Is that fair?

When it comes to tools and home repair, my husband would rather stick pins in his eyes than doing anything involving them. He has done some amazing things, like replace the garbage disposal and snake the toilet, but he has little interest in such handy man type things. When we first got married I assumed all men came with a love of tools. I mean, all the men I had known growing up did. So I was surprised that my husband would rather play the piano or read than fix a leaking faucet. I've gotten over the shock and now could care less. I love my husband and wouldn't change him for the world. I even get defensive if anyone gives him a hard time about his less-than-excited attitude towards home projects.

Thanks to the feminist movement gender roles have really gotten screwed up. We still expect our men to be gun slingin', dirt lovin' four wheelin', lawn mowin', hammer wieldin' tough guys. Anyone who doesn't LOVE these activities must be a little "fruity" or wimpy. Now is that really fair for men to have all that pressure because women surely don't anymore? It's all good to tease a guy about not liking to work with tools, but watch out if you joke with a woman about hating to sew. I'd run for cover! We have all these standards for guys, but don't expect women to be good at sewing, cooking, cleaning, canning, or nurturing anymore. That would be sexist and wrong.

Now I am not saying that women should love to do those things. I personally would rather have cramps for a day than try to sew a dress from scratch. I did it once and I've never done it again. I don't find joy in sewing clothes or anything. I'd rather buy my products already made. But I don't think women should expect men to be "tough guys" and get upset when they're not. No one's mocking them for not being Betty Crocker and Donna Reed rolled into one. We should hold each other to the same standard. If it's cool for me to not like sewing or scrap booking, then it better me fine for my husband to not enjoy puttering around the garage. It's only fair.

I am all for the good the feminist movement has done, but it has created a whole lot of bad, like generations of selfish, irresponsible, demanding, entitled, hoe-beasts. Women don't want to be held accountable or responsible for anything. It's not their job to do anything and if you tell them it is then you are trampling their rights. Leave the cooking, cleaning, child bearing, mothering, and overall nurturing to someone else! But men, those men better be strong, capable, tough, and loyal with a perfectly sculpted body. That's totally realistic, right?

I am glad I have the awesome husband that I do. I love him for who he is. I'm glad we let each other have our own interests without any mocking. I am glad we hold each other responsible for our roles as husband and wife, father and mother. We are a team and we expect each other to give their best each day. Sometimes that best changes with the kind of day we have, but we always love and support each other in all we do.

What a great find!

Wow! I was just busy preparing my lesson for Sunday when I stumbled across the new website at lds.org with "The Friend". It is pretty awesome. There are printable activities for kids, on-line puzzles of scripture stories, coloring pages, games, stories to listen to, and slide shows to watch. From the "For Little Friends" section there are short cartoon videos based on each month's theme in that section. And you can search coloring pages and activities based on topic. It's heaven! I love it and can't wait to show it to my kids. They like to play games on-line, but how cool is it that they can do gospel oriented activities on the computer now? Plus it's a safe and wholesome website. What a great Sunday activity!

Just go to www.lds.org, click on magazines, and then choose "The Friend". Enjoy!

Four Months Old!

Jacob turned four months on Sunday. Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! Where did the time go? I love this age that he is at. He is so sweet and happy. I even bought rice cereal today to start him on. He is very intrigued by eating. Anyhow, I included a video of his cute laugh.(Along with Jimmy yelling in the background "He laugh?" because he was waiting for me to get finished with trying to get Jacob to laugh so I could push him on the swing.) He laughs so much, but it was hard to catch it on film, of course. I love baby laughs!

Random Pictures

I've been meaning to post some pictures, but, um, life has gotten in the way. Imagine that?

This is from when Marshall's sister Bonnie and her son Michael came to visit St. George for a few weeks. We had so much fun playing with them. It was great to catch up and visit! And the kids loved Michael. The other day I took them to "Michael's" craft store to get some cake decorating stuff and they thought it was a hoot that the store was named just like their cousin. We miss you!


On their way to Disneyland, our good friends from law school stopped by. They now live in Salt Lake, but we haven't seen them in awhile. It was great to visit. I cannot believe how big their kids are! We miss them so much! We hope they had fun in Disneyland and are excited for their new house!


And last is just classic, Jimmy sleeping at the top of the stairs. He had a tantrum this afternoon that involved him wanting me to carry him downstairs. But I was feeding Jacob. So by the time I could check on him I found him as is. I wish I could sleep that easily anywhere!

Handy Sue

I have always thought it would be fun to sign up for a community education class held at the local college. There are so many things I would like to learn about, like basic auto-mechanics, home repair, plumbing, etc. I love to do little projects around the home and wish I had more knowledge in that area to help me do more "handy man" type things. Plus I think it's good for moms to have hobbies and keep educating themselves. However, there has never really been anything in the community education catalog that has ever stood out to me.

It looks like this time around my desires have been answered because I found the perfect class to take. It encompasses everything I've wanted to know a little bit more about. Here's the class description for Tools 101:

These classes will educate and empower women on how to maintain and beautify their homes, saving them time and money. Each class is hands on training. Women will learn about basic tool knowledge, plumbing, drywall, tiling, painting techniques, and also some auto maintenance. The topics are “Stepper Right Up,” “Caulk ‘Till You Drop”, “What’s Your Hang Up”, “Go With The Float”, “Brush Up On Style,” and “Start Your Engines.” Women. Tools. Knowledge. Pass It On!

