Shy, not stupid

Tuesday I had the opportunity to register my soon to be five year old for kindergarten. (Ah! My second child to head into school. I cannot believe it!) The experience left me feeling a little bitter and bringing up an old pet peeve.

I didn't realize that at registration my child would be tested on her knowledge of the alphabet and numbers. If I had, I would have prepared her for it since she is a very shy child. We sat down with the kindergarten teacher doing the testing and my sweet Rachel was just too shy to say anything. Said teacher didn't seem to have a lot of patience for it and noted how shy she was. We ended up being able to test her on letters by the teacher saying the letter and Rachel pointing to it on a sheet with the alphabet. She did pretty well, missing only a few like the confusing "b" and "d". The teacher then told me that Rachel was young for going into kindergarten this year and she wasn't sure if she was ready for it. She didn't even bother to test her on numbers and was further swayed on Rachel's unpreparedness for school when she couldn't read a simple sentence on the test. I wish we had gotten the other teacher, Anna's most awesome kindergarten teacher, who was doing the testing.

I was so bitter about this experience. Where should I begin? First, what is wrong with being shy? I was shy as a child and hated it when people made a big deal of it in front of me. I was shy in college and hated the classes that gave you credit for making comments. What if I knew exactly what was going on, didn't have any questions, and didn't want to waste class time asking pointless questions? I've grown out of my shyness to a degree and can hold my own, but it still takes me a bit to warm up to people. I never understood why being shy is so bad. And why people insist on talking about it in front of the shy person is beyond me. Pointing out the shyness only makes it worse. I know I'm shy, you don't need to tell me the obvious. Plus it's not like you say in front of Johnny, "It's okay. Johnny's just obnoxious. Poor thing." Maybe I should start doing that because there are some kids I know that have annoying traits. Or with adults too. "That's just too bad about Sarah. She just can't stop eating. She's getting really fat." How rude would that be?

Second, I was also upset because it seemed that within two minutes of meeting my child this teacher had already assumed she was not ready for kindergarten based on her lack of desire to answer the questions. Had this teacher never met a shy child? Um, shy children are normal when it comes to starting school, even I know that and I am not a teacher. But as soon as Rachel refused to answer any questions this teacher deemed her not prepared. She doesn't know my child at all and really didn't try to get to know her. I firmly believe Rachel is ready for school. She knows her letters, she can count to 20 and higher, and she's a smart kid. It was ironic because just before we went to register we had been practicing letters and numbers. And when we got home, Rachel went through her shape book from preschool and told me "Mom, this a rhombus, etc." C'mon, the girl isn't an idiot because she is shy so don't pigeon hole my child. I really hope Rachel gets Anna's kindergarten teacher. She was incredible. Anna was shy when school started, but she's improved greatly. I know Rachel will too. I really hope Rachel doesn't get this teacher who tested her otherwise we'll be in for a bumpy ride. And let me clarify that I am not expecting anyone to make exceptions for my shy child, I just want a teacher who doesn't assume my child is lacking because she is shy. One who will give her a chance.

And third, as for Rachel being "too young", um Anna's birthday is a month later and she fared kindergarten well. Plus having a birthday in April gives Rachel a few months before school starts. I don't see how she is too young. I never thought otherwise.

Who knew registering for kindergarten would be such an adventure? I was not impressed with this teacher at all. Just because a child is shy does not mean they are stupid. And acting like said child knows nothing because of shyness will only hinder the child from gaining confidence to show their knowledge. Simple concept, right? Perhaps I should become a kindergarten teacher.