The Joys of Adulthood

So I have a big zit on my chin. What is up with that? Thank you hormones! Am I not almost 30? It got me reflecting on some of the not-so-fun aspects of being an adult. I am sure there are more, but you get the idea.

1. Student loans, mortgage, car payments, groceries, taxes, etc: What do you mean I make this much money, but I only actually get this much once everything is paid? Ah, the joys of adulthood. When as a kid you dreamed of making money and being so rich, but then reality comes in adulthood in the form of bills.

2. Energy: So why do we have nap time when we are kids and could bounce off the walls all day long? Sure, some kids are crabby when they don't nap, but call me between one and two when we have quiet time and you'll get the same response from me. As an adult my energy level has gone down, not to mention anything about being pregnant. I would love to be able to catch a quick cat nap every day. (Okay, I usually do with the help of a quiet time show, but still...) It would be nice if we could all have some down time every day to get recharged.

3. Cooking: I love to cook. It is a creative art and I love trying out new things. But I don't want to cook every day. Some days I get tired and want to say "Kids! We're having ice cream and popcorn for dinner!" (We did do that for lunch once.) But if I don't cook, we don't get meals. Marshall is an excellent chef, but if we had to wait for him to get home from work and cook the meals, we'd all be hungry savage beasts of crabbiness. So I cook, even if some days I'd rather not.

4. Gravity, stretch marks, and tummy pooches: You know what I am talking about with gravity. What is up with that? So not cool. And stretch marks and pooches, they don't really talk about those in prenatal class. Then you have a baby and think "Good heavens! What is this? Where is my stomach? What is this raw pizza dough-like substance?" And it doesn't go away unless you work at it. No Elasta-Girls in reality. Stretch marks, they stay. Oh they fade, but never completely.

5. Pimples: C'mon. I lived through the teenage years in the hopes of not having pimples as an adult. What's up with random zits, pimples, and mondo pustules? They are occasional, but still very annoying. Isn't there a rule about not breaking out once you hit adulthood? Tell that to my hormones.

6. Cleaning and laundry: See the above on cooking, though I do not find either to be a creative outlet, but rather a necessary evil. Some days I'd rather not bother.

7. Nasty phone calls and children's bodily functions: When first dealing with both I wanted to have my mom come in and do them. But then I realized, I am the mom! Ah! No one is going to handle this crabby person or poop on my carpet, but me. Dang!

8. Increase in loss of vision and memory: As if I'm not already blind. Okay, not as blind as Marshall, but who knows what the future holds? And as for memory loss, I did go to college and graduate with a 4.0, but don't ask me now what I am doing for the week unless I have my calendar handy. All those little things you tend to let slip. I blame it on the kids. With each one that comes, they take a little bit of my mind with them.

9. Regular health check-ups: Can't I just mail in whatever needs to be checked and the doctor can send it back after the exam? Or the joys of when I get older and things get even more invasive. Let's think of new ways to torture women! And let's talk about all the things I need to look out for in my family history that could kill me off. So depressing.

Ah, the joys of adulthood. Okay, so it isn't that bad. I can still buy candy and eat it on the sly without worrying about getting in trouble with my mom.