That's what I'm talkin' about! Doesn't it just sound like a blast? I am so excited! And it's taught by a woman so maybe she won't make the rest of us feel like complete idiots! I signed up this weekend and will be starting the month long course in June. And my amazing husband, who always has encouraged me to take a class for fun and enrichment, is very excited for me, even if it means my being gone two nights a week. What an awesome guy! I hope the class teaches some great skills that I can use. Come June you better watch out for my hammer wielding, screw driver using, clog fixin' self!

Little Sue Riding Hood and The Big Bad Library

I have often thought that when my kids are all in school I would like to do some sort of work to keep me busy. Working in a children's library always has appealed to me. I love kids and children's books. But now I have even more motivation to look at a career in the field of the library, perhaps something like a library director or manager. I mean, I have always liked to organize things and am quite well at multi-tasking, but now I also am determined to see a change in our current library system. If that means I have to rise up to become the decision maker, so be it. I can do it in time.

You see, I think the library is out to get me and I am very annoyed by this threat. Two years ago we were told we had lost a library book. We searched and searched our house, but never found the book. Since it was a children's book we thought perhaps it had gotten lost thanks to one of the kids and so we paid the fine to replace the book. One year later the library found the book on their shelf and very begrudgingly refunded us the cost of the book, but not the $5 processing fee. So we ended up paying $5 for their mistake.

Now we are in a new chapter of library drama. Shortly after Jacob was born I received an email from the library stating one of the books I had checked out was lost. This bothered me since I remember the unusually warm December Sunday afternoon that I had dropped it off, family in tow, on the way to visit Marshall's parents. However, since I had a new baby the lost book wasn't top on my list. A few weeks passed and I went to check out a book, only to find the fine on my card. The very kind library worker, one of the few, told me they were looking into it and let me check out books. Two weeks later I went to check out some more books and was very rudely told it was not allowed. When I tried to explain the situation, I was refused the right to defend myself and treated like a dishonest idiot. Apparently, our library sees it's patrons as liars. Guilty until proven innocent. I left the library very upset. My husband, my tough guy, talked to the library about it all and they were still very rude and unyielding. We had lost the book, despite our claims that we had turned it in, and couldn't use my card until we paid for it. Well since they had previously lost a book and then found it, we said we'd pay for the book, but not the non-refundable processing fee. They refused. So I began to solely use my husband's card. The library said they would put a track on the lost book and know more in six weeks.

Months have passed and now Jacob is four months old. That means this has been going on for four months. On Tuesday I got an email from the library stating that I was going to be charged to replace said lost book due to water damage. I found this very interesting since the library claimed to not have it in their possession. This means the book has turned up and has been damaged by water. Mind you they never contacted me to tell me the book had been checked in. The library probably assumes I dropped it off, damaged, being too embarrassed to return it. But that is not so. I stand by my original claim that I returned it back in December.

So where has the book been all this time? Somehow it got damaged and the library wants me to pay for it. But I refuse because I returned it months ago and they failed to check it in. I need to go talk to them, though I know it will be a waste of time because, like before, they will not listen to me. Their patrons are liars and must be treated with contempt. We have the most obnoxious and unfriendly library policies I have ever seen. Not to mention how unimpressed I have been with our library. In Indiana we had an amazing and most efficiently run library. And it had a wonderful selection for both adults and children. I wish our library was more like that. I bet if they were more kind to their patrons they would get the funding for a better selection.

So that's why I am considering going into the field of library work once my kids are all in school. There needs to be a change in our current system. And since it is a public library, there really aren't any form of checks and balances. How does one fight against this injustice? It's mind numbing. I refuse to pay for a book I didn't damage. I'm not paying for their mistake just because they are the big bad library and I am one lowly patron. They are in the wrong and their antagonistic attitude has to change. One day I'll get my revenge. One day I'll make sure the changes are made. Until then, I'll just keep using my husband's card.

Becoming More Unified

It's so much easier to have a "zen" moment of realization when life is calm and much harder to put that new knowledge into use once things become chaotic again. A few weeks back my husband and I were talking about Elder Hales' talk on coveting. (Can you tell I liked it since I've mentioned it a few times?) Anyhow, we were talking about how that also applies to spousal roles.

Let me explain. There are days, like today when my husband has been gone all day at work and now is off at Young Men's socializing with the youth while I am at home trying to get a sick baby to sleep while his siblings (namely sisters) keep coming out of their bedrooms after they have been put to bed, when I really and truly envy what my husband does. Now I know it isn't all sunshine and lollipops for him. He may not have children clamoring all over him to get snacks or tattle about some injustice, but he does have clients and firm partners who are looking at him to do his job correctly. And he does get the pleasure of dealing with crabby people. So do I, but I love, usually, the grump folks I work with. But there are those times that I think "what I wouldn't give to be you and get out of this house and away from the kids?!" Especially at those times when he gets to go to church and my day has been bad. "Lay it one me! I'll counsel whoever needs it. Just let me speak to an adult!"

Now my husband admits that there are times that he wishes he could be home too instead of out working. Like when I am sick and need rest and the kids are climbing up the walls. Or when we go to the park, swimming, Costco, or any other type of enjoyable activity. Sometimes he just wishes he could be home to spend quality time with us.

