In His Own Time

Often the Lord has His own time frame for things, which can be very trying and frustrating. Sometimes it feels like there never will be an end in sight to our trials and at those times we need to call upon our faith and trust in the Lord. We have to believe that one day all will be made right and enduring our trials will be worthwhile.

For sixteen years my mom has been inactive in the Gospel. For my father it has been twenty three years. I remember growing up and wishing so badly that I had parents who lived and taught the Gospel in our home. I remember sitting alone as a teenager in church and looking longingly at the families gathered together. I remember my wedding day, it was bitter sweet. Wonderful and all I had ever hoped and worked for because I was getting married in the temple to a righteous and worthy man, but sad because only my sister came to Utah to be in the temple with me. I think every girl dreams of having her parents be involved in her wedding, but mine could not be where I was. I remember committing to myself that my children would never know such sorrow.

For years I have prayed and hoped for my mom to return to the gospel. Her life has been filled with so much sadness and I know she would find joy in the Lord. I have spent countless hours on my knees praying on her behalf. I faithfully put her name, along with the rest of my family, on the temple prayer roll every month. We've had many gospel related discussions. We gave her a subscription to the "Ensign" as a gift on year. We've watched and cried as she has struggled to make her way through this life. Missionaries and visiting teachers have contacted her off and on, but she never really has had any interest. They say watching a child go astray is heart wrenching, but I say the same also applies to watching a parent fall away.

But now after all these years, there seems to be a light breaking through the clouds. For the past few months my mom has been meeting with the missionaries on a weekly basis. They come and share a spiritual message with her, which she welcomes. They invited her to church and she actually attended. She asked us to get her a subscription to the "Ensign", which we readily did. When the new temple was announced in Philadelphia, she was so excited when I told her. I joked about how we will have to go together one time when I visit. I've teased her before about going to Anna's wedding in the temple and she has always responded in some non-committal fashion. But this time she told me to give her some time and she would be ready. Good thing because the temple should be completed by the time she is ready. I actually had her tell me she would go!

Now I know this is just the beginning of the journey. But the steps, not matter how small, are moving in the right direction. I am almost afraid to believe it is happening after all these years. I'll watch it unfold in whatever time it takes and pray she keeps on this path. But it gives me great joy to know my prayers are being answered. To know that the Lord is aware of me. Sixteen years is a long time, but I've kept hope. There have been times when I doubted, but I have always come around. I don't know if my dad or my sisters will ever come around, but I can still hope and pray for them. What I do know is that the Lord will strengthen and sustain me as I exercise my faith and hope in Him and His plan for me, no matter the time frame.