all sorts of adventures. They had pirate day, hiking day (where they saw a bull moose), and animal day. She even had the chance to climb up a rock climbing wall. Rachel enjoyed her classes too with her teachers Ashley and Kim. They had pirate day, western day, and hiking day too, plus everyone got to go swimming with their classes. Even Jimmy liked his teachers and looked forward to playing with them.
Since the kids were entertained during the days, the adults could relax! We played games, went to the temple as a family, napped, did a Murder Mystery, and had a ball. It was great and the perfect vacation! The only bummer was that I got sick on the last day and am still recovering. Boo on that!
We also had fun at the family dance, family sports competition, and Western Night. They had all sorts of games set up with a western theme, like hatchet throwing, feather tossing, gold panning, bottle shooting (with toy guns for the kids), Indian stories. Plus train rides and free snow cones. It was a blast!
Now it's back to reality. Though I am glad that I don't have to walk outside to the bathroom in the middle of the night or take a shower with my bug friends. I am sure the kids will miss bunking in our cabin and playing with their cousins. We had so much fun! It was a great vacation! Thank you Granddad and Grandma! 
.
Friday, August 1, 2008
I love Provo
It's funny how absence makes the heart grow founder. This will be my last blog for a week because we are heading up north for a family reunion in Aspen Grove. I can't tell you how excited I am to go back to Provo and walk around BYU campus on our way to the reunion. I have so many fond memories of BYU. Every fall I get "home sick" for Lavell Edwards Stadium and the changing colors of trees on the mountains.
But it's funny because when we were living there, I was ready to get out of Provo and away from BYU. It seemed like an eternity until my husband would finish his schooling. I came to hate our little apartment and wanted to move on. If you told me I would one day look back at that time with fondness, I would have laughed at you. Now I see all the fun times we had and muse at all the oddities of our very old and unique apartment. I love BYU and all the time I spent there. It was a big changing point for me in my life. I figured out who I was and where I wanted to be going. And I met my husband there. However, I don't think I would love it as much if I didn't have the chance to move on and put some space between myself and that time.
The same formula applies to law school. I thought we would never finish school and get out of Valpo. We had three kids in a small second story two bedroom apartment. Ah! I wanted to get out of the student mode and move on! But I look back at the time we spent in Valpo with fondness because we are no longer there, scraping by and unsure about what the future holds.
So as I get ready to go to Provo this week, I am excited. Not only for a family vacation, but also to see a place that holds a lot of special memories for me. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
But it's funny because when we were living there, I was ready to get out of Provo and away from BYU. It seemed like an eternity until my husband would finish his schooling. I came to hate our little apartment and wanted to move on. If you told me I would one day look back at that time with fondness, I would have laughed at you. Now I see all the fun times we had and muse at all the oddities of our very old and unique apartment. I love BYU and all the time I spent there. It was a big changing point for me in my life. I figured out who I was and where I wanted to be going. And I met my husband there. However, I don't think I would love it as much if I didn't have the chance to move on and put some space between myself and that time.
The same formula applies to law school. I thought we would never finish school and get out of Valpo. We had three kids in a small second story two bedroom apartment. Ah! I wanted to get out of the student mode and move on! But I look back at the time we spent in Valpo with fondness because we are no longer there, scraping by and unsure about what the future holds.
So as I get ready to go to Provo this week, I am excited. Not only for a family vacation, but also to see a place that holds a lot of special memories for me. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
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