However, we realized in our discussion that this too is a form of coveting. We may not be pining after tangible items, but we are comparing our familial roles. It's normal to let it happen now and then, but on a regular basis it can lead to bitterness, selfishness, depression, divorce, etc. Just look at society around us. "I want to be a Mom, but I better get all the privileges of a man too or else watch out!" or "I'll be the Dad, but don't expect to bring home the bacon because that's too much to ask!" It's everywhere.

Here's the newsflash: LIFE IS UNFAIR. Get it? Let me say it again: LIFE IS UNFAIR! This means that there are those days when my husband is shut up in his nice office and gets to check email on a whim or go to lunch with the guys while I am dealing with puke and twenty meltdowns before breakfast is over. But there are also days when I take the kids swimming and out to lunch while my husband has clients yelling at him and partners asking him why he didn't the things they told him not to do. That's just life. And sometimes it stinks.

But comparing and coveting the privileges of each other's roles in the relationship will not help strengthen the marriage or family. It will create envy, strife, selfishness, etc. and all that jazz I mentioned above. Such coveting will create a rift that will eventually tear a couple and family apart. Satan wants to keep us distracted from reaching our divine potential as a couple and will attack us any way he can, even causing jealousy over the stupid little things. We need to be happy with what we have. So as a mom, I need to take joy in all the wonderful moments I get with my kids and get through the rough ones. As a dad, my husband can take pride in providing for his family and working hard and get over those not too pleasant moments. When we focus on the positive, the good of what each of us brings to the family, then we are strong, unified, and indestructible.

Now, as I said, this is still something I am learning. I wish tattoos were acceptable in the church because I would write something across my forehead to remind me of this. (Of course, there would be a lot of reminders I would get put on up there so I could be reminded every time I look in the mirror. I don't think I would have the pain tolerance nor does the ink supply exits for it.) But I am trying and I know the closer I stay to the Spirit, the better chance I will have at being happy with my role as a mother and more unified with my husband.

Book Famine

I am going through a book famine. I just can't seem to find a good book to read. I'll check out something from the library that sounds intriguing, only to read a few pages and have it sit on my shelf. So I am calling on you all to give me some suggestions of good books to read. Fiction or non-fiction, just lay it on me. I miss reading!

The Cake

Here is Rachel's Batman cake that we made. She LOVED it, as you can tell by her giddy face in the next picture. She ahd fun blowing out five candles. Yeah Rachel!

Happy 5th Birthday Rachel!

Five years ago today Miss Rachel Elain made her appearance in life. And like her personality, her birth began with a big bang! It happened early in the morning after a big storm hit the area in Indiana. My whole labor from start to finish was only two hours long. The doctor came in just as Rachel came out. It was a sign of things to come, showing that Rachel waits for no one.

I love Rachel. She can be stubborn as a mule, but she is very sweet and adorable. Shy with a bit of spice. She loves to do kind things for others and is almost always willing to help out. I love the fact that Rachel isn't afraid to like what she wants to like. For example, for her birthday she got a Leonardo Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figure, a Batman action figure with car, and a Green Lantern t-shirt. She likes things considered "boys only" and could care less what anyone else has to say about it. This Saturday we are having her Batman themed birthday party with only boys invited because all her friends are boys. This morning she headed out the door to pre-school in her new Green Lantern shirt, shorts, and pink snow boots. That's Rachel! As long as her hair is combed she's good to go. I love her little unique personality and that she is comfortable being herself. That is priceless and I hope she never loses it!

Tonight we are having a Batman cake, but I'll post pictures of that when I'm finished making it! Happy Birthday Rachel!

It gets better, right?

Jimmy has been, how shall we say, on-the-verge-of-being-tied-to-a-chair crabby today. This did not bode well when we had to go to the store. It's Rachel's birthday and we needed to get some supplies to have cake and ice cream for tonight. All went well with our trip, minus a few tears, until Jimmy picked up a big $15 bag of party favors and treats that he swore he had to have. I refused and he began to throw such a tantrum that he ended up throwing himself on the floor and getting hurt. Oh, but he wasn't stopping there.

Lately when Jimmy doesn't get his way he has been asking for "Daddy". Since Marshall is currently out of town, Jimmy had a really hard time going to bed last night without his daddy. (Not that he does it a few nights every week when Marshall is at church. Go figure.) So Jimmy was tired and he knew his daddy was gone from St. George. Like any calm three year-old who doesn't get his way, he began to scream for his daddy and run away from me. I couldn't just leave the cart with Jacob, so I was stuck between Jacob and Jimmy. Of course, I see now that I should have just followed after Jimmy with the cart. The closer I would get to Jimmy, the farther he would move away from me and the louder he would scream "I want Daddy!". People came up to him asking him if he was lost. I assured them that he was just having a tantrum, even though it looked like I was some random stranger who was trying to kidnap this child. Yeah, Jimmy didn't act like he knew me at all. Rather, I was a threat. (And, yes, I almost thought about acting like I didn't know who's kid he was. Just for a split second I toyed with the idea.)

Thankfully, a very kind Wal-mart greeter, who was an experienced grandma, came to my rescue. Together we coaxed Jimmy back to the cart, after he had ran down the isle to a different section during our attempts to get him. It was awesome! I mean, just one of those "great" mothering experiences. I love it when my child draws such attention to himself in the store and makes me look like some creepy bad guy. Truly awesome!

