Not Alone

I've been pondering tender mercies in my life lately, mostly due to my sister-in-law's blog about them. It amazes me how much the Lord is aware of me and my needs, especially at those times when I don't think I can do anymore. When I want to give up.

Tuesday night was one of those nights. It has been a long few days with just getting back from vacation. Marshall has been very busy and stressed catching up with work and church responsibilities. The kids and I have been adjusting to being back home and school starting. I'm still feeling weak from whatever silly disease I picked up from the mountains. It seems like Rachel and Jimmy have been fighting every chance they get and Anna, the great entertainer and leader, is gone at school all day. Tuesday night the girls were just beasts about going to bed and Marshall was late at church doing not-so-fun bishop things. I found myself in my closet (my favorite place to pour my heart out) praying and crying because I had hit the end of my strength and sanity. Wondering why now that my husband has to be bishop when we have a young family, I am pregnant with my 4th, and he is a young attorney that works many billable hours. Not knowing how I am going to do it all and wishing I didn't have to share my husband with the ward. Just feeling like I had no more to give.

Poor Marshall came home to find me in my emotional state (and I am sure pregnancy didn't help my crying) and did his best to comfort me and reassure me that it would be okay. But I went to bed feeling very bummed about life and not getting the inspiration I had wanted from my prayers.

Wednesday morning when I read my scriptures I made sure to pay close attention because I usually get revelation through my reading. And there it was "Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend." (Mosiah 4:9) Okay, so the Lord is aware of me. I needed to be reminded that although things may not always make sense to me concerning my husband's busy calling, the Lord knows what He is doing. He has the wisdom to see it and the power to help me and my family do it. I'm not alone. I know there will be many nights to come when I petition the Lord in tears and ask for help, when I think I can't do anymore. And I know He will come through and let me know, in some way, that I can do it. Thank goodness for the Gospel. I would be so lost without it and the tender mercies of the Lord.