Are You For Real?

I know the world has gone insane. I really do. I'm not talking about war, economics, or the upcoming election. I'm talking about the whacky safety devices designed to protect our children from any potential threats. I really think parents and manufacturers have lost it and have become overly paranoid. Protect our children from anything harmful, but don't encroach upon their individuality by teaching them to be responsible moral people. Next thing you know, they'll start telling us to leave our children in Ziploc bags until age 5 to allow maximum protection. Anyhow, let's look at a few items I found in one of the many catalogs I receive in the mail.


Our mission: design a shopping cart cover that you can truly put on while holding a squirmy baby! Our streamlined cover shields just as well as big, flouncy ones, but is a dream to handle — you can really put it on (and take it off) with just one hand. Adjusts to fit all carts. Nicely padded for baby's comfort, with side pockets, toy loops, harness, and carry bag.

"Our Mission: To make your life more complicated and induce feelings of guilt if you let your child touch anything in public." This item always makes me laugh when I see it. I don't care how easy they make it to use, it seems silly to me. When I am going grocery shopping, which I never do alone, I don't need to add one more item to drag along. I'm not going on vacation, I am going to the store and want to divide and conquer as quickly as possible. Plus I am not too worried about my child dying from some dread disease they pick up from a shopping cart. If I have a drooly baby who likes to suck on everything, I wipe the handle bar down with a wipe. And if they try to suck on the cart, I say "no" and teach them it's not a good thing. Problem solved. I don't see the need to bring along my own fortress against disease every time I go shopping.



Another brilliant idea! This just reminds me of wrapping my child up in bubble wrap. This is for parents who are too lazy to sled down the hill with their child. Seriously, the kid in the picture looks too young to be sledding anyhow. But we can't use a dangerous sled with metal runners. It could decapitate a child or sever some important body part. I know. I grew up in Pennsylvania and we went sledding every winter. The number of severing accidents by sleds were always . . . zero every year. I'm not kidding. And we can't have the child fall off the sled. No way! No pain is allowed. No fun permitted either.



See baby on the BIG screen, with the largest ever flat screen monitor! At 7", this video baby monitor delivers incredible color images, plus crisp black and white night vision, too.

Now I can watch my baby sleep on tv for only $230. Sweet! I love the night vision feature too because I can think of nothing better than popping up a big bowl of popcorn and watching my baby sleep on tv. Talk about party. I'm sorry, but someone is super paranoid. As if parents these days aren't hyperactive spazz people as it is. Unless you put your child to sleep in a room full of rabid dogs or snakes, there really isn't any reason to be able to watch them on tv. It'll be okay to let the little one sleep. He doesn't need to be monitored 24/7. Can you imagine the life that poor child has in store?

Just a few examples of how the world has gone insane. I know there are scary things that happen and evil people out there, but I don't think we can protect our children from everything. I think it's more important to teach our children correct principles and then allow them to put those teachings to use. Bubble wrap and Ziploc won't save them from the far more spiritually destructive forces of the world. Let the kids get a scrapped knee or fall off a sled. This is what being a kid is all about. Only as a child can they have such freedom to explore the world around them and experience things. Don't take that away from them. Of course I am an evil parent who lets her first grader walk home from the bus stop every day so I may already be condemning my child to a life of misery. But I think not since she LOVES her independence and will tell you without fail if you aren't choosing the right. That's what I call parenting.