But on the good side, the Wii says my BMI is now in the "normal" range. I guess my being sick, not sleeping, and stressed approach to life is working. Not that I wouldn't rather be healthy and calm. Since we've already have had mass hysteria and I stayed up most of the night with a sick baby, today can only get better, right?

Random

1. Did you know I am growing a beard? Me neither! According to Jimmy I am. He touched my chin one day and said "Mom, you growing a beard?" Um, thanks.

2. The sign at the Play land at McDonald's says parents are welcome to play too. What parent in their right mind would want to play in the play land equipment? I once had to go up to get a stuck Jimmy. It was not fun.

3. I got my new Lands End bathing suit. (Thanks for the suggestions, everyone.) It is cute, but I'm not too excited about that body that fits into it.

4. See I think the world is out to get me. If I am not sick or my kids aren't sick, then Jacob gets up tons at night. All result in me not getting up to exercise. It's a conspiracy I tell you. I do not like it. Especially since I am the one who is sick right now.

5. And Jacob. He has a cough again. When he woke up from his nap today Rachel asked "Mom, why does Jacob have boogies on his chin?" Poor guy.

6. Whenever I start to feel bad about my post-baby body, I end up seeing some super overweight woman in gag-a-liciously tight clothes. It always makes me feel better. Do they not realize how they look? I mean, I just can't comprehend it. How can they not know how they look?

7. Speaking of, the other day I was out shopping and a girl in thong undies bent down right in front of me to pick up something she had dropped. Now there is a good way for quick weight lost. It definitely made me want to "purge" on sight. (gag)

8. What is it with moms talking on their cell phones all the time? It drives me crazy. When I go to the park I usually am the only one not gabbing away. Can't they take some time to play with their kids? I mean, is everything that important to be talking on the phone all the time?

9. Why is there never anything good on tv when you want to sit down and watch something? Good thing we can record shows, but wouldn't it be better if the good shows were on more often? Do we really need reruns of "Family Guy" and "King of the Hill"? C'mon.

10. I thought my Homer blog today was pretty witty. I was bummed no one commented. Marshall thought it was a hoot because it was soo true.

11. I love making up words, like "gag-a-liciously". Words are more fun when you add "a-licious" or "a-rama" to them.

12. Can you tell I am avoiding going to bed on my own?

The Dreaded Boogie Man

In "The Simpson's" episode where Marge becomes addicted to gambling, Homer is left home a lot with the kids while Marge feeds her addiction at the new casino in town. One night Lisa wakes up and goes to Homer for comfort after having a bad dream about the Boogie Man. Homer, like his usual crazy self, immediately becomes scared and goes to warn Bart that there may be a Boogie Man or Boogie Men in the house. This, of course, causes mass hysteria leaving Marge to come home finding Homer and the kids huddled in the corner with Homer aiming a shotgun at a mattress barricaded door. People, I am Homer.

I have been blessed that my husband has a job that does not require a lot of traveling. I sing praises to those women whose husbands travel frequently and bow down to kiss the feet of my friends whose husbands are gone every week to work far away. You are amazing and I don't know how you do it. I am a wimp.

Part of being creative means I also have a very active imagination. Having compulsive tendencies does not help the situation. For example, last night Jimmy was scared werewolves would get him. More than anything it is a ploy to delay bedtime, as he tells me of his fear with a big smile on his face, but I assured him that nothing could get into our house because the doors and windows were locked. But then I began to question whether all the windows and doors were locked and began to worry that maybe perhaps someone would get in. Thankfully, the voice of reason, aka Marshall, was there to tell me to stop being silly and chill.

However, this week that wonderful voice of calm at night will be gone. He has to go out of town for a night. Oh the horrors! I tell you, I dread it. I am a weenie. One time when we moved out to St. George for the summer I flew with the kids and Marshall drove our car and stuff across country. Even though we got in late at night from our flight, I couldn't sleep a wink. I actually called him at 5 am in Indiana to wish him a safe trip before he hit the road. He thought I was insane because I was still up. I'm a dork. I cannot sleep without him.

So when he leaves for his overnight adventure in a far distant court, who knows if I will sleep. I will most likely barricade myself with pillows and children to keep the Boogie Man away. If you drive by my house one night and see all the lights on with us huddled atop the roof wearing tin-foil hats to ward off mind rays from the evil aliens, don't worry about my sanity, just know my husband is gone for the night.

One year older

Thanks for all the birthday wishes! I did have a great day, aside from sitting in a very long funeral just to be with my husband who had to attend as bishop. (He kept nervously saying "Happy Birthday" becvause he felt so bad about it all.) But hey, I got to spend time with him, right? (I can tell future generations the story of how on my 30th birthday I went on a date to a funeral.) We did actually get to go out to lunch afterwards and that was fun.

The kids were all very sweet and got me presents. Rachel gave me pink roses, Anna pink lotion, and Jimmy Reese's peanut butter cups (my favorite!). Marshall made me a delicious dinner and got me an ice cream cake from Cold Stone. It was heavenly and very wicked. You know, the kind of cake that leaves it's creamy residue on your lips. You know it's bad for you, but sooo good. I still have 2/3 of it left in the freezer. Goodbye waist!

For my present, and Marshall's since his birthday is in May, we got a piano. Let me tell you about this wonderful website called www.craigslist.com. It's like a garage sale on-line. People post things they want to sell. Marshall has been wanting to get a used piano for some time and has looked at a few, but none of them were too hot. Any piano we found that was nice was too pricey. Then this piano posted for $650. Too good to be true, right? It turns out the man's deceased wife was a piano teacher and so they had a few pianos around the house (what would that be like?) and he was wanting to get rid of them. The piano we got is a 15 year old Kimball. It is beautiful. It just needs to be tuned. Talk about a great find and blessing! Needless to say, Marshall and the kids have been playing out their hearts since it was delivered yesterday. It's great and I love how it makes our front room look classy.

Anyhow, I survived turning 30. I don't feel any wiser or older, though I did have some back pain this morning and I found that amusing. As if my body is saying "You're older! Ha ha ha!" But I won't let some silly back pain stop me from another year filled with all sorts of crazy adventures. Life is good!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Tomorrow I hit thirty! Whooppee! I feel pretty unimpressed with turning thirty. My life is just what I hoped it would be by this age. (Well, I did think I would be older if my husband ever became a bishop. I never thought I'd be a bishop's wife at 28. But some things can't be helped!) Anyhow, since it is my birthday you all should write comments about how amazing and awesome I am. I mean, not that I am fishing for compliments or anything. ;)

First Grade Program

Today was Anna's first grade program. She was so excited that she had had her outfit picked out and laid out for a week. It was a really cute program all about family. I included a little video of it. Anna is in the back row. (Just look for the turquoise sweater and blond hair right in the middle where the gray column comes down.) She sang her little heart out. I can't believe first grade is almost over! She's become such a cute sweet girl. I'm so proud of her and all she does.

Dreaming the Impossible

This year for my birthday I decided that I am going to get myself a new swimsuit. Yeah! What a fun present, right? What else can I think to do to torture myself? Maybe I'll call the doctor and ask him if I can do a birthday PAP smear too!

Seriously, I hate shopping for a bathing suit. It's not that I hate my body. I mean, I wish I was smaller, but that has something to do with having a baby and for some reason it takes a little bit of time to lose the weight. Whatever. I hate bathing suit shopping for the same reason that I hate dress shopping. It is almost impossible to find a suit I like and that is modest. You see, the fashion world has decided that if you have a shapely figure, you must be on the chubbier side. And if you are smaller then you don't have a chest or hips. However, my body doesn't conform to the masses. I have a bust, hips ,and smaller waist. (Oh I would have been a hit in the 40's and 50's!) So when I try on a suit that fits my bust, the rest of me is lost in a mass of fabric. I've tried the tankini suits, but then the whole issue of support is a problem. Not to mention finding a modest top. Please no accidental boob slips happening at the pool. I don't want my in-laws, whose pool we use, to know me that well.

My husband just bought a new bathing suit. I think it took a hole ten minutes. Five to pick out swim trunks he liked and five to try them on. Wow! Not hard. Just get a pair of shorts that are made for water. It was so unfair!!!! I mean, I've come to terms with being a woman, the hormones, the period, the pregnancy pains, childbirth, PAP smears, and all that jazz, but can not something be made easier? Would it have ruined some great eternal plan if bathing suits were made for women who had bodies that justified them being called such? Come on people!

Still, I will hope. I will dream that I will find "the perfect suit" in the first store I step into on my search. (Okay, I've already searched some stores, so I should say the first store I step into next time I continue my search.) It could happen. It really could. Just as likely as me getting a check in mail for a million dollars. It's totally possible.

Sir James

Life would be so boring without my deep-voiced, super curious, three year old Jimmy. He is always into something and asking lots of questions. Last week I made a bunch of strawberry jam. (Don't be too impressed, it's not that hard. I use the easy recipe.) Jimmy, as you can see, was a big help. He LOVES to cook in the kitchen. His future wife will love me for allowing his creative juices to flow in the culinary arts.

I could just squeeze and kiss Jimmy all day because he is so cute! He is always coming up with the greatest questions. Yesterday he asked me what color toots are. "Poop is brown or black, so maybe toots are gray or white or something." I don't know. I've never thought about that. What do you think?

So even though I am about to walk into the wall from a looong night thanks to Sir James, I am glad he is in my life. He, and all my other kids, help make my job fun. I wouldn't want to spend my days with anyone else!

First Roach of the Season

Summer is approaching. How do I know this? Not from the weather warming, light lasting later, or greenery in full bloom, but rather my spotting of the first cockroach of the season yesterday. As I was sweeping up after dinner by the open back door, a little "friend" came scurrying in. Time to call the bug guy because summer is coming!

I remember the first time I spotted my first cockroach here in sunny St. George. Ah, fond memories. You see, I grew up back East where seeing a cockroach means one has serious cleaning issues. So when I saw a cockroach around my home, I immediately thought that I was failing in my efforts to keep our home clean. I mean, I thought I was pretty good at keeping things nice, but maybe I wasn't.

I then found out, after talking to me mother-in-law and husband, that cockroaches are a normal occurrence in St. George. Huh? I mean, they knew this all along and yet opted to live here out of their own free will? What? Why didn't someone tell me this before?! Ants, spiders, and flies are normal bugs to see around your house. Not cockroaches! (Not to mention the first summer in our home when I found a little scorpion on the ceiling. Yeah, I wasn't too keen on St. George that year.)

Since that first memorable summer here, I've come to terms with my new bug friends. Whenever the "bug man" comes to spray, the kids have fun finding dead roaches for me to sweep up. But I still don't like them and never will get used to seeing them. Just another reason for me to dislike Dixie in the summer. But it still beats dealing with humidity so it is a price I am willing to pay, for now. (I do plan on asking God why cockroaches were created. I just can't think of a reason why aside from tormenting me.)

Movin' On Up

I've moved up in the world. No, it's not owning a home, having two cars or four children, enjoying a newly re-tiled bathroom, or being married to an attorney, but rather it's my newly acquired magazine holder. You see, I've always wanted to get one to put our magazines into.

Today I discovered my new favorite store, "Sell It Again, Sam", a delightfully fun used furniture store. Oh, I could have gone on a shopping spree in there. I grew up on yard sales and love a good find and there were a lot of very nice pieces in there! In my perusing I found a nice wooden magazine holder that I immediately snatch up for our "formal" living room. To be honest, there is nothing formal about my living room, thanks to the kids and toys that are usually scattered about it. We keep our magazines on top of the ottoman just so they can get tossed off periodically throughout the day by children who pass by or need to jump off it. (Why this urge to spew magazines all over my floor exists in my children is beyond me. Perhaps we should do a study on their behavior.) I find it very annoying to have said magazines scattered about, especially when I may actually find a spare moment to read one.(Ha! I'm so funny!) Plus, I've always thought magazine holders look classy. "Look at me, I am intelligent and sophisticated because I have a special place to put my reading material, therefore, making me all the more wise and awe-inspiring." Okay, maybe a magazine holder doesn't show that, but I think they are dang cool! I like having things in their proper places and now my magazines can have a home, one that perhaps will keep them safe from busy hands.

So I've stepped up in life. What can I say? Little by little I am getting the living room I want. Just watch out because one day I may purchase an end table and then I will be too good for you all.

Happy Easter!

Count YOUR Blessings

I loved Elder Hales' talk on staying out of debt and avoiding covetousness. He gave great counsel and really got me thinking about the importance of recognizing the blessings in our own lives.

It often is so much easier to see the blessings that happen in other people's lives when we ourselves are lacking good fortune in a certain area, whether it be a high paying job, children, a testimony, a home, great health, beauty, intellect, various talents, etc. If someone else has a blessing that we want, material or not, we can find ourselves coveting. That only leads to bitter feelings and resentment. We begin to develop pride and, therefore, animosity towards that person, which can ultimately destroy our relationship with them.

Of course, we are all human and it is hard to not want the bigger house, new car, six kids, or trim waist that our neighbor has. Life isn't fair. It's true and sometimes it's just rough, but there is no divine law that says we all should get the same out of life. We all have different blessings and trials. That's just how it works.

When we covet a blessing someone else enjoys, we are selfish and ungrateful to the Lord. Think of it this way. Children are the epitome of honesty. There have been times that I have picked out what I thought to be the "perfect" gift for each child based on their interests only to have said child open the gift, look at it with little reaction, and later exclaim they'd rather have what their sibling received. Ugh. I hate when that happens. After all my excitement and anticipation because I thought I found the perfect gift I get a big deflating punch to the stomach. So much for thinking I know that child well!

I believe that when we covet the blessings of others, we, in effect, do the same to our Father in Heaven. He knows us best and, therefore, knows what blessings and trials will suite best for our personality. When we pine after what someone else has, we are basically saying "Thanks, but I would have rather had the bigger house. You really don't know me as well as you think and your effort was totally wasted." Not the best thing to say to our Father, right? Kind of goes along with that whole scripture about how God gets really mad when we don't show gratitude.

Obviously it's easier to not covet some things than others. I've often looked at my happy husband and thought how amazing it would be to wake up and not have to battle with depression for just one day. What would it be like? Sometimes I get jealous. But then I have to remind myself that I have this trial for whatever reason the Lord deems fit. So what? It's mine for the keeping and I need to get out of it whatever the Lord meant for me to. He knows me better than I do so He must have had something in mind when He gave me this challenge. Wasting my days moping around because I don't have the blessing of happiness like my husband is going to cause me to miss out on some awesome spiritually growing experiences. And by focusing on what I do not have is going to make me neglect what I do have. It's a lose, lose situation.

Think of this blog the next time you find yourself coveting the blessings of others. Remember that the Lord has a personalized plan for each of us. It may be hard and frustrating at times to see others enjoy what for some reason we cannot get, like a depression free life, but the Lord knows what He is doing. We must put our trust in Him, live free of coveting, and learn all we can from our own blessings or lack thereof. Only then will we be able to find peace and true happiness.

There is no Prince Charming

My mom is sixty four years young and still in search of her "Prince Charming" after three failed marriages. She jokes that she will never cut off her blond tresses for fear her prince will never be able to find her without that trademark "princess" hair. Sadly, my mom, like a lot of women today, fails to realize that there is no Prince Charming.

There is no such thing as the perfect person. Everyone wakes up greasy in the morning with bad breath, has stinky toots, and forgets to throw their dirty socks in the hamper. None of us are immune to having faults. That's just part of this life. However, that doesn't keep some people from the exhausting quest of trying to find their perfect mate. It's a search that is long, lonely, and ends in heartbreak because such a person does not exist.

We live in a world of selfishness. We want all of our needs met NOW! When we get into a relationship and discover that our partner doesn't always satisfy our every whim, then we high tail it out of there for greener pasture. No one can make mistakes. We don't have time for it! And surely it must be the other person's fault for the failing match, not our own. We are, after all, walking perfection.

I like to live in a place called reality, somewhere beyond the realm of our current society. I was well aware that my husband had faults before we even married. Therefore, it wasn't some huge unpleasant surprise when he made mistakes in our marriage, whether it was saying something stupid that hurt my feelings or forgetting to clean up his dishes. Although such instances may have brought about some unhappiness, they were short lived. Why? Because I knew he wasn't perfect and so I didn't expect him to act perfect. What's the point of focusing on all the little things? His good qualities far outweigh whatever minor faults he may have.

I also knew that we'd both age. After eight and a half years of marriage, we both look a little different. I've brought four children into the world. My body has changed, but my husband finds me even more beautiful. Wouldn't it be stupid to demand his undying praise of my body and yet not allow him some room to change? He's lost some hair up top and grown a little soft around the middle, but I think he's far more handsome and sexy than he was when we first got married. He's still got it!

Besides, I don't think I would really want Prince Charming as my soul mate. I think all those love poems, singing, and need to slay wild beasts would get pretty old real quick. (I saw "Enchanted" and that prince got annoying.) I want someone to contradict me, tell me when I'm wrong, and argue with me over issues. When we were dating we always had fun matching wits. It was great and lots of fun! Plus I've got a man who is actually helpful. My guy can wield a plunger against the most ferocious potty problems, catch puke with his bare hands, and disarm the most beastly tantrum. That's a man worth keeping!

So sorry ladies, but Prince Charming is just only in fairy tales. I could say that my husband is my "Prince Charming", but I give him more credit than that. He's imperfect like me and I love him for it. Our journey through life and on to perfection is all the more fulfilling because we both fall short of the fairy tale ideal. That, my friends, is what makes a relationship work. That is living "happily ever after".

It's Over!

General Conference is over. It always seems like such a let-down after being spiritually fed by prophets and apostles for two days when Sunday night comes. As always, I gained great insight and wisdom from all those who spoke. From Elder Hales' counsel and warnings concerning materialism and coveting to Elder Holland's beautiful and vivid portrayal of the Savior's suffering in Gethsemane and on the cross. I loved seeing and feeling the powerful witness each person bore of the resurrected Christ and His restored Gospel. It touched my heart to hear President Monson, our dear prophet, share his love and concern for us all. It was a wonderful conference.

What did I gain? Too much and too personal than can be listed in a blog. Overall, I found peace and comfort in areas I have been seeking for a long time. I was also challenged and reminded of how I can be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, and member of the church. I had the chance to pause from my busy life and be still, to receive the guidance and revelation I need for my life. My testimony grew as I watched prophets of God bear witness of His Son. Despite the chaos and evil that is abundant in our world, I felt hope and strength to press forward and put my trust in the Lord. I learned that I am never alone and that the Savior truly can succor His people. I felt more bound to other members of the Church who are striving to live righteously in this increasingly wicked world. I feel blessed and humbled.

Now the challenge will be to remember and write upon my heart the knowledge I gained. Last night as I went to bed I felt renewed and excited to face life, but as the days pass and General Conference becomes more distant in my memory, the test will be to keep it in my heart. How grateful I am that we have modern prophets. I know the Lord loves me because He gave us that divine connection to Him in this corrupted world. We can be joyful and have peace despite all the adversary hurls at us because we know we are not alone and we are given all we need to succeed through the Lord, His servants, and the Spirit. How blessed we are!

John Deere Baby

Our good friends, who moved to farm country Idaho a year ago, sent us this adorable and fitting outfit for Jacob. I put it on him for the first time this week. Isn't he a cutie? We miss you Zollingers!!!!!!

A Great Easter Idea

Christ centered holidays that have competing commercial counterparts are often hard to keep children focused on the Savior. When asked about Christmas, my kids immediately state that it means we get presents from Santa. They are young and presents are super exciting and so the first thing on their mind. Easter, which is coming up, is another such holiday that has the Easter Bunny to compete with. I love the fictional holiday characters like Santa, the Easter Bunny, leprechauns, etc. They should be allowed into a child's life because of their magic and fun. But Easter is a more difficult holiday to keep focused on the Savior when it comes to dealing with small kids. I mean, what is cooler than candy?

That is why I LOVED the idea given in this month's Ensign "Random Sampler". The person writing shared how they included Christ/ Gospel centered items in their children's Easter baskets to help keep the focus where it belonged. They put in scripture markers, pocket sized hymn books, CTR rings, pass along cards, etc. And their children really enjoyed it.

What a great idea? It's really a "duh" moment because it makes perfect sense, right? So this week I went to the store and got CTR rings and bracelets for my kids and a little picture of the Resurrected Savior coming out of the tomb for their baskets. They'll still be getting their usual candy haul from the Easter Bunny, I mean I don't want an all out revolution from the kids or their parents ;), but now there will be a few things to remind them of the true meaning of Easter. You should all give it a try!

Shy, not stupid

Tuesday I had the opportunity to register my soon to be five year old for kindergarten. (Ah! My second child to head into school. I cannot believe it!) The experience left me feeling a little bitter and bringing up an old pet peeve.

I didn't realize that at registration my child would be tested on her knowledge of the alphabet and numbers. If I had, I would have prepared her for it since she is a very shy child. We sat down with the kindergarten teacher doing the testing and my sweet Rachel was just too shy to say anything. Said teacher didn't seem to have a lot of patience for it and noted how shy she was. We ended up being able to test her on letters by the teacher saying the letter and Rachel pointing to it on a sheet with the alphabet. She did pretty well, missing only a few like the confusing "b" and "d". The teacher then told me that Rachel was young for going into kindergarten this year and she wasn't sure if she was ready for it. She didn't even bother to test her on numbers and was further swayed on Rachel's unpreparedness for school when she couldn't read a simple sentence on the test. I wish we had gotten the other teacher, Anna's most awesome kindergarten teacher, who was doing the testing.

I was so bitter about this experience. Where should I begin? First, what is wrong with being shy? I was shy as a child and hated it when people made a big deal of it in front of me. I was shy in college and hated the classes that gave you credit for making comments. What if I knew exactly what was going on, didn't have any questions, and didn't want to waste class time asking pointless questions? I've grown out of my shyness to a degree and can hold my own, but it still takes me a bit to warm up to people. I never understood why being shy is so bad. And why people insist on talking about it in front of the shy person is beyond me. Pointing out the shyness only makes it worse. I know I'm shy, you don't need to tell me the obvious. Plus it's not like you say in front of Johnny, "It's okay. Johnny's just obnoxious. Poor thing." Maybe I should start doing that because there are some kids I know that have annoying traits. Or with adults too. "That's just too bad about Sarah. She just can't stop eating. She's getting really fat." How rude would that be?

Second, I was also upset because it seemed that within two minutes of meeting my child this teacher had already assumed she was not ready for kindergarten based on her lack of desire to answer the questions. Had this teacher never met a shy child? Um, shy children are normal when it comes to starting school, even I know that and I am not a teacher. But as soon as Rachel refused to answer any questions this teacher deemed her not prepared. She doesn't know my child at all and really didn't try to get to know her. I firmly believe Rachel is ready for school. She knows her letters, she can count to 20 and higher, and she's a smart kid. It was ironic because just before we went to register we had been practicing letters and numbers. And when we got home, Rachel went through her shape book from preschool and told me "Mom, this a rhombus, etc." C'mon, the girl isn't an idiot because she is shy so don't pigeon hole my child. I really hope Rachel gets Anna's kindergarten teacher. She was incredible. Anna was shy when school started, but she's improved greatly. I know Rachel will too. I really hope Rachel doesn't get this teacher who tested her otherwise we'll be in for a bumpy ride. And let me clarify that I am not expecting anyone to make exceptions for my shy child, I just want a teacher who doesn't assume my child is lacking because she is shy. One who will give her a chance.

And third, as for Rachel being "too young", um Anna's birthday is a month later and she fared kindergarten well. Plus having a birthday in April gives Rachel a few months before school starts. I don't see how she is too young. I never thought otherwise.

Who knew registering for kindergarten would be such an adventure? I was not impressed with this teacher at all. Just because a child is shy does not mean they are stupid. And acting like said child knows nothing because of shyness will only hinder the child from gaining confidence to show their knowledge. Simple concept, right? Perhaps I should become a kindergarten teacher.

April Fooled

This is what happens on April Fool's Day when your husband is bishop and the Young Women love him. We have Easter, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Halloween, and some other lovely decorations going on in our front yard. The only bummer was that Marshall came home and caught them in the act. Whoever was supposed to stall him didn't do a good enough job. I love the decor!

Embracing April

Happy April Fool's Day! I don't have any good jokes to play, but I would be tickled pink if President Obama got up and said, "April Fools! I was just pulling your chain on that whole economic plan!" Or better yet, "April Fools! I didn't really win the election!" But I digress.

April is the best month ever. It's the first real month of Spring. Flowers in bloom, trees budding, and birds singing. Easter, one very great holiday, is usually in April. General Conference takes place on the first weekend of the month. For our family it means the traditional trip to Golden Corral for a before-Saturday-morning-session breakfast buffet. And April 1st means my birthday is only 17 days away.

This year I'll be turning the big 3-0. Whoopee! I seriously don't have an hang-ups about it other than that I find turning 30 really odd. I mean, I've noticed my body getting older in some ways, but how can I be 30 when I feel like I'm only a few years out of college? Granted, I do have four kids, a house, and a husband who is a professional, but I'm still like in my mid-twenties, right?

I had a friend, who when she was nearing her 30th birthday, freaked out about the big change. She was desperate to find something big to do before she hit thirty. I think she ended up going para-sailing or something. All I remember was her coming to my house one night in a panicked state because I had to help her think of something amazing to accomplish before her life apparently ended at thirty. (Why this burden fell on me, who knows?) Personally, I thought she was insane. Like I said, I still feel like I am in my mid-twenties. Nothing wrong with feeling young! And I am not worried about not having won the Noble Peace Prize or ended world hunger before April 18th comes around. Here's a little secret about my life, I am exactly where I wanted to be when I hit thirty. I have everything I ever hoped to have as an adult. Sure, millions would be nice, but I have the amazing husband and adorable kids I always dreamed about. I'm not freaking out at all.

So I embrace April Fools Day! It means my 6 year-old is going to try to play a joke on me that will be darling, General Conference and Easter are coming, and I'm turning 30. What's not